I Wept for You Today


I wept for you today
In the kindest most gentlest way
I wept for you today

Do you see the child within
So broken and so scared
I wept for you today

When will you stop running
When will you surrender
I wept for you today

I see that wounded one within
I sense the brokenness and the pain
I wept for you today

Do you feel so all alone
Hopeless and despaired
I wept for you today

I long to hold you to take your pain
But I hear you boost I’m fine
I wept for you today

I ache for the wounded little you
The one so scared and all alone
I wept for you today

When will you let go
When will it be enough
I wept for you today

It’s your choice to let go or not
It’s up to you to receive His love
I wept for you today

Please before it’s too late surrender
Allow Him to comfort you so well
I weep for you today

Freedom in Him can be had
Forgiveness is your key
I weep for you

You’re not alone
You are not rejected
I weep for you today

I pray for you

I weep for you today

~Pamela Richards-Woodall

Power in a Pandemic: What is fear?

During this time in which we find ourselves living, I firmly believe we must be willing to step outside the box, even ourselves, in order to grab hold of new and innovative thought processes for surviving day to day with a healthy mindset. For me, that’s included a few things I’ll share here.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts from wherever you are.

I do wanta encourage you in that you are not alone! Especially if Jesus lives in your heart!

Isaiah 54:10

Even if the mountains were to crumble and the hills disappear,
my heart of steadfast, faithful love will never leave you, and
my covenant of peace with you will never be shaken,” says Yahweh,
whose love and compassion will never give up on you.

1. Keep your focus on His unfailing love

 His love endures forever” (Psalm 136:26).

It has taken me so many years to realize God’s unfailing love for me!

I grew up in an insanely dysfunctional home where love was never spoken of nor practiced. Not sure my guardians knew how or what love really was. Well, no, of course, they didn’t; otherwise, I wouldn’t have experienced such horrific child abuse! I was taught that I was worthless and no account. That was a lie!

I am very valuable! As we all are in God’s sight!

Being married to my wonderful beloved has taught me so much about unconditional love! We are neither perfect, but his love for me is a godly love and reflects Jesus in Him. I am highly blessed and healing deeply as a result!

2. Do not fear!

There are over 365 times written in His word to ‘fear not’!

I’ve had to engage my mind on this one so much, or rather, I have to retrain my brain to not focus on fear! I grew up with fear as a close friend, so close in fact that I could often feel the hot, clammy breath of fear breathing down my neck as a little girl.

#fearnot

For me, I have to focus on the blessings and promises of God, rather than what the media is throwing out on the airwaves of late. If I don’t keep my guard up, I can easily be freaked out by what folks are spewing forth of late. That’s not healthy!

I know in Whom I believe and it isn’t some news outlet or social media site. I occasionally listen to several news sources, for I do not believe any one of them solely anymore. It’s kinda like the ole saying, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Don’t get all your information from one source….unless that source is the Word of God!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sadly, I find many I meet along the way are so afraid!

And why not??

With all the fear being spewed forth daily on social media and through news outlets, it’s no wonder we’re not all running for those mountains for cover!

I have learned that fear is a perceived threat of some kind to ourselves or our family unit. When we are afraid, we react totally out of the ‘flight or fight’ mode. Adrenaline pumps through our system, causing us to make hasty decisions instead of mediating on a safe answer.

I’ve also read where some believe the opposite of fear is safety. Maybe so. I know for me when I’m afraid, I do not feel safe at all. I’m learning not to jump into the emotion of fear so quickly!

I’ll hear folks talking bout how we need to stock up on this or that because soon there won’t be any more of that item, and fear begins to quiver within my being. There is nothing wrong at all with using common sense and being prepared. I just can’t jump over into being afraid. Then I must remind myself on Whom I believe and trust.

Maybe for me the opposite of fear is trusting in the One who made the universe!

Fear is nasty and messy for me and I do not like it in my life. I appreciate the times I need that emotion for protection but I do not want to live there anymore! Life is way too short to live in fear!

I pray you are doing well and that you are able to get a handle on fear!

Have a most blessed day!

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Let us seek the Lord

May we seek our Abba when we are afraid and chose to be like King Jehoshaphat gathering all around us to seek the Lord and fast!

And may we draw deep within our being and never forget “the battle does NOT belong to us! The battle belongs to the Lord”!!!!

In all we are facing today or gonna be facing this week our Poppa God has not fallen off the throne nor has He forgotten us, His children!

Let us go forth this day and this week being an encouragement to those we meet!

Praying one for another and sharing a smile!

You are not alone!

Check out II Chronicles 20

Have a most blessed day!!

#nofearhere

#faithoverfear

Hope in a Pandemic

Strange title, huh?!

Yet, I have recently realized that for me, can’t speak for anyone else, I have indeed begun to find hope during this season.

We read in the Word in The Passion Translation, in Proverbs 13: 12, When hope’s dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But when at last your dream comes true, life’s sweetness will satisfy your soul.’

Same scripture in the New King James Version, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

Either way, we can clearly read that without hope, we’re sure to experience depression and often times, defeat!

What do you hope in?

Is it….friends?

The government?

Weather?

Stock Market?

Leave it all to chance and hope for the best?

We all need to put our hope in something or someone!

I place my hope in Jesus Christ!

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Without Him I have no doubt I would not be here.

With all the many horrors I’ve experienced and lived through from childhood on….He is the only reason I live and breath!

So today I celebrate my hope in a pandemic!

I am gaining more and more healing during this time of mourning the passing of my sweet mother in law as well as both my parents over the past two years.

I’m also gaining healing over past traumas that have caused me great grief and saddness.

I am embracing newness of life as I uncover those hidden treasures the enemy has kept from me that were mine all along from Abba.

I encourage you to also begin seeking your hope!

Hope is energizing!

Hope is healing!

Hope is a sweet medicine bubbling up from the depths of one’s soul!

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Jesus is that tree of life we can draw strength from!

It is He who has sustained me and given me the ability to keep moving forward.

It is He who has comforted me when my heart was breaking because of hurtful words spoken by those near me.

It is He who has made a way where there seemed no way.

It is He who has proven time and again He is oh, so trustworthy.

It is He I run to and fling myself in His waiting arms when I feel so broken from grief.

Did you know grief isn’t just about that person who has died?

No, grief can also include mourning that broken relationship; time lost and never to be gained again; seasons of life that could have been avoided if only….grief comes to us in all shapes and sizes.

I pray that if you are in a grieving season you’ll be especially kind to yourself and also allow yourself to feel the feelings. Ya gotta feel it to heal it! May sound trite but it is truth!

Who or what are you hoping for today?

To what tree are you clinging?

I’d love to hear from you!

Massive blessings to you!

Drop me a line here or email me at pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Healing me? How?

A book in the Bible talks about seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3 tells that there is a time and season for many things under Heaven. Right now this is my time of healing.

1 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

But how do I heal?

That I do not know!

What is healing?

This is what google tells me, the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.

Wow…boy oh, do I need that!

And where do I even begin?

Healthy?

Was I ever healthy?

I’m honestly not sure!

I’ve had professionals tell me I should be in an insane asylum or dead because of the horrific amount of trauma I’ve experienced.

>Trafficked to men in the community until I was 11 years old to pay the ‘light bill‘ each month.

>Massive amounts of child abuse: physical, sexual, neglect, psychological.

>Given enemas’ over and over to ‘get the devil outta me’.

>Groomed to obey whatever ever was told to me.

And so much more.

I write about this and more in my latest book, House Full of Secrets: Human Trafficking and Redemption.

All of my books are available on Kindle or Amazon in paperback. A portion of all book sales goes to Broken Pieces No More Inc, a nonprofit my husband, a dear friend and I formed to raise awareness of child abuse and human trafficking.

Right now with all that’s going on I am stepping back from most areas and focusing on gaining my own deep, inner healing. If I’m not healed then I won’t be of much use to others. It is imperative that I gain my own healing as I want to be instrumental in helping others who have trod a similar path as I have. #healingispossible

We all need healing for we’ve all been hurt in some manner.

What are you hoping to heal within?

It is possible!

And you are not alone, no matter how much you or the enemy tries to convince you of..it’s a lie!

Never allow anyone to deny you this unique opportunity to gain that necessary healing either.

I pray you will be able to join me on a similar journey and grab hold of the healing you deserve.

I Feel Your Loss

You have been gone ten days today.

I sat and watched them lower your casket in the ground. I know some may think I’m morbid but for me that’s closure. I know it was only your body as you are now in Heaven with Jesus! And that reason alone causes me to rejoice!

Yet I miss you so very much!

I’ll never again hear you say, “Honey, I love you too!”

Even so, I’d never wanta bring you back to this earth with all that’s going on! You are in a much better place now!

So for this season, I will grieve and I will mourn your passing.

I will allow myself to feel all the feelings and emotions and I will grow all the better for it!

I will closely guard the precious memories of you I have!

And I will learn from this relationship and hopefully, allow my others to grow as a result.

I don’t fully understand the process of grieving, of mourning but I am learning and growing.

I miss you so very much!

And I love you deeply!

Thank you for teaching me all you did!

Anger and Grief

Do these two really go together?

I don’t know the answer to that but I suspect they do!

At least they do for me, here, tonight as I sit at my desk staring out into the darkness just on the other side of my window.

I find myself wondering if there’s anyone out there somewhere watching me! Lordy I surely hope not! No alarms are going off so I’m safe…for now!

My beloved is still at work though he will soon be home. Oh how I dearly miss him! And I so dislike him working this second shift but we know it’s only for a season. However, I pray I can maintain for the season no matter how long. I am very grateful for him and wonderfully blessed he is my husband!

This other season….this season of anger and despair and grief that seems as if it’s suffocating my very being….I do not like this season at all!

Anger!

Anger so white hot it seems as if it would sizzle my flesh right off my bones!

Anger that causes me to want to crumple up those who have hurt me into a small little ball of nothingness and throw them so very far away!

Anger!

What is anger?

It is an emotion that can produce a flight or fight feeling. It can bring on fear or depression. It can make you feel as if you’re going outta your mind.

Anger is a valid emotion.

Anger can also mask underlying emotions!

You can do some research on it.

For me, I know my anger is a mask of deeper emotions.

Emotions that have been swimming to the surface of my soul for years.

Why haven’t I felt them before now?

Well, I probably have though not to this degree!

You see as I’m now safely with my beloved, I am able to begin the process of really beginning to feel that horrific rejection and woundings from my childhood. Those things happened when my mother and grandmother and others viciously abused me.

I’m grateful for the forgiving process for I do believe I have begun that long ago and will continue.

Healing

Now, I need to focus on healing the little girl within!

I need to listen to her silent screams that are erupting from my soul!

I need to give her the attention she deserves as we work together to heal all those deep, burning wounds from long ago.

I need to acknowledge that what happened to her really happened to me.

Healing sucks and is very messy but oh, so necessary if one is hoping to live a healthy life. And I do!

So I will feel it to heal it no matter what!

I lived through the hell of it all and I will live through the recovery of me, the true me, the authentic me!!

I will grieve for the lost little me!

I will heal.

I will journal.

I will go hang out in nature.

I will let myself cry.

I will talk with my counselor.

I will heal because I am worth it!

I pray you too will find whatever healing you are needing. The effort is worth it!

#griefsucks #mentalhealthmatters

I do not like grief!

There…I said it!

My mom passed in September 2019 and my daddy died in December 2020.

My sweet mother in law, who is more of a momma to me, is in her end of life phase. Of course we never know when that final day will be..yet…we must grieve!

I have had to acknowledge I am not in a good place right now! I know it’s a part of life but still…I don’t like being here. Nevertheless, here I am and there I shall go and in the going I will gain healing and His peace!

I’ve realized over the past few weeks as we are preparing for the home going of my mother in law, I haven’t really allowed myself to grieve the loss of both my parents. Wow…the onslaught of emotions is huge!

How do you deal with grief?

My old way, which was to pretty much avoid the subject all together, hasn’t worked out too good yet!

Matter of fact, I will be seeing a grief counselor beginning next week for a season.

I encourage anyone in need to see professional help with any mental health issue.

Given the day we now live in with fear being spewed forth on all fronts, we are on overload! We hear fear based noise all day long…if we have the medium going. I chose to turn mine off!!

You do have that choice! Although many would like us to think we don’t!

Yes we do!

Yes you do!

Yes I do!

I want to make healthy choices for my life! As I’m walking through this season of grief I must make sure to destress often or I’ll be on grief overload which is not good for anyone!

Hanging out in nature helps me with destressing a lot!

Writing in my journal helps too. I dump feelings, emotions, thoughts no matter what. It helps me to get ’em all out so hopefully I’ll not pick ’em up again. Sometimes I do though then need to do the dumping all over again! Practice!

I encourage you to be active in processing your grief or even fear! Both can play havoc with our being. Make sure to take time for you because you are so worth it!

Until next time….blessings!

Words. I am listening.

I heard her whisper.

A low, soft whisper.

Faint.

Delicate.

Barely able to make out the words.

But it was her’s. They were her’s.

I wasn’t able to make out her words but they were there.

They’d now been released upon the gentle breeze that drifted around me, sensual, sure and steady. I knew that once released, they would never be drawn back in but rather carried on the fragile wings of the wind.

Words.

What are they?

Who owns them?

Is the owner the one who chooses to speak them out loud to be lifted on a gentle breeze?

Or is the owner the one who welcomes those words within the depths of their ears?

Words.

Life.

Death.

Purpose.

Hope.

Fear.

Despair.

Words.

Yet her words grabbed my soul with a two fisted grip. They quickly laid claim to my inner being. My marrow tingled at their newness.

Her words smelt like lilacs newly bloomed out with a faint sheen of freshly fallen dew. They embraced my being like warm honeysuckle wrapping around a partially fallen fence post.

Words.

Her words.

Truth filled, sorrowful, inspiring words.

Warm.

Lingering.

Rhythm swaying.

“I’m here!”

I hear her words.

“Listen.”

“Release me.”

“It’s nearing the time.”

Words….her words…

     They beckon my soul.

Words have meaning and these words are intense.

I’ve recently begun to hear her words more frequently, calling to me.

She’s been whispering to me for some time but sadly I haven’t been listening until of late.

Her words.

Where will the lead me?

Where will they direct?

I so yearn to know more of her words!

Her words will release the prisoner that I am!

Words.

Yearnings.

Longing.

Healing.

Words.

Her words.

Yes! I am listening!

#secretsnomore

I am pleased and excited to announce that my latest book, House Full of Secrets: Human Trafficking and Redemption, is now available in paperback and kindle. Any of my books may be purchased through Amazon.

This was a very hard book to write as I shared a great deal of my own personal story. And in it I share parts of my soul with you. Parts of my soul I’d never want anyone to see; yet, I truly believe that I need to share my truth in order that others may know the freedom and hope I now experience.

I shared secrets.

My book shares secrets. Deep, dark, evil ones!

Those secrets I’d been forced to keep as a child ‘or else‘.

Secrets I am finally finding my voice to speak out!

Proverbs 31:8-9 tells us to speak out for those who do not yet have their own voice with which to speak.

I am choosing to lend my voice to any one who needs it!

I speak about all forms of child abuse: neglect….my emotional and mental needs were neglected as well as often times I went hungry although we had plenty of food.

Physical abuse where I was hit either with switches until my little legs were bleeding or beaten with a belt, of course, where no bruises would show.

Verbal abuse was a constant of hearing what a horrible person I was, that I wasn’t ever wanted and how my mother so wished I’d of been a boy or never even born, called all sorts of vile named and more!

Sexual abuse has always been a part of who I am. Or rather who I was!

My mother and grandmother trafficked me out to men in the community to ‘help pay the monthly light bill’. This went on until I was eleven. It ended when I put a shotgun to my grandmother’s forehead threatening to shoot her if anyone ever touched me again!

The sexual and physical abuse stopped but the verbal/mental abuse grew even worse!

Now I have way more peace and hope than ever before in my life. I know Whose I am and I also know I’m okay!

Photo by Yelena Odintsova on Pexels.com

I have gained a tremendous amount of healing for which I’m eternally thankful.

Life is so good!!

I have risen up out of the ashes more incredible than ever before.

I long to see others who are walking wounded gain their own personal healing and freedom.

This is a new and exciting time in my life. One where I am stepping out of my comfort zone doing things I’ve often dreamed about. Like speaking to anyone who’ll give a listen. Traveling and sharing my story so others can step into his or her own freedom!

This is a brand new path. I hope I’ll see you along the way.

I am available for speaking opportunities.

I have one local at a Celebrate Recovery spot at Faith. Hope. Love. Church of God in Somerset. Then I will be speaking in Winchester, Ohio at Daystar Christian Center on August 15th. And on October 9 and 10th I’ll be speaking at Lake Road Baptist Church in Morrow, Ohio.

I am available for conferences, workshops, clubs, schools, churches, organizations, etc. Wherever there is a need to help others share their secrets! I will be your voice!

What secrets have you been holding?

I’d love to hear from you.

You can let me know here or email me at pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com.

No one deserves to carry a burden of guilt and shame from being forced to keeping secrets!

There is freedom!!

I’m happier and more content now than I’ve ever been in my life!

Life is indeed good!!

Blessings to you this day!

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