#rape #abortion Now #secretsnomore

Triggers: rape, abortion and child abuse

We all have secrets.

I’ve learned if those secrets aren’t told, if they’re not allowed to be released then our body and mind will become infected! It’s been proven that many of our physical issues can be traced back to our holding onto secrets.

Secrets are poison!

I recently posted 3 physical areas I fought to overcome due to many years of childhood trauma. There is a vital connection.

I’m learning the freedom of telling my #secrets though not everyone is able to do so.

That’s one reason I am a #voiceforthevoiceless because not everyone has yet found his or her voice.

And not always is it easy for me to share my secrets. When I share it makes me very vunerable; however, I know how vitally important it is to speak the truth!

#Truth brings healing and freedom and a deep compassion for others who are hurting.

But it’s not all fun and good vibes! I get hate mail through emails and message on social media but I figure that’s just a few obstacles in my path.

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I woke up this morning from a dream where I was talking out loud and weeping. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t get the dream outta my consciousness so I just got up and poured my first cup of steaming hot coffee of the day.

In the dream I was a young teenager. I was standing in the principle’s office at my high school looking at a lot of fellow students through a large glass window while holding the desk microphone talking. And I was crying.

I woke up saying, “All I ever wanted was a mom to love me and accept me just as I am!”

In the dream as I’m emotionally talking suddenly the door opens and a young teen girl with long blonde hair comes towards me saying, “You have to stop talking now! You’re causing a lot of trouble!”

(No clue the importance of hair color but it was a strong image.)

This young girl was reaching towards me trying to take the Mic away from me telling me that I had to “be quiet!”

“You’re telling too much! You’ve gotta be quiet! You’ve shared too many things!”

But somehow I knew I couldn’t be quiet any longer! I had to tell my truth!

You see not long before this event I’d been raped at the football field and ended up pregnant. My mother convinced the doctor that I needed an abortion otherwise I’d go crazy and hurt myself or the baby! So they make this plan and in a few weeks I’m no longer pregnant.

I’d tried ever so hard to protect my unborn babe. My mom knew I was pregnant before I ever told her. Yet still I desperately tried to protect my baby.

The day arrived when she drove me to another city where I was scheduled to get my abortion. I was so scared but had been taught to obey whatever my mother said no matter what!

There was severe punishment if I didn’t obey.

My name was called and I was taken to an office where a well dressed woman talked to me about the “blob of flesh” they needed to remove. Not one time did she refer to the “blob” as a baby!

I was so confused and very scared! Moments later a nurse comes in to lead me down the hallway to an exam room. She has me to undress then lay on the exam table then gives me a shot.

In a short time a man in a white coat comes in and has me to put my feet in the stirrups at the foot of the exam table. I’m not sure what he’s doing but the most excruiting pain hits my abdomen. I cry out!

He tells me, not too nicely, “Just be still. It’ll be over soon!”

The pain was horrific!

I hear a vacuum like sound then a few minutes later a number of plopping sounds like something being dropped in a bucket of liquid.

It didn’t take long. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse tells me to get dressed. As I’m leaving the room I stumble over something. I look down and there on the floor at the end of the exam table is a five gallon bucket half filled with bloody looking blobs. I almost vomit!

My baby had ended up torn apart retchedly disposed of in a bucket of other babies torn apart and murdered!

I was sixteen years old.

That baby would now be 43 years old!

It’s taken a great deal of counseling, massive amounts of prayer, many sleepless nights, drugs, alcohol and more trying to move past the deep intense pain of what I’d done.

Now I have peace…oh not because of what I did but because I know God has forgiven me! It’s taken a lot for me to learn to let it go, to forgive myself and to use the horrible thing I did to hopefully help someone else!

If you’ve had an abortion there is forgiveness! And there can be peace.

I am praying for you!

I’m here to listen to your story.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

#secretsnomore

Secrets! We all have them! We all are carries of the secrets. But how many of us are able to make the decision to stop doing so?

I have decided that I will have #secretsnomore !!

I carried them for many years…only to end up bruised, battered, and almost beaten down to where I could rise no more! For over half of my life I carried those dark, destructive secrets down on the inside of my soul which almost killed me. But God had other plans!

So I’m learning to heal and share my story of what I experienced and how I have overcome!

Now, today, I am a woman who is set on enjoying this life I’ve been given to the fullest! I have a wonderful husband who is also my soulmate! He is my biggest encourager and supporter!

I chose to not keep their secrets any longer!

Why should I? Most of those abusers are dead now anyway but even if not, I still refuse to keep their secrets!

What secrets have you been keeping?

In my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, I share bits and pieces in a fictional setting of what I experienced back in the hollers of Kentucky. I will soon be releasing book two, Secrets Exposed, and am hoping to have book three, which is as yet untitled, published before the end of the year.

My husband and I are also writing our story spanning over 40 years, Soul Mates: A story of Redemption!

He has been encouraging me to write My Truth: The Story behind the Secrets which will be autobiographical. Whew..that will be a challenging one for sure!

I encourage you to begin telling one secret. It starts with a small step, a determination, a knowing that you, my friend, are really worth the effort to gain the healing of your soul you deserve! You are special and you are very worthy!

I am hear to listen to your story, to tell your secrets to. No one should have to carry such a heavy burden!

What secret are you willing to share today?

You too can begin today by having #secretsnomore !

Feel free to email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Follow me on face book at Author Pamela Richards Woodall.

I look forward to hearing from you!

You are not alone!

 

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Radical or Calm Emotions? Which do you have?

It’s early morning as I write these words. I looked out earlier to discover a frost gently laying across our hills and valley. It is beautiful!

I used to not be an early morning person but for some reason as I’ve grown older….actually over this past year…I’ve realized a likening for early morning.

I fix my first cup of coffee, turn on the local news and journal a bit then read The Word and plan out my day.

I so need His Word to direct my day and calm my emotions. I clearly remember when I used to be lead by my radical emotions which often got me into trouble! Now I’m learning to tell my emotions to be quiet and give a listen to what The Spirit is saying to me! Keeps me outta trouble that way!

There is nothing wrong with emotions at all! I believe they are a beautiful gift from our Poppa God to us. He has emotions and we are made in His image so it stands to reason we will have them as well. However it is what we do with them that counts!

How many of you have been at the store and get to witness a child having a temper fit?

It’s not a pleasant experience for sure.

I wonder if our Poppa God looks at us when we’re throwing a temper fit cuz we didn’t get our way shaking His head?

Honestly there have been times when I’ve seen older children throw themselves on the floor frailing and thrashing about and I wanted to spank their bottom! That is not acceptable behavior!

Our Poppa God is a loving Heavenly Father and I believe He expects us to behave in a mature manner as we grow older.

And because He is a loving Father He will discipline us as needed. He does not think up ways to beat us over the head with a baseball bat; no, He loves us and will provide instructions to help guide us.

How do we keep our emotions under control instead of allowing them to control us?

1. Read His Word

The Bible is our life instruction book. We really have no excuse for not knowing how to behave or which way to go for it’s all in the Word! There are many examples of how we are to conduct our self all throughout these pages.

2. Wise Counsel

It’s so vitally important to have those who are mature in the Lord that are willing to journey with you on your path. But take care here, not everyone has your best interest at heart! Choose those mentors wisely! Ask Poppa who it is He’d have you counsel with.

3. Use Your Written Words

I have been journaling since I was a young girl. It’s been very beneficial for me to do so especially as I’ve gotten older to write down my thoughts. I am now able to see patterns of behavior, whether good or bad, that I can either enhance or chose to change.

So often we fear change which actually we’re fearful of the unknown. But again, if we are following hard after Poppa then we have nothing to fear!

I’m finally learning to face my fears by stopping and turning to face whatever fear it maybe and deal with it. No it’s not always easy and my emotions can get all whacked outta place but it is necessary if I intend to grow!

What emotions do you struggle with?

What are some of the ways you have learned to control your emotions?

I pray you have a beautiful day!!

#nomorefear

#secretsnomore

#secretsinthehollers

#V4VL

#iamavoiceforthevoiceless

Child Abuser: Compassion or Death

Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me!

I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t considering all I’ve overcome.

The deal is when I hear or read of a horrific story of child abuse my first thought is, “Are all those children now in a safe place receiving proper care and love?”

Then my next thought is, “Oh my goodness, does the abuser know how to plug into Jesus? Has anyone shown him or her compassion?”

Now granted I sure didn’t used to feel this way! I used to scream “hang that sorry-good-for-nothing-scum-bag!!”

If anyone abused an innocent child they deserved the hottest hell in my opinion!

That’s how I used to feel!

I still believe very strongly they should receive the maximum punishment. Now, I also believe that someone should present them the opportunity to repent and make their life right with God.

Yes, I’m fully aware not everyone will share my opinion and that’s okay. I don’t expect that. I’m not really expecting anything.

I just know amazing grace saved me from a big ole boat load of crap I’ve done. No doubt that same amazing grace can save and forgive a child abuser!

That’s my prayer anyway!