In June we placed my mom under Hospice care. She’d developed two large blood clots, one in each lung. There was medicine she could have taken to help reduce those and extend her life but after talking with her, she was adamant that she did not want medicine. Her words, “I’m ready to go see Jesus and Tommy!” He was her husband who’d passed years ago. So I told them to leave her be!
When you’re the POA (Power of Attorney) for someone it’s a huge responsibility. Even though I’d rather have her around for years to come, I had to consider her wishes and quality of life. Not only was mom dealing with the effects of these blood clots but she also had dementia. She had good days and bad days.
However, in the beginning, when my husband and I would go visit her she had some really good ones. Days I will forever cherish! Visits I will be forever thankful for!
On one of those good days, she apologized to me for every bad thing that had ever happened in my life. She also apologized to my beloved for when she’d worked with an attorney to split us up in 1980. She often looked me with such love in her eyes and told me, “You sure are beautiful!” Words I’d never heard growing up.
We also talked about the books I’m writing. She’d read the first one, Secrets in the Hollers. Book two, Secrets Exposed, is soon to be released. Several times she told me, “You know, don’t you, that your books are going to help many people heal from what they had to live through!”
Again, wow! Those words were like a soothing balm to my wounded soul because all I’d heard growing up and into adulthood from my mother was how worthless and sorry I was. How I’d never amount to anything. Now I know those were lies spoken by the enemy through my mother!
When she apologized to my husband, she looked at him sincerely and told him how sorry she was for interfering in our marriage and causing so much pain but she couldn’t stand the thought of him ‘taking my baby away’. It was so good and so healing to hear her say those words. I am thankful that God has helped me walk this path finding that I am able, with His help, of forgiving others!
During her last week on earth, I found out that she had a number of documented different personalities. I’ve prayed about whether or not to share this information but if it can help one person, one family, to overcome mental illness then it’s worth it. Many years ago when I first began my own healing journey I was documented to having at least 16. It’s not prideful that I share that but truth!
And why did both my mother and I have multiple personalities?
Because of the horrific trauma, we both suffered in childhood from terrible ongoing child abuse! I have traced abuse back on my mother’s and father’s side at least for four/five generations! Abuse is a generational curse! But it can be broken! I have and you can too!
It angers me when I hear others say things like, well, we just didn’t want anyone to know; or, you know, it just is how we are; or other hogwash! Well, go on! Live life in an abusive state. Don’t step up and step out to make healthier decisions. Wait! I guess that sounds a bit harsh! Well, shoot! Truly we’re either part of the problem or the solution. I’ve decided I want to be part of the solution which means shining a spotlight on the horrors of abuse! Even if I have to do so alone! One of those ways I do so is in my writings and through the non-profit, we have formed!
On Oct 17th Broken Pieces No More, Inc, a faith-based, not for profit will be hosting our first annual event to help raise awareness of domestic violence, Hope for All, at Rocky Hollow in Somerset, Ky. No one deserves to be abused.
We are helping to raise awareness on various forms of abuse and provide direction for healthy choices of healing. We will have vendors who will be selling items as well as providing information. National Impressionist/Singer Kevin Adams will provide entertainment from 5:30-7:00. Our program will be held from 7:00-8:30. Mayor Keck and County Judge Kelley will be sharing encouraging words and we’ll have a demonstration from East West Karata for women’s safety! And more!
Feel free to contact us: brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or follow us on facebook: Broken Pieces No More Inc where we post regular updates. You can also follow my blog: pamelarichardswoodall.com
