Rawness of Emotions & Healing

 

She knew she was playing with fire but she so desperately wanted to step over the edge, over to the other side. Surely there it’d be quieter. Surely there it’d be less colorful, less noisy. Surely there it’d be less demanding. Surely, right?!

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Emotions, dark and churning, swirled deep within her being. She longed to bring them out in the open to examine them but figured most folks would chastise her for doing so, for even wanting to do so. She brushed her long wavy sun-kissed hair behind her ear so she could have a clear view of what was before her.

It seemed to her that there were huge boulders placed before her path to be used as stepping stones but oh, could she really step from one to the next without falling. Falling down in the deep, dark abyss. She did not think so. Frozen! She felt frozen in place with the fear of making a decision to take the next step.

But nobody seemed to listen or for that even cared! They pushed her forward, harder. Make a decision they screamed loud and long in her ear! Hurry up! Do this! No, do that!

No one seemed to hear her when she told them she couldn’t take anymore! When she told them how very tired she was of trying so hard to hold all their words inside her being, of trying so hard to do all she could to keep everybody happy. She was so very tired!

The rawness she felt had silently made its way to the top of her soul where it was now running over like the hot tears that rolled down her cheeks and dripped off her chin. But there was no one to wipe them away. No one to catch her tears. No one.

Rawness is so scary for most everyone. They can talk about it as long as it pertains to someone else, someone else so they don’t have to look at it. Or when that someone is in a story far away or on television. When rawness is presented to another they often turn away for they cannot fully look in the face of rawness and not cringe.

Everyone will at some point feel the rawness. Many cannot face their own rawness but face it we must if we are going to grow and become the man or woman God has destined us to be. You see, facing the rawness, to me, means gettin’ real, gettin’ nakked! It simply means getting real enough with yourself to uncover what has caused any wounds whether they be super minor or larger than the Milky Way! Each person’s issues are theirs and should not be compared to another’s. And each person needs to be able to heal at his or her ability, the method for your healing might not work for another. We are all made uniquely and we’re made in His image. God never wanted any of us to hurt. Sadly that does happen.

The good news is that you can overcome any rawness, any pain, you may be facing in your life. It takes hard work to feel the feelings but without feeling it then healing the pain may not happen. I firmly believe we all could use a mental health checkup just like we get a physical. Our mental health is so intricately connected with our physical health.

 

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I encourage you to be brave and face any rawness in your own life. One step at a time just like eating the apple one bite at a time. You can do it. Besides, you are worth the effort! Healing hurts but oh my goodness, the thought of staying stuck in that rut is motivation to make the decision to grab hold of God and gain that sweet healing! Find friends who will help you walk this path. Doing so alone is super hard!

Remember in Matthew 19:26  (NKJV) But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

How do you deal with the rawness on your healing path?

We’d love to hear from you.

Feel free to email us at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or drop a letter to PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

Remember, healing happens!

#secretsnomore

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“What will the neighbors think?”

I recently had an opportunity to visit with a friend who’d grown up not far from where I did. We hadn’t seen each other in ages nor had we visited at length as we did yesterday. I walked away from that visit both feeling validated and saddened at the same time. Validated that someone else knew the truth to my story, yet sad because no one stepped forward to rescue the little girl who was being abused.

As she and I began to talk she described what I had thought had been kept secret from the community all those long years ago. After all, grandma was often known to yell, “Now, what will the neighbors think?” I grew up believing I had to please the neighbors, (people pleasing is not good). Back then that’d put fear coursing all throughout my being, now I don’t give a flip! I refuse to give others power over me any longer. (Truthfully, I am working on this one!)

 

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While we sat there talking she began to whisper how she remembered hearing her parents and grandparents talk in a worried way about my safety and well-being. She told me that they prayed a lot for me because “they just knew bad things were happening to me”.

She even shared how her parents somehow heard about how my mother threw my belongings out the front door into the yard when she was trying her hardest to split my beloved and me apart. And she did succeed; however, God has a wonderful way of redeeming according to His plan and will! He put us back together!

Listening to her softly spoken words, almost as if she were embarrassed to share, of various things I’d been exposed to; things that had been done to me I was astounded that others in our community knew of the horror. Why hadn’t someone done something? I’ll never know.

Growing up in an abusive and dysfunctional home can cause many soul scars. Seeking healthy healing along my life’s path has brought me to a place in my life where I now know and fully understand that scripture where it talks about the ‘peace that passes all understanding’. Philippians 4:7 I’ve learned to guard my peace very closely!

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It has taken a lot of hard work but I now know the power of forgiving others. Those who set out to do me harm, who hurt my little girl’s body. Anyone who has hurt you, it is important for you to make the effort to forgive them. Oh, not for them necessarily but for you! Holding a grudge against another is like eating poison hoping the other person dies and you end up six foot under. Not smart!

Forgive, no matter what they do to you. Acts 7:59-60 NIV ‘While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.’

We all have junk we must overcome. Or we can continue to waller in it all the days of our life not being any real to others, or our self and certainly not being active in furthering the Kingdom of God. I’m on the other side of my battles and I find when I glance back wondering how I made it, how I didn’t die. But God! Now I want to share my truth and see others gain their freedom, their healing, gain their peace of mind which passes all understanding.

You too can gain your peace of mind. I’d love to share with you. Thanks for listening. Remember, you are so very valuable and important. You are beautiful and full of life. You are special and intelligent. You are all this and more. Your Heavenly Father says so and He can’t lie.

Everyone deserves peace!

How do you gain peace for yourself?

What do you do to heal?

We’d love to hear from you. Feel free to email us at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or drop a letter to PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

I’ve just finished book 2, Secrets Exposed. It will be heading to the printers very soon.

You can follow me on my author page on facebook:

Author Pamela Richards Woodall

 

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Perseverance in My Thought Life

Perseverance. I used to hate that word, especially when reading James 1:2-5. (NIV)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I mean, come on! Who really enjoys trails and tribulation?! Not me!

 

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However, as I’ve grown in my walk I’ve begun to notice that when I push through a situation when I persevere, I gain more knowledge. That’s a good thing. We were never assured of a sweet life full of roses with no thorns. Nope, we were told that our path, if directed towards our Creator, will be narrow but the wide one would lead to destruction. We were warned that we would indeed have trials, have issues in life to deal with; however, that doesn’t mean we have to live there.

Years ago while attending a local church the pastor shared a message on ‘stinkin’ thinkin’ and it stuck with me! We’re told in Philippians 4 to guard our mind so if there’s a need to do so that must mean bad thoughts can get in our mind! Growing up as I did, in an abusive and dysfunctional home, I learned a lot of bad thoughts. Like, I wish I’d never of been born; or I’m so stupid, or I’ll never amount to anything and so on. Of course, these thoughts were spoken to me over and over by those who were supposed to have loved and protected me. They did not!

It’s taken many years and lots of on-purpose redirecting to change my thought life. I’ve had many starts and stops but I’ve also learned how to persevere! On purpose!

I had a counselor years ago help me with a visual image pertaining to redirecting my thought life. It’s like when a cow goes to the watering hole. Most usually that cow will walk the same path every day, day in and day out. Starts out a path and will eventually end up a rut…a grave with both ends kicked out. My old stinkin’ thinkin’ had done the same thing in my brain. I’d thought those same thoughts over and over that a rut had formed in my brain.

Dr. Caroline Leaf has traveled the globe as an author and public speaker examining many aspects of the neuroscience world has written many good books on having a healthy brain. You can check her out on YouTube also. She has helped me learn that I can, in fact, redirect my thought life which will, in turn, create a new path for my cows to take to their watering hole. Cool huh!?!

Those who often told me I’d never amount to anything were wrong. They were hurting in their own stuff and had not gained the healing they needed. Doesn’t make what they did right for it wasn’t. I fully believe once you become an adult it is totally your responsibility to adjust any negative or false beliefs to become a strong adult. Easy? Nope! At least it hasn’t been for me.

I now know I am a strong woman of God who has endured way more than anyone should ever have to. What I experienced as a child I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy! No child deserves to live in fear!

I challenge you today: Begin today, right now, paying close attention to what you’re thinking! You really are responsible for your own thought life. And you, with God’s help, can indeed change your thinking!

Check out Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This scripture helped me learn to change my thinking. Took lots of time and effort on my part. I still will have a rogue thought to slither into my thinking; and honestly, I still have days where those thoughts will overwhelm me to the point of going numb. However, I am so very thankful they are less.

You, my friend, can become anything you wanta be! Don’t let others words cast doubt on your dream! Go for it! Never let anyone stand in your way of becoming the best you God has destined you to be! You are so beautiful in His eyes!

I would love to hear your story! You can email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Or write to: BPNM PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

Book 2, Secrets Exposed, in my Secret series will soon be released.

You can follow me on my facebook page at:

http://www.facebook.com/authorpamelarichardswoodall

 

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It’s ok….

It is ok….

It is ok to have a meltdown….

It is ok to hurt…..

It is ok to wonder…..

It is ok to have gobs of questions…..

It is ok to need to pull back and regroup….

And it is ok to yell and have a fit.

Just don’t stay there.

Self care is vitally important!

In today’s world of fast paced and instant gratification there comes a time one needs to pull away where it’s calm and quiet.

May you find that time!

I know I’ve suddenly found myself in need of nature and peace and quiet!

I am so looking forward to warmer temps. My soul longs for the woods!

Have a Happy Friday!

It’s still a bit early morning here. I look out my window and see a skift of snow laying on the ground. I so long for a good deep snow, at least one before the winter season is over! Since we’ve been living here on Dragonfly Farm we have yet to see and enjoy a good deep snow. I like to get out and go hiking in the snow. It’s so incredibly quiet plus I enjoy seeing footprints of various critters! Ah, well, maybe soon! We’ll see.

So here I am warm and toasty enjoying my morning coffee planning out a brand new day. This week has been stressful for some reason. Do you ever have those? Stressful weeks filled with stops and starts. I’ve also fought some really tormenting dreams which has robbed me of solid restful sleep too! Not good! Not sure why unless it’s just the devil being a punk! He does that..trying to steal, kill and destroy but he forgets he’s defeated! lol

But I am determined to have a wonderful day. Besides this is the day the Lord has made and I’m gonna have a great one! Right!?!

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I have some writing to finish up, forms to create and email out. Already kickin’ it on housework! That’s the cool thing of working from home! I bounce back and forth between both. Though sometimes I get bogged down and seem to spin my wheels. When I write out my to-do list it helps greatly!

I hope your day is good! That you are at peace and feeling rested!

You are a beautifully created unique individual! No one else can do what you’re designed to do.

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Have a wonderful Friday!

Listening but Not Hearing #nomoresecrets

I tried to tell but no one would listen!

I tried to make some noise to get their attention but they all seemed too busy to hear!

I tried to but it never seemed to be enough!

I tried.

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And when I did make a decision, when I did decide I’d had enough they began to listen.

Then they decided to not hear the truth, my truth, and they listened with tainted ears.

When I finally told they called me a lier!

When I finally decided I could no longer stay they said I was wrong!

When I finally gained enough courage to walk away they said I was a coward!

They did not know my truth!

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I’ve no doubt my truth is different from your truth! Is that okay? I’m not so sure but I know you’ll need to live with your truth the best you can. I will certainly live with mine!

And my truth has #secretsnomore !

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Sometimes I Wish…

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to pack up necessary supplies and head out deep into nature and live among the trees and the animals…drink from a cool mountain stream and listen as the trees whispered encouraging words to me.

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to stand on the highest mountain top and scream at the top of my lungs, “Enough!”

Enough hate!

Enough hurting!

Enough sadness!

Enough pain!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to stand against the assault of the coming storm instead of needing to hunker down and hide.

Sometimes I wish!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to tell that one the pain their actions are causing others. And that it’s really as simple as saying, “I’m sorry”. Or, “I forgive you!” But they don’t for whatever reason and the pain erodes a bit deeper and a bit deeper into the soul of a loved one. And it hurts!

And sometimes I wish I were brave like you. I watch you and you seem able to conquer anything that comes your way. It seems that you are able to ride the wind of storms that hit your life and always come out on top. I don’t know how you do it and I am amazed!

Sometimes I wish I was willing to throw all caution to the wind and jump! Jump and take that needed risk. But I hesitate.

Sometimes I wish I could share with you how vulnerable I feel…how open and raw! How that there are those times …like now…I long to escape the harsh realities of life and discover a slower, a softer, a less stressful side of life.

Sometimes I wish…

Ah…but this moment is ever fleeting and soon will be nothing but a mere vapor drifting on the warm updrafts lifting high over the mountains and it will be well.

Soon spring will burst forth, flowers will open up with their glorious beauty, birds will sooth my troubled soul with their chorus and the sun will bath all it touches in its golden glow.

#rape #abortion Now #secretsnomore

Triggers: rape, abortion and child abuse

We all have secrets.

I’ve learned if those secrets aren’t told, if they’re not allowed to be released then our body and mind will become infected! It’s been proven that many of our physical issues can be traced back to our holding onto secrets.

Secrets are poison!

I recently posted 3 physical areas I fought to overcome due to many years of childhood trauma. There is a vital connection.

I’m learning the freedom of telling my #secrets though not everyone is able to do so.

That’s one reason I am a #voiceforthevoiceless because not everyone has yet found his or her voice.

And not always is it easy for me to share my secrets. When I share it makes me very vunerable; however, I know how vitally important it is to speak the truth!

#Truth brings healing and freedom and a deep compassion for others who are hurting.

But it’s not all fun and good vibes! I get hate mail through emails and message on social media but I figure that’s just a few obstacles in my path.

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I woke up this morning from a dream where I was talking out loud and weeping. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t get the dream outta my consciousness so I just got up and poured my first cup of steaming hot coffee of the day.

In the dream I was a young teenager. I was standing in the principle’s office at my high school looking at a lot of fellow students through a large glass window while holding the desk microphone talking. And I was crying.

I woke up saying, “All I ever wanted was a mom to love me and accept me just as I am!”

In the dream as I’m emotionally talking suddenly the door opens and a young teen girl with long blonde hair comes towards me saying, “You have to stop talking now! You’re causing a lot of trouble!”

(No clue the importance of hair color but it was a strong image.)

This young girl was reaching towards me trying to take the Mic away from me telling me that I had to “be quiet!”

“You’re telling too much! You’ve gotta be quiet! You’ve shared too many things!”

But somehow I knew I couldn’t be quiet any longer! I had to tell my truth!

You see not long before this event I’d been raped at the football field and ended up pregnant. My mother convinced the doctor that I needed an abortion otherwise I’d go crazy and hurt myself or the baby! So they make this plan and in a few weeks I’m no longer pregnant.

I’d tried ever so hard to protect my unborn babe. My mom knew I was pregnant before I ever told her. Yet still I desperately tried to protect my baby.

The day arrived when she drove me to another city where I was scheduled to get my abortion. I was so scared but had been taught to obey whatever my mother said no matter what!

There was severe punishment if I didn’t obey.

My name was called and I was taken to an office where a well dressed woman talked to me about the “blob of flesh” they needed to remove. Not one time did she refer to the “blob” as a baby!

I was so confused and very scared! Moments later a nurse comes in to lead me down the hallway to an exam room. She has me to undress then lay on the exam table then gives me a shot.

In a short time a man in a white coat comes in and has me to put my feet in the stirrups at the foot of the exam table. I’m not sure what he’s doing but the most excruiting pain hits my abdomen. I cry out!

He tells me, not too nicely, “Just be still. It’ll be over soon!”

The pain was horrific!

I hear a vacuum like sound then a few minutes later a number of plopping sounds like something being dropped in a bucket of liquid.

It didn’t take long. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse tells me to get dressed. As I’m leaving the room I stumble over something. I look down and there on the floor at the end of the exam table is a five gallon bucket half filled with bloody looking blobs. I almost vomit!

My baby had ended up torn apart retchedly disposed of in a bucket of other babies torn apart and murdered!

I was sixteen years old.

That baby would now be 43 years old!

It’s taken a great deal of counseling, massive amounts of prayer, many sleepless nights, drugs, alcohol and more trying to move past the deep intense pain of what I’d done.

Now I have peace…oh not because of what I did but because I know God has forgiven me! It’s taken a lot for me to learn to let it go, to forgive myself and to use the horrible thing I did to hopefully help someone else!

If you’ve had an abortion there is forgiveness! And there can be peace.

I am praying for you!

I’m here to listen to your story.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

#secretsnomore brings victory

Tell me then, are you yet ready to step into #secretsnomore ?

It will require action on your part!

When you decide you’ve had enough, when you decide you deserve better you will then make a choice to change!

As long as you are tied to that secret you will walk with mental bondage!

It’s your choice!

Free mind! Free life!

Secrets poison your entire your being!

#secretsnomore is here to help you, to encourage, to listen to your secret!

You are a precious individual!

You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

You are unique!

Do you feel broken…tired…left out…undone…scared….alone…..

and much more!

You don’t have to! We are here to help!

We’d love to hear from you!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Author Pamela Richards Woodall on facebook

Yes my friend, there is indeed hope!!

How my going #secretsnomore has helped to improve 3 physical issues

I held the #secrets inside my heart, my inner being, for so many years. And in doing so I became very sick. I suffered from various forms of stomach issues and other physical junk.

1. I remember numerous doctors over my life time telling me I “have a nervous stomach”. I’ve dealt with diarrhea and constipation most of my life as well as intestinal issues.

2. I’ve fought severe headaches that have often put me to bed, lights out and everything quiet type pain.

3. I’ve dealt with chronic joint pain much of my life. Inside my body is a woman longing to escape the confines of skin and bone to go running through the forest unencumbered by any form of restraints…yes, maybe even butt naked!

No probably not literally but it would be so wonderful to walk my life’s path in total freedom. I do know I enjoy more liberty now than ever before! For that growth I am grateful!

*What physical issues have / are you dealing with because you’ve felt forced to keep the secrets?

Oh wouldn’t it be radical if we who have suffered childhood trauma learned that by releasing/telling the secrets we in fact would expedite our own healing and take back our power?!?

You can do your own research to confirm how emotional healing will in fact heal physical problems. I have and I also know from my own personal experience this is true.

#mentalhealth

#mindfulness

#lovemyself

#iamworthy

All of these are important to my well being and yours as well.

I chose to walk my healing path with Jesus leading the way for without Him I have no doubt I’d be either dead or in an insane asylum! I am so stinkin blessed!

What about you?

How are you gaining ground on your healing path?

I encourage you to take a step today towards your healing!

Why?

Because you my friend are so very worth the effort!

I’m praying for you this day!!

Have the best day you can have right where you’re at!

I’d love to hear from you!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Author Pamela Richards Woodall on face book