Have you ever had days where you seem to wrestle with some unseen force just to barely keep your head above water? It’s almost like some giant hand is trying ever so hard to push you under the water!
Have you felt surely that you were gonna drown in the depths of despair?
Have you ever tried ever so hard to get away from your own self because of the many thoughts that are fighting one over the other to get to the forefront of your mind?
Personally I often struggle with chaotic thoughts, even stinking thinking. I grew up in an abusive, dysfunctional home which created a perfect cesspool of an opportunity for stinkin’ thinkin’! I learned how to think unwisely as a child. I learned how to think unbalanced, unhealthy. Now I am learning how to think more in a healthy manner! But it’s not always easy, well at least for me anyway!
As an abused child I learned, conditioned if you will, at a very early age to try to think one, two or ever five steps ahead of a situation so I could possibly avoid yet another attack; I learned how to plot various situations in my head to figure out what I should do if this or that happened. When we learn that behavior as a child it makes deep ruts in our brains that if we don’t make the effort to get out of those ruts as an adult could very well end up being our grave! I don’t know about you but I didn’t want that!
So I’m learning to change my stinkin’ thinkin’ by creating new paths in my brain; healthier ways of thinking! Stinkin thinkin only serves to kill, steal and destroy! I want life and life more abundantly!
So what am I learning to do to change that behavior, to change that old way of thinking?
1. Identify Old Patterns
It’s taken me may years but I am realizing I am making progress in this area. I’m learning to quickly identify old patterns that have before caused me pain, grief, depression, anxiety and so much more!
Actually just this week I had an experience where I’d wandered around in this funk, this stinkin’ thinkin’, letting it suck the life outta me like two ticks and no dog! I allowed myself to get into a major depression from listening to the lies, the assaults on my thinking of how bad I am or how I’d never amount to anything or any of a hundred more accusations! While talking with my sweet husband later on I realized that the voice I heard were very familiar from my past, even all the way back to my childhood. Oh wow…revelation!
And as he so sweetly reminded me, “Babe, that’s not your Father’s voice!” (Meaning our Heavenly Father) And he was and is right!
Identify that voice.
2. Assess if the message is helpful or hurtful
So as the day that I heard and listened to the stinkin’ thinkin’ wore on I realized that the words I was hearing in my head were actually giving me a headache. Well that’s certainly not a good thing now is it?! In fact it was hurtful!
By mid-afternoon I was not only fighting depression, I was battling a major headache! I had to make some changes.
So I got out and went for a short walk to hopefully clear my head. I got a shower and actively began to change my way of thinking, change what I was listening to. And it did make a difference!
I was sad to admit all that time I spent listening to those words I’d wasted precious time I would not get back. I had allowed myself to be duped into believing the stinkin thinkin that had plagued my mind for most of that day!
3. Create a new strategy
Remember those ruts I mentioned earlier? I learned to view them as a cow path down to the pond from across the hill round the field. That cow will take the path of least resistance, much like we humans often do, and in doing so by going the same route over and over again, pretty soon a rut begins to form. Oh at first it’s merely a faint path hard to make out but after months and years of walking the same way day after day it becomes more clearly defined.
So in order to get out of this rut I must create a new plan of action, a new strategy! I must choose on purpose to think differently. I’m learning to recognize the accusing voice much quicker! And not only to recognize when I’m being lied to; I must replace those lies with His truth! And in order to know what that is I must discover it! I must search out His truth and what He says about me!
This all takes effort on my part but if I want to grow, if I want to take responsibility for my life, as a healthy adult should, then I must be willing to do so!
You too can do something similar.
If you are fighting stinkin thinkin there is positive changes availiable. I don’t know about you but I’ve decided that life is just way too precious and too short, to spend the rest of my years beating myself up. I am going to adjust my thinking. I am creating a new cow path so to speak. I do not wanta live in a rut the rest of my life!
No! I’m going to explore, discover who I am, who He wants me to be!
I’m so thankful that I’m learning to identify that voice and access whether or not those words I hear in my head is helpful or hurtful then create a new strategy! Good growth is possible!
Be kind to yourself during this transition process. It’s not easy to climb up out of a rut you’ve been walking in for years. You’ll need to be strong to climb up over and out but you can do it! One step at a time! One day at a time!
Today was a stormy one so couldn’t work outside. Instead I was able to do some much needed writing on book 2 of the Secret series, Secrets Exposed.
The other night I woke up from a dream about my characters and realized there’d be a twist with them as I’d never allowed Alex to share about his family. Right now he’s a mystery. His family is a mystery. And that mystery will aid in writing the next few chapters.
Secrets in the Hollers was the beginning! My beginning! My beginning to writing and sharing truth in a fictional setting.
You can read my book for the enjoyment or as a resource book for counselors, pastors, doctors, etc!
I write about the various secrets that go on behind closed doors.
I write about the hope I’ve found and long to share that with you!
Today I wish all the fathers in my life a wonderful day. I wish I had the warm, fuzzy memories of my dad as many do on this day but sadly I do not.
For most of my life I have been angry and really messed up because I didn’t have a protective kinda dad. That was not my reality and I’ve come to accept that more and more.
What I now believe is that a father is supposed to protect all his children from the harm of this world; not hurt them. He’s to love his wife and cover her so they present a solid unit as they raise their children in love and peace.
Sadly not all do!
My dad left my mom before my first birthday. There was a whole lot of cheating going on!
My dad would visit me off and on through out my childhood but never a solid person in my life. He had another family to care for. There are many hurtful things I could share about my dad but I chose not to.
I know what it’s like to grow up with no father, no protective love, no affirmation that I was ‘daddy’s princess’, no “I’ll protect you from the monsters that scare you”.
I had to learn to slay those lies of how unworthy I thought I was because there was no one to protect and love me as a father should. Those lies that told me I was no good, stupid, never amount to anything and more!
I’ve finally learned that even though it woulda been absolutely wonderful to have had a kind, caring, loving and protective father I did not! And I have survived!
I now know who my wonderful, loving, incredible Heavenly Father is and that I’m His Princess! That He loves me with an unconditional love. That there’s nothing I could ever do to earn His love, not cause Him to abandon or reject me.
I am learning how amazing He’s created me to be. I am learning He sees me as worthy and valuable and important and loveable!!
Oh yes, it’d be amazing to have a earthly father who’d hold me when I’m weeping and tell me ” it’s gonna be alright” but I don’t!
However I do have a Heavenly Father who knows it is and I chose to trust in Him! I chose to allow Him to heal all those wounds connected with my dad and to give me a hope for my future cuz I know He is always with me and will never leave me. He told me that in His Word!
In His Word are so many good verses that help me along my life journey. I’ve found great help and peace in times of dark trails! In His Word I find comfort and joy and everlasting love cuz He is Love!
No, I may not have had the opportunity many have of celebrating this Father’s Day with a beloved father. I do celebrate my Heavenly Father though because I know He loves me just as I am and encourages me to grow in His truth.
Yesterday I was honored to present our local Sexual Assault Resource Center at Adanta a copy of my book.
It is a great resource for any who work with children and adults especially when dealing with dysfunctional and abusive issues!
So appreciate these ladies and all they do to help those who are hurting.
If you or someone you know has been or is being sexually assaulted please seek help! You do not have to live with shame and guilt any longer! You do deserve to be happy and live a healthy life!
Also if you or someone you know could benefit from reading my story on how I learned to overcome abuse they are available through Oak Tree Publishing, at firstname.lastname@example.org. Or if you have an e-reader my book is also available on Amazon kindle.
Part of the proceeds from the sale of my books will be matched by Oak Tree Publishing which all funds then goes toward I Am a Voice for the Voiceless. This is a nonprofit we have started to reach out to assist those who are battling addiction, abuse amd poverty.
Together we can help make a difference right here in our hometown!
Kentucky is ranked #2 in substainted cases of child abuse in the nation! I don’t know about you but that’s not a stat I’m proud of!
Let’s work together to make a difference in the lives of our precious children!
I #amwriting for it soothes my soul and calms the savage beast in me that threatens to rise up out of my being and consume all within its path…..or so it seems.
Writing clears my head and helps me stay focused. Writing helps to get the words outta my head and on to paper…yes I still do the old fashion writing when I journal…but mainly use my laptop. Writing has been for many years, my friend!
It is so wonderfully exciting to have my first book published and on Amazon Kindle.
Of course I want you to buy my book and read it for it is an amazing story about hope and overcoming much adversity of the past! I also believe this book is a wonderful resource for any counselor, teacher, doctor, etc to have in their personal library. Why? Because this book is written based on a true story: Mine!
This book offers hope and healing! It offers those who have been effected by abuse in any form a way to rise up out of the deep, dark hole so many times we find ourselves in to where we can begin to see the light of day, a ray of sunshine, a glimmer of hope! Hope! It’s what the world needs more of!
Mainly I want you to know to NEVER give up on your dream no matter what it is! I’ve been fighting for mine for many years and now I see the reality of my book in paperback and on Kindle! That is so amazing!!
You have within you a dream!
What is it? Do you know?
I’d love to hear from you and help you discover what your dream is!
Give me a holler sometime. Maybe we can meet for a cup of coffee or over a cyber cup!
Have a sweet evening and remember to dream! They do come true!