Ristrictions No More

She allowed her fingers to gently skim the surface of the glistening pool slightly distorting her image that briefly reflected back at her. The water, cool and wet, beckoned her to enter into its murky depths enticing her to cast off forever the restrictions that had been placed around her many years ago.

She felt the fire within her being that could enable her to rip off those preconceived restrictions but how? How did she make that happen? That seemed so far outta her reach. She knew they were there, those unseen restrictions places on her by them, those who were supposed to have been her guardians.

But restriction covered her tightly in its unseen garments that had irritated her tender skin and kept her bound since the beginning of her time. Restrictions enacted by them, by the guardians who were to be her protectors had not had her best interest in mind at all.

These restrictions had held tight to her tender, young flesh; pulling, poking and prodding until she thought at times she would surely lose her grip on reality, surely she would lose her mind and end up dead or in an insane asylum.

There were those few times she thought, hoped with everything in her being that she’d finally be free, but sadly she was mistaken, lied to, fooled, tricked all over time and time again! When would she ever taste the sweetness of freedom?

She ached to be released yet she did not realize how very bound up she really was. Oh, to be able to make her own decisions for her own body, her own mind! But no! Someone else was always just a breath away who seemed to hold that ability.

When the earth shook around her in her young years she clinched her body so tightly it quivered; some tried to believe it was with excitement but she felt like a bowl full of red, angry jello.

Even now as an adult she still felt thus in certain settings. Those settings others never knew about nor would have understood. She longed to break out of all her restrictions. She ached to share but she rarely did. She longed to be carefree, to play in the rain, to chase fireflies, to engage with her mystical self but she dared not. She longed to allow the real part of her core person to come forth but she must protect that one with every fiber of her being.

Others were watching and she never knew when they would once again pounce on her forcing their heavy restrictions over her yet again. No, it was better to not let herself long for the sweet taste of freedom and wonder how the sweet, cool water would feel as it gently flowed past her cool skin.

But yet, this could not be, this carrying of the restriction, what was meant for her as the Teacher whom she’d met years ago had assured her if she’d but follow Him then He would show her great mysteries to unfold; He would enable her to rip the scab off of long held secrets that had a cancer like quality that oozed poison into ones body and soul.

No, she had to hold on and put her trust in Him. He had said He would enable her to grow stronger and braver so she would wait and allow this to unfold.

She would not enter into the murky waters depths this day. This day she would stand in the sun there on the bank and allow the heat to burn those areas of resisting from off her being. She would force herself to withstand the burning of refining fire as she grew stronger and her armor became more intact. She would allow herself to be made into a warrior to be useful in leading others to throw off their own restrictions and together they would build up a vital army!

Yes, today she would bask in the fiery heat as she knew she was being moulded onto a stronger core being of herself!

Soon she would emerge as the warrior she’d been destined to be those thousands of years ago!

#warriorrisingup

#iamavoiceforthevoiceless

#secretsnomore

Fab Friday

No, I suppose not everyone would be able to declare today being fabulous. Sad isn’t it?!

Mine’s been ok. Here it’s very cold. I don’t do cold well. I’ve often joked I musta been born in the wrong part of the country cuz I’d do much better in the South! Even so, I am ever so grateful for our warm home to work in as I continue my book writing and doing various household tasks.

However warm weather is soon to arrive and with it gardening, picnics, hiking, and more outdoor stuff. I really like being outside more than inside. That is if its lots warmer.

I hope your Friday has been kind to you and that you’ve felt safe and protected.

Finally I can say without a doubt I now live my life with that warm, fuzzy feeling of safety and protection! That’s mainly because I’m now married to my soulmate and am where I’m supposed to be, where I was supposed to have been many years ago but sadly circumstances changes that path for us! (Another book to be written!) And I’m loved beyond reason which is affording me the opportunity to experience returning that true love. And I’m loving!

When you have experienced childhood sexual abuse its often very hard to ever have that true sense of safety and protection. It is possible! And its hard to allow yourself to accept another’s love for you. It is possible!

One reason this is a fab Friday for me is knowing at the end of the work day my beloved will return and I will once again feel complete.

I firmly believe, for me at least, being married to this incredible man has given me much needed strength to face those demons of my past and see them slayed once and for all! And my beloved has greatly helped! Him and Jesus!

Personally I figure I’ll be battling demons the rest of my life. My perspective now has simply changed. I am ready to fight for others who have suffered childhood sexual abuse!

You see, it took me many years stuffed full of guilt, shame and condemnation from the many years of traumatic abuse I experienced to finally taste that sweet deliverance! It was a long hard fight to gain the sweet healing and freedom I now walk in! And I guard it closely!

If you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse you are not alone! And there is hope…and freedom…and healing and so much more for you to experience!

I’m here to listen to your story!Sometimes a listening ear is so important! Know that someone does care and believes!

I will be your voice until yours grows stronger!

#iamavoiceforthevoiceless

#secretsnomore

*I have written my first book, Secrets in the Hollers published by Oak Tree Publishing, sharing some of my own experience and how hope set me free!

Let me know if you’d like a copy. They are $18.05 plus shipping.

Dare to Dream

Many years ago I often dreamed of being far, far away on some exciting adventure! I’d write my dreams into short stories for my eyes only. Now, I am experiencing my dream of writing coming true for all to read!

Don’t allow anyone to steal your dream!

Secrets in the Hollers pic

 

Oak Tree Publishing, a new company, did a great job publishing my book, the first in a three part series. And I am now seeing my dream come true of reading what I’ve written in book form. How incredible it is to hold this book knowing I wrote those words!

If you know someone who works in the mental health field, is a physician, children’s pastor, teacher then this book could become a great asset! The Secret series is written in fictional form to highlight how one young worked hard to overcome the monsters that weren’t just under her bed but in her bed. You can follow Kenzy throughout her life as she discovers that there really is hope to be had when she begins making healthier choices as she makes the effort to deal with her painful past gaining fresh perspective and insight.

If you have any questions let me know or if you’d like to order a book, hit me up with that too.

Don’t forget to dream!

 

 

Exposing Secrets in 2018

Hey there!

Amazingly today is day 7 of this brand new year! How cool is that!

And what have you done with your new year thus far?

Me? Ah, I’ve been writing on book 2 in my Secret series, Secrets Exposed, which I have planned to release through my new publisher, Oak Tree Publishing, in May of this year. 

My first in the Secret series, Secrets in the Hollers, was released Oct 2017.

It is vitally important for me that secrets be exposed!

We are seeing a movement where many are saying, “Enough!” Even using #metoo !

 

Secrets in the Hollers pic

In book 1, I expose secrets of horrific child abuse set back in the hollers of a little Kentucky town: rejection, words that cut all the way down into the marrow of my bones, switchings that broke the skin bringing blood droplets to drip down my skinny legs, beatings with a leather belt falling harshly on the cool skin of my exposed backside;
…… pokings and proddings of adult hands, fingers, penises, and other objects into my  little girl openings that should never have been invaded;
….. being used as a sex slave to bring money in  to meet those monthly bills;
….. attending ceremonies that no child should ever have to witness;
…..  being locked in a cold, dark celler for hours where there’s spiders and mice and maybe snakes and they’ll eat you alive…..or that’s what you’ve been told! And while you sit there in the dark you can hear the scurrying of critters yet you aren’t sure if they will indeed eat you alive for after all, you’re only a child of four or six or eight years old so you believe what you’re told! And when they finally let you out you’re compliant and docile because you’ve gone away in your mind for protection.
….. dysfunction….people pleasing….lies….red hot pain……manipulation…and so much more!

I also share HOPE for any who has experienced even one form of abuse as there isn’t a spittin’ contest with abuse. Abuse is abuse is abuse! I share how one is truly able to find that freedom, that healing, that abundant life after abuse is very possible! But it takes hard work and prayer and lots of tears and standing firm to face those horrible monsters and it takes a determination to live and not die!

And why do I do this?

Because #iamavoicforthevoiceless

I Am a Voice for the Voiceless!

I will be the sound that helps to break your silence if need be! I am no longer afraid to tell my story, your story, a story many of us can relate to! And it’s a story that needs to be told NOW and no longer tolerated!

I want to share my strength with you, with any who are lacking that bit of determination to stand and face his or her own monsters! You are not alone! And you are so worth the effort to fight for! You are a beautiful individual full of incredible gifts and talents that can help change your world!

I’ll be at Serendipity at the Orange Door, downtown Somerset this Tue, Jan 9th from 1~3 pm if you’d like to stop by to chat, share your story or purchase a book. I’d love to see you!

I would love to hear your story!

pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

2018: Focus on the Positive

I see lotsa posts bout motivation for the new year, setting goals, writing down resolutions, hoping to be better and improved than last year and such which is normal this time of year. And while all that is truly a good thing…though I rarely ever did reach mine probably cuz they were too high… I can’t help but wonder if we’re not setting self up for failure.

Now I do like setting goals. My husband and I recently did this very thing for our new businesses we’re launching. Succeed or fail, we’ll never know if we don’t launch out into the deep and give it a go! Establishing measureable goals helps to keep us on track.

There’s plenty of areas in my life I need improvement but I’ve discovered if I spend a lot of time focusing on those areas of lack, failure, disappointment, etc I’ll end up grumpy and depressed. Well I don’t need that! Believe me!! And you don’t either. That’s why I say that we may be setting self up for more failure.

How bout writing down your accomplishments?!?

What positive things have you done in 2017?

What can you celebrate for this passing year?

Now isn’t that loads more fun to think on than the humdrum and negative??

So for me…..I published my first book with book 2 scheduled for spring 2018. I also started a new business with my incredible husband and plan to start a second one this year! I have experienced a tremendous healing…no back pain for 65 days today! That means no pain meds! This year I’ve learned Whose I am, not the lies others have tried to say I am. Those are just a few for my 2017!

I’m 2018 I pray you learn to love yourself more than ever before; that you develop days for self care because you’re worth the effort; that this new year you are able more than ever to forgive you as well as forgiving any who have hurt you….forgiving is a power tool for you to enable you to gain your freedom and healing.. and I pray this is the year you gain more peace of mind than ever before.

Remember, you are not responsible for others, only for how you respond! Chose love for them and use healthy boundaries! No one is allowed to come in and smash up your garden (heart)!!

You are a beautiful child of God and He loves you so much!

I’m learning to look in the mirror and proclaim ‘Right thar is a mighty amazing woman’! Why?? Cause Jesus lives in me!!

Happy 2018!!

Rock on and make it an awesome year!