#Healing in the Mountains

Recently, my husband and I were able to head to the Smokie mountains for refreshing and recharging! I so love being in the mountains! They speak to me and offer peace to my soul! When we were on top of Clingman’s Dome I read one of the signs that were posted. It spoke of how the Cherokee people sought healing in those mountains. I believe it is true!

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I’ve often wondered if green is God’s favorite color. He sure did create many shades of it for us to enjoy! Or at least I do. I love escaping to the woods, getting out in nature, finding a safe spot to sit and meditate. I’ve taken to the woods for safety and comfort since I was a little girl needing to escape the ‘red-hot pain’ that threatened to engulf me from all the child abuse. And I still find great peace in the underbelly of the woods! I’m so thankful we have a wooded area on our property!

 

On our trip, we met some of the most intriguing people. I enjoy engaging with others, asking questions encouraging them to share their story. We met people from all around the world. One thing I took away from our trip was that people, no matter their skin color, just wanta be valued and loved and respected! That’s all!

 

How have we as a society gotten to where we are today? Fussing, feuding, fighting, blaming others all contribute to unrest and fear. These contribute to our problems, not offer healing solutions. I personally do not believe it’s a statue problem or even a virus problem. No, it’s a heart problem!

 

But who’s willing to sit down at the table and talk about our problems instead of destroying lives and property? Is someone willing to tear off the scab of old wounds to get down the root of the problem where it’s nasty and oozing with toxins? Who’s willing to listen?

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Who’s willing to sit with that person until healing takes place? I wonder how many would do so.

Sadly, there are few folks who are willing to get down in the ditch of life to help others up. I’m so thankful to those who were willing to help me get up out of the ditch I was living in and embrace freedom in Jesus Christ! Without Him, I’m sure I’d be dead or living a horrible life!

 

Are you a ditch digger willing to help others climb out?! It does take all kinds to make the world go round. And one truth for sure we cannot escape is that when any one of us is cut, we all bleed red!

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I can’t help but wonder if, during this lockdown, we haven’t been called to examine ourselves more closely. I know I have and there are numerous areas I’ve found lacking! How are we choosing to help others? How are we conducting our self? What are our values?

One area I have been studying is fear. Never in all my sixty years have I witnessed such a worldwide mass hysteria of fear! Fear is NOT of God! To me, it’s like common sense and thinking for one’s self was thrown out the window! We are told countless times in the Bible to ‘fear not’!

 

It’s sometimes hard to not give in to that spirit of fear when it’s raging all around you. Thankfully, when Jesus lives in us, we have much to hope in! We put our hope and trust in Him then fear has no authority or right to torment us! May we all gain that truth and put fear on the run!

It is my prayer that if you are struggling with fear you will soon find peace and comfort. That you will rest in Him and gain wisdom that will guide you on your path!

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I wrote about my abuse in my Secret series and how I found hope in overcoming the effects. You can order this and the 2nd in the series, Secrets Exposed, from wherever books are sold.

 

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Mental Health and Truth

We have stepped into the second month of a brand new year and a brand new decade. How exciting is that! The sound of that just seems to hold many new and adventurous possibilities doesn’t it?

Yet, how many of us are making healthy choices on purpose?

How many of us are determined to face the truth of our issues?

Many times I’ve pretended I was just fine, thank ya very much! When in fact I was dying inside and was silently screaming for someone, somewhere to please find me before I go under the tide for the very last time! But “No”! I couldn’t dare tell you my truth….even though I’ve read that the ‘truth shall set you free’. (John 8:32)

Fear and shame were my constant companions!

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Fear kept me from reaching out for help; for letting others know, even close friends and family that I was in desperate need of help. Fear kept my mouth shut! I’d often been told as a child when being raped, “If you tell anyone I’ll hurt your mommy like this! Do you want me to do that?” Well, of course not!!

And the shame! Oh my goodness! The black, sticky shame kept me feeling so very unworthy; so extremely dirty; so unwanted and all alone! What if I told you my dark, dirty secrets? Would you still wanta be around me? Would you still wanta be my friend? Would you help me?

And that’s just how the evil one wanted it! I’m one of those individuals that believe we either follow good or evil. There’s no in-between! So, now in looking back, I can easily see where the devil was working through those around me to keep me down, to keep the evil thoughts flowing through my mind, to entice me to make unhealthy choices! For many of my years, I did not realize nor own my truth that I had a choice: That I could say, “NO!” I did not know I could!

 

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The first time I remember having a thought that I could say ‘no’ was during an attempted unsuccessful sexual encounter in my late teen years. I declined a guy’s advances which he did not like at all. That was the beginning of my awakening from the deep slumber that had been injected into my being many years ago of believing I had to go along with what was done to me as well what was expected of me. It took years of counseling, lots of determination to overcome the lies and false beliefs of my past, many prayers and a lot of starts and stops! I had to choose to become healthy! Because I was worth it!

Now, I believe we can all begin in this New Year, this new decade, to make a difference for those around us, for those younger than us rising up to become leaders in the tomorrows by exposing once and for all those lies connected with mental health issues, that there should not be a taboo on this subject. Of course we need balance as we decide with whom to share our stuff. But we need not feel ashamed in doing so either! Nor do we need to shame others!

I firmly believe that it is now time to pull the scab off of our mental health issues and get to the root of the problem! Various forms of abuse are often the root of addictions and other unhealthy practices but we do not have to remain stuck in that lifestyle! There is hope and help! There is freedom and healing!

How I so wish someone would have been brave enough to step into my mess with me. Healing is messy and maybe not everyone is cut out to get down in the ditch of mess and help an individual. But, maybe we need to do so! We at Broken Pieces No More, Inc firmly believe that once we begin to examine and deal with root issues we’ll begin to see a more healed society. We believe no one deserves to be abused and that’s why we exist; to help raise awareness of various forms of abuse and addictions as well as providing healthy healing options.

 

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I now have more peace and hope than ever! I believe you can too!

You can reach us at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or Broken Pieces No More Inc on facebook. Or drop us a note at PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

 

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Mystery Woman & #mentalhealth

I met a woman this week…some might say a cowinkidink but I think not for I don’t believe in those. She has haunted my thoughts daily ever since.

She and her friend were looking around and popped in my office wanting to know what Broken Pieces No More was!

So I quickly spout out my elevator speech in who we are and our purpose.

I saw a shadow flicker across her face when I mentioned we advocate awareness of various abuses…including domestic violence!

She shared she’d been out of a horribly abusive relationship for bout 5 years.

Before I could stop myself I asked her, “So what have you been doing for your healing in these 5 years?”

She stared me blankly and said, “Why, I don’t know!”

I love honesty!

I invited her to just come hang out if she wanted to, that we always welcome volunteers into our program. She was very interested!

That unexpected question has been hoovering at the peripheral edges of my thoughts every since then.

So my friend, I ask you this same question, “What are you doing to help in your own healing?”

Doesn’t matter who you are or what part of the journey you are on. Doesn’t even matter if your man or woman, boy or girl!

Each of us have been hurt in some way by some one!

And each and every one of us have an individual responsibility to heal from that hurt!

What are some healthy ways you are seeking more healing?

I journal;

listen to worship music;

greatly enjoy being out in nature;

do lots of reading and check in with a few close friends to make sure I’m on the right track.

I also go for a mental health checkup on a regular basis.

#mentalhealth is just as important as any other aspect of our being!

I so wish I could convey to others how vitally important it is to heal from past wounds. If not, then that injured place will become infected and could endanger that individual to growing very ill or even death!

There is medical and scientific proof that our mental health effects every part of our being.

I know I personally have connected the dots in my own healing journey between stomach issues and my state of nervousness/anxiety with past traumatic abuse. Also my back pain with sexual abuse for many years.

As I’ve become more deeply involved in my own healing, I’m now taking back my power by acknowledging that abuse and dealing with it.

One powerful thing I’ve learned to do is to apologize to the little girl within me!

No child ever wakes up one day and declares, “I do believe today is the day I want to be yelled at, beaten, raped and more”!

It was not my fault I was abused!

And I am most certainly NOT my abuse!!

I am healed and being healed!

If it weren’t for my personal relationship with Jesus I seriously doubt I’d even be alive! But I am!

So, I ask you again, “What are you doing to bring about your own personal healing?”

I’m praying for you this day!

You can read more about my childhood in my first book in the Secret series, Secrets in the Holler.

No one deserves to be abused!

I’d be honored to share with your group, organization, church, etc my amazing journey and transformation!

There is hope for healing!

You can check out the faith based nonprofit my husband I formed on face book, Instagram and Twitter at Broken Pieces No More.

As always, you’re not alone!

I’d love to hear from you!

#mentalhealth I Will Not Fear!

Wow…so 2020 has started off with a bang! (No pun intended.) Wars and rumors of wars!

I’ve watched the news reports and read posts on social media. Many, if not most, seem to be proclaiming gloom and doom.

Where’s the positive?

Now I’m certainly not one to stick my head in the sand…for one thing I prefer balance. Yes, I’d like to know what’s goin on in the world but not to the point where all the news I follow is so fear based!

I do use the off button on my remote!

Where is it written we must constantly walk around with a fear mentality?

Fear is not from my Poppa God!

All this media hype does nothing but get folks stirred up believing whatever they hear or read instead of searching the truth out!

Don’t be like sheep being lead to the slaughter.

Study to show your self approved.

And be happy!

You and you alone control your happiness! No one else!

Turn off the news.

Play a game.

Go for a walk.

Take a nap.

Get out in nature.

Clean house.

Purge any unwanted or needed items.

You are the one in control of your destiny!

Determine that 2020 is going to be an over the top amazing year for you! Then take steps to do so!

You’re always welcome to join us at Broken Pieces No More Inc as we ‘Spark the Change’ for families.

We are a faith based ministry dedicated to raising awareness of various abuses and addictions as well as providing healthy healing options.

You can find us on face book, Instagram and the Twitter.

You are not alone!

Rise up oh weary one and let your light so shine!

Pray a covering of peace and protection.

So how are maintaining your peace with all the fear and negativity?

What do you do to stay healthy and balanced?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

#mentalhealth and Christmas and Forgiving

Merry Christmas to you!

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I had wondered if we’d have a white Christmas but where we live…nope! Way too warm and that’s nice too!

I have done very little for Christmas this year. It’s simply been way too hard, too stressful to do otherwise. Oh, I tried to decorate. Had big plans for doing so. Even had my wonderful husband to bring my numerous totes of decorations to the house from storage and I even pulled some things out. I do have a few snowmen sitting about the house but that’s it.

I’m not playing scrooge or anything negative. I simply do not have the emotional energy to get caught up in all the hype of the holiday. I find myself struggling…a lot…this year with the expectations of my getting into the spirit of the holiday when I just don’t have it inside.

I refuse to get in to the whole gift giving until credit cards are maxed out! That’s crazy!

Oh, don’t get me wrong! I do celebrate the birth of my Lord and Savior for without Him I know I would not be here. I’d be dead or in an insane asylum somewhere. No, I know I’m ridiculously blessed and I’m oh, so grateful for the birth of Jesus!

This year has been way more simple for me!

Not too long ago my mother passed. Six months ago if someone had told me I’d be reacting this way I’d of said they were nuts! My mother and I didn’t have a healthy relationship at all in any area! She was one of my main abusers. But God!

You see, when she’d been placed in a nursing home and Hospice took over her care, she had days where her mind was clear and we’d have time to talk and laugh and make things right. I was able to hear the sweet words from her of ‘I’m sorry’! What a joy! And I hold fast to that!

I’m grateful for learning how to forgive her and all those who hurt me! Forgiving is freedom from being a victim and stepping into being an overcomer!

I’m realizing not only am I mourning her passing; I’m also mourning what I now know I’ll never have! I’ll never have a healthy mother daughter relationship. I must allow that dream to die.

But God! He gave me a sweet gift of those few days with my mother, before she passed, of who I believe was her core being before the demons of her own abuse took over her soul. I am now able to see her through a different lens, through a different set of glasses which enables me to extend grace and mercy to her.

With my mother’s passing I’m finding myself adjusting my sails a bit differently on this sea of life. I’m evaluating and reevaluating my current relationships. I’m seeing more clearly some areas of my life that I now know I must let go of: Those familiar belief systems that were put in place when I was raised in a very dysfunctional, abusive home. Those familiar thoughts that still plague my mind; that feel like falling back into a mound of warm, cushy pillows seemingly all safe and sound. But that is a false belief!

And it’s scary to address those lies from my past, to confront their limited mortality! And it’s my choice as to whether or not I wanta address them, to send them packing and scurrying into the night. It’s my choice if I wanta live in freedom or continue to live in the small sphere of life around me when in fact, when I do choose to let those lies go, when I do choose to expose the lies to the truth, then I will gain a larger sphere. I will gain truth! And the truth will set me free!

I know it’s a process. I know it takes time, lots of hard work and reflection as well as letting go!

So this Christmas I began a new tradition by making an honorary donation in my mother’s name to Broken Pieces No More, Inc for the work they do to help raise awareness of various forms of abuse, addiction as well as providing healthy healing options.

I’m also learning more to be kind to me and not expect so much!

Healing happens! Yet healing is messy!

If there were such a thing as a perfect Christmas it would one where all four of our children and their children along with the rest of our family were together to celebrate our savior’s birth. Until then I continue to pray for healing and His love to transform us all.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and happy holidays.

Feel free to contact BPNM at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502.

 

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Domestic Violence and winter months

 

As we enter into the winter and holiday season it is reasonable we’ll also begin to see the rise of more abuse cases become a reality. There are numerous reasons for this. Some may be due to the fact more people are cooped up inside during colder months. We also see some families struggling with Christmas whether it’s getting the whole family together with high unmet expectations or the lack of funds to provide those gifts everyone wants. Also, there are those jobs that fall off during the colder months. And as is often the case, there can be more get-togethers around the Christmas season where booze can be free-flowing which contributes to an increase in violent tendencies.

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As said well by a woman in a private message: I was a young mother with small children to raise. My husband was an alcoholic and often used his drinking to control and manipulate the family. If he started drinking then everyone walked on eggshells knowing that they had to watch their actions and what they said or he would go off! We were poor though I tried as hard as I could to make great memories for our two children. Winter was always so very hard for us. He’d hold up watching tv and drinking and I’d be so afraid of him exploding. When we had Christmas it was usually so scary for I did not know if any little thing would set him off and we’d end up being punished. Warmer weather meant he was out of the house more and I could breathe easier!

 

I too have experienced domestic violence and can relate to what she had to say. I remember those days when I was afraid to say the wrong thing or there would be an explosion. It is very hard to live in the lifestyle of abuse for it is cyclical. You go around trying to be ever so careful to not say or do the wrong thing then ….BAM! That evil person is back and your fear level just increased exponentially!  Stress is your constant companion. Your guts are all twisted up and you hurt all over!

So now, not only do you have to protect your children and yourself, you gotta make sure every item in the house is in its proper place, every can is turned just so, every towel is even, every speck of dust is gone and more or else! You also have to put your mask on and pretend all is well. And when he drags you off to your bedroom you try real hard to go to that safe place in your mind before he begins to rape you once again so hopefully, you won’t feel so much of the pain! As a parent, you try to absorb as much of the pain as possible to protect the children and you make yourself pretend to enjoy what’s happening to your body in your own home just to be able to survive another day!

And no matter what….you don’t resist, you don’t laugh inappropriately, you don’t bargain. You are compliant! You are a ‘good girl’! You are a pleasing wife! Or else! And you really don’t wanta find what the ‘or else’ could be, now do you?

Then the sweet phase of the cycle returns and all is calm for a bit but only on the surface. Because you know from experience that sooner rather than later the monster will awaken and you will once again be on guard for whatever is dealt to you. 

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Abuse sucks! No one deserves to be abused! NO One!! Yet, it happens daily, in our country, in our state, in our county, in our city and very possibly, in our own home! 

It’s very hard to reach out for help but I encourage you to do so! You do not have to suffer alone. Neither should your children! 

I pushed through it instead of leaving. Mainly I believe because I didn’t exactly know how to go about doing so. And also because I was scared to leave for I’d been told if I did, “I’ll hunt you down. I’ll make sure the kids are safe then I’ll kill you very slowly!”  How does one plan to leave an abusive relationship? Is there a ‘Leave Your Abusive Relationship for Dummies’ book? I don’t think so! 

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How are you coping with an abusive relationship? Have you reached a point where you’re ready to consider leaving? Do you know what to do to prepare?

We are here to help guide you to those who are equipped to escape. You deserve better!

We are here to listen!

 We at Broken Pieces No More Inc would love to hear from you. You can find us on social media…Instagram, Twitter or facebook or you can drop a message at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or send a letter to PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

 

 

#domesticviolenceawareness n mental health

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Have you ever sat out in the woods? I try to as often as I can for it brings my soul great relief and peace. I’ve had the wonderful opportunity of sitting there, pondering this or that, when suddenly I hear the plonk-plonk-plink-thud as an acorn has let go and falls to the waiting ground hitting first one branch then another. Or you hear a sound thinking it’s rain and turn to look behind you and your senses are flooded with the visual of a shower of falling leaves of various colors. What a sight to behold!

We all need some time to get away and recharge, renew; to examine those things that are stored up in our soul. But it seems to me in this day and age in which we live folks are so busy, yes even right here in our own little community.  When I sit and people watch I am amazed at how fast everyone seems to be rushing from point A to point B. I can’t help but wonder when, if ever, do they make time to slow down and unwind, recharge, renew?

When you are repeatedly beaten, raped, abused at will by a narcissist, whether as a child or an adult it will mess with your head….massively! Fear, anxiety, depression and more will try to haunt your everyday walk! That’s why it’s so important to find a good counselor and determine to do the work in order to heal.

When you have suffered any form of trauma it rewires your brain. It takes time, healthy counseling (and no, I do not believe all counseling is healthy), for me lots and lots of prayer and hard work to overcome that trauma twisted brain. Those of us who have been affected by various forms of abuse must realize that this is our reality. However, we do not have to remain in this state of mind! We can gain necessary healing by getting to the root of the problem then dealing with it by doing the work to heal.

We must start working towards that as stated in Matthew 15:13, any thing planted within us that is not of God must be yanked up to wither and die!

God did not plant that trauma/abuse in any of us so; we therefore, must allow Him to do His mighty work within us to help us pull those roots out! Expose the lies! Reveal the secrets! Declaw the monsters!

An example from Lisa (not her real name): He called me horrible names and raped me for years until one day I looked in the bathroom mirror, believing his lies, and decided there was no point in my living any longer. My kids would be better off in a foster home. As the tub was filling with hot water, I went and took ever pill I could find. Didn’t matter to me what it was. Then I found the sharpest knife I had and stripped my clothes off and climbed into the hot water. I guess the hot water and pills knocked me out pretty quick so I didn’t get the chance to slit my wrists. My sister found me and called 911. With her help I escaped and moved into a shelter. Now I know better. Now I know I am worthy! Now I am helping others find their worth!

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It takes time to rewire your brain from years of trauma. You can do it! Don’t give up! And don’t give in! You are so very worth the effort!

 

On Nov 8th Broken Pieces No More Inc will have a Family Fundraiser Chili Supper & Silent Auction at Rocky Hollow Athletic Club from 5:00-8:30. National Impressionist/Singer Kevin Adams will provide us with some incredible entertainment. Our board members will be on hand to share more about the vision and purpose of BPNM. There will be unique items to bid on while doing some early Christmas shopping. And great tasting food to enjoy!

You may contact us at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or follow us on face book for updates at Broken Pieces No More Inc. You can also catch us on the twitter at BPNM Inc. You can also drop us a line at PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502.

We’d so love to have you on our team.  Together we can ‘Spark the Change’!

 

#mentalhealthmatters & domestic violence

My husband and I along with a few friends have formed a nonprofit, Broken Pieces No More, Inc. This faith-based ministry was formed to help raise awareness of various forms of abuse and to provide healthy solutions for healing. When we were planning our 2nd child abuse awareness event back in April 2019 and I found a report stating Kentucky ranks #1 in our nation for substantiated child abuse cases I knew then I had to do something!

Growing up I experienced pretty much every form of abuse you can imagine, although I was never burnt with anything and for that I praise God! I was locked in a cold, dark celler for hours at a time! I was tied to my own bed, (why my bed I have not yet figured out!), where men and women took their pleasure from my little girl’s body. I was whipped with switches till blood ran down my legs or beaten with a belt however never leaving harsh marks because my perpetrator knew where to hit me!

I was pimped out by my mother and grandmother to men in the community for money to ‘help pay the light bill’. I was dedicated to satan at age 3; I was supposed to have been sacrificed at age 30. But God!

I used to believe the only reason I was born was to give men and women sexual pleasure! I believed a lie!

My mother, grandmother and an uncle were my three main abusers!

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On Oct. 17th we had our first annual domestic violence awareness event. Again eye-opening when I discovered in my research that Kentucky is ranked #9 in the nation for deaths among women in domestic violence!

We at Broken Pieces No More Inc want to thank Rocky Hollow Athletic Club so much for believing in what we are doing and helping with our event. They provided a warm and safe place for us to hold our 1st annual domestic violence awareness event. Thank you County Executive Judge Kelley for your heartfelt words of encouragement to all of us that it takes the love of Jesus to make a change!

A big thank you to National Impressionist/Singer Kevin Adams who entertained us with his special talent! When Elvis entered the building it was amazing! A special thank you to all the vendors, both craft and informational, who came out to stand with us in helping to make a difference. The various speakers in our program, the survivors who were brave enough to stand up and share their truth we thank you! Thank you to Somerset Community Mission for believing in our ministry and serving with us! To all who joined us…thank you so much! Together we can make a difference!

 

This still being October, which is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, it’s important we continue to get the word out that no one deserves to be abused! And please don’t forget, men are abused as well. There’s no excuse for that! We must all begin to ‘Spark the Change’ in our homes, our communities, our counties if we want to see lasting change spread across this great state! One person, man or woman, boy or girl, is one too many being abused!

I know from my own experience with d.v. that so many turned the other way. Maybe they didn’t believe me. Maybe they just couldn’t handle the truth. Maybe they too were experiencing their own form of d.v. There are many forms! I was never hit which still amazes me but I believe that was a God thing for I fear I might have shot someone!

I was, however, raped repeatedly! Money was a major issue often used as a bribe for me to perform better, do better or was simply withheld from me because ‘you don’t deserve anything’. Stalking was a major problem for me in d.v as my former husband had me followed, checked my odometer and often told me, “you don’t need to go anywhere cuz you’re just putting more wear and tear on the car”. The unspoken demand that everything be in its place and if not, there would be severe consequences! I gained personal insight into narcissism too. Years of wondering if ‘today would be the day’! Living with fear until it began to eat my insides up with constant worrying and concern and trying to gain enough courage to kill myself! I’m so thankful I did not do that! No, I wouldn’t wish any form of abuse on anyone!

There are many wonderful organizations in our area and beyond who work tirelessly to make a difference in the lives of those they work with and I applaud them. Even so, I believe that we can do more because the numbers beg to differ in that we have a problem of widespread abuse in our area. We can work together to help ‘Spark the Change’ in how we view our neighbors, our fellow citizens no matter what!

In all this I have learned to say ‘But God!’ Not just as a flippant statement but without Him I would not be who I am today! I am so very grateful He has helped me learn how to forgive those who abused my body, my soul! I am letting go and learning how to live a life of freedom and great peace! #dramanomore

BPNM will be having our first women’s group meeting on Tue, Nov 5th at 7:00-8:30 at Somerset Community Mission next to Big Lots. This group is open to all women who are searching for her own path, her purpose and to discover her passion. We hope you will come on out and join us! We believe there will be something for every woman! You can also look up our women’s group on facebook at Women Warriors Rising Up. Join us no matter where you live! We’re here to support one another!

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BPNM will be hosting our first fundraiser at Rocky Hollow Athletic Club, Somerset, Ky on Friday, Nov 8th from 5:00-8:30. We’ll be having a chili supper and silent auction. We are raising start-up funds to enable us to be more active both here and across our great state! ‘Come go with us as we take it to the streets’ and help ‘Spark the Change’! Please consider donating to our auction!

You may contact us at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or follow us on face book at Broken Pieces No More Inc.  Or you may drop a line or a donation to BPNM PO Box 1373, Somerset, Ky 42502.

We’d so love to have you on our team.

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#mentalhealth and my mother’s death

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In June we placed my mom under Hospice care. She’d developed two large blood clots, one in each lung. There was medicine she could have taken to help reduce those and extend her life but after talking with her, she was adamant that she did not want medicine. Her words, “I’m ready to go see Jesus and Tommy!” He was her husband who’d passed years ago. So I told them to leave her be!

When you’re the POA (Power of Attorney) for someone it’s a huge responsibility. Even though I’d rather have her around for years to come, I had to consider her wishes and quality of life. Not only was mom dealing with the effects of these blood clots but she also had dementia. She had good days and bad days.

However, in the beginning, when my husband and I would go visit her she had some really good ones. Days I will forever cherish! Visits I will be forever thankful for!

On one of those good days, she apologized to me for every bad thing that had ever happened in my life. She also apologized to my beloved for when she’d worked with an attorney to split us up in 1980. She often looked me with such love in her eyes and told me, “You sure are beautiful!” Words I’d never heard growing up.

We also talked about the books I’m writing. She’d read the first one, Secrets in the Hollers. Book two, Secrets Exposed, is soon to be released. Several times she told me, “You know, don’t you, that your books are going to help many people heal from what they had to live through!

 

 

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Again, wow! Those words were like a soothing balm to my wounded soul because all I’d heard growing up and into adulthood from my mother was how worthless and sorry I was. How I’d never amount to anything. Now I know those were lies spoken by the enemy through my mother!

When she apologized to my husband, she looked at him sincerely and told him how sorry she was for interfering in our marriage and causing so much pain but she couldn’t stand the thought of him ‘taking my baby away’. It was so good and so healing to hear her say those words. I am thankful that God has helped me walk this path finding that I am able, with His help, of forgiving others!

During her last week on earth, I found out that she had a number of documented different personalities. I’ve prayed about whether or not to share this information but if it can help one person, one family, to overcome mental illness then it’s worth it. Many years ago when I first began my own healing journey I was documented to having at least 16. It’s not prideful that I share that but truth!

And why did both my mother and I have multiple personalities?

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Because of the horrific trauma, we both suffered in childhood from terrible ongoing child abuse! I have traced abuse back on my mother’s and father’s side at least for four/five generations! Abuse is a generational curse! But it can be broken! I have and you can too!

It angers me when I hear others say things like, well, we just didn’t want anyone to know; or, you know, it just is how we are; or other hogwash! Well, go on! Live life in an abusive state. Don’t step up and step out to make healthier decisions. Wait! I guess that sounds a bit harsh! Well, shoot! Truly we’re either part of the problem or the solution. I’ve decided I want to be part of the solution which means shining a spotlight on the horrors of abuse! Even if I have to do so alone! One of those ways I do so is in my writings and through the non-profit, we have formed!

On Oct 17th Broken Pieces No More, Inc, a faith-based, not for profit will be hosting our first annual event to help raise awareness of domestic violence, Hope for All, at Rocky Hollow in Somerset, Ky. No one deserves to be abused.

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We are helping to raise awareness on various forms of abuse and provide direction for healthy choices of healing. We will have vendors who will be selling items as well as providing information. National Impressionist/Singer Kevin Adams will provide entertainment from 5:30-7:00. Our program will be held from 7:00-8:30. Mayor Keck and County Judge Kelley will be sharing encouraging words and we’ll have a demonstration from East West Karata for women’s safety! And more!

Feel free to contact us: brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or follow us on facebook: Broken Pieces No More Inc where we post regular updates. You can also follow my blog: pamelarichardswoodall.com

#Grievinghurts : The Loss of a Daughter’s Dream Mother

 

Recently, my husband and I placed my mother under Hospice care. That was a hard decision! My mother and I have had a perilous relationship all my life. We never connected in a healthy mother-daughter relationship which has caused me to repeat many of those unhealthy learned behaviors. I’m thankful for those in my life and my relationship with Jesus for helping me see the need to create healthy behaviors and boundaries, and to quickly forgive! Nope…not always easy but necessary!

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These past weeks as I’ve watched this woman who carried me in her womb and gave birth to me deteriorate, weaken, fall many times, retreat to her childhood, shrink back in morbid fear from whatever demons may be haunting her….I’ve realized I’ve been given a precious gift. And I grabbed it with both hands.

I have traced child abuse back five generations on both sides of my family. Abuse has been a generational curse but for me, it has stopped. I’ve had to do a lot of forgiving but it’s necessary if I am to gain healing and freedom. I chose to forgive my mother which has also led me to forgive her mother and even her mother for not knowing how to bestow on each daughter, in turn, healthy nurturing a mother should be able to willingly do.

We become what we are taught in our childhood whether good or bad. When we are children it is never our fault for the bad things that happen. But when we become an adult, it is our responsibility to seek our Father’s healing through prayer, studying the Word, and seeking godly counselors with an on purpose determination to overcome the lies of the enemy to become the man or woman God designed us to be.

I found this article in Psychology Today about the wounds daughters receive when the mother-daughter relationship is unhealthy.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201304/daughters-unloving-mothers-7-common-wounds

We as mothers do have the ability to turn things around. It is our responsibility to gain healing for ourselves plus teach our daughters and granddaughters how wonderfully special they are! It’s time to stop the cycle of teaching them they are worthless or stupid and will never amount to anything and so much worse! Those are lies from the enemy! Search the Word of God to gain His truth of what He says about you and your children!

For the past several weeks when we’ve visited my mom we’ve been blessed with some good visits: Not all visits have been good. When she’s been alert, she has given us a very special gift! She has apologized to my beloved husband and myself for the hurts she’s caused in our life!

(There have been many wounds that have created a deep chasm down through the fabric of time that can never be changed nor the consequences for those actions. But we learn what we can to grow into a better person and make the choice to not repeat the cycle.)

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That for me is huge!! I view these conversations as a sweet gift from God to redeem the past and apply the balm of Gilead to those wounds my soul has carried for many years. And healing my mother’s soul!

I have no idea when she will pass. Doctors say it could happen today or several months from now. She has two large blood clots in her lungs. She’s beginning to eat less and falls frequently. It hurts my heart to see her having to live this way but I know God’s got it! I’m thankful for the blessings I’ve been given. Doesn’t mean it hurts less for I still have a lot of emotional pain but I’m learning to let go and give it to Him! And I am grateful for every visit I get with her especially when she’s alert and we can laugh and enjoy being together!

I’ve made her funeral plans. I know some may think that morbid but I’d rather do it now when there’s less stress than wait till the time is here when the stress will be greater. She says she’s ready to go and is leaving the arrangements up to my husband and me. It will be a sweet home-going! I plan to speak at her home-doing celebration to share the positive things about her and to share also that mental health is so very important!

When you grow up hearing such ugly words from your mother plus all the other abuses, it rips your soul especially from a mother to a daughter. But when you do receive the opportunity to hear your mother look you squarely in the eye and say, “I am sorry I hurt you!” Or, “You are so beautiful!” Or, “I’m so proud of you!” Or, “I know your books are going to help so many people!” It makes your soul gain deep inner healing and soar as it was meant to be!

 

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My momma and me

I am praying for the relationship you have with your mother, whether she’s alive or passed, whether you’re a son or daughter! It matters! I care! May God through His precious Son, Jesus Christ, touch your soul in a deep way to bring healing!

Please feel to follow us in our new group, Broken Pieces No More, on facebook.

I’d love to hear your story! You can reach me at PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42501 or brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com

No one should ever have to walk alone with all the hurt and sorrow!

 

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