3 Ways for Important Self-care

Don’t forget to take care of yourself!

Learning to love myself has been a great challenge for I was taught from birth I was worthless and unloved and unlovable!

Ahhh…but I am discovering what a lier all those folks were! However I’ve also discovered it’s so much easier to listen to and believe those lies than to expel them and believe God’s truth about who I am!

Chances are the same holds true for you!

I often ponder on why we’re wired that way…why does it seem easier, less hard work, simpler to take in, absorb, allow those lies to become a part of our innermost being?

Maybe one reason is that if we are not taught from birth of our worth then we will have a stronger perpensity of believing those lies. And seemingly those lies are always sprinkled with a bit of sugar, a smidge of truth that will help the vile taste of the core lies go down better.

But we do not live in a Mary Poppins kinda world. The world in qhich we live in today is full of rage and hate and longing! Yes I believe we’re all, each and every one of us, are all longing just to be loved and accepted!

Accepted in the beloved! Loved for who we really are deep down on the inside we may carey a different belief.

But wait….if you knew the real me you might not like who I really am. If you knew just how frequently I fight fear or unworthiness or self doubt or those dark thoughts of suicide you probably would never wanta talk to me again.

So I’ll throw on my pretty, happy mask and I’ll paint myself up just so you’ll accept me and I’ll buy the push up bra and I’ll have my skin baked to a golden glow and I’ll get many of my body parts pierced or tattooed and so on and so on!! (Guys do the same thing!)

But I digress….

I’m learning to love and appreciate my own quirkiness. I can’t help it if you don’t! That’s on you not me!

I need to love and appreciate me so I can rise up and be what I’ve been called to be. Same as you do!

How can we truly learn to love others if we first don’t love our self!?!

3 Ways I’m Learning to Love Me

1. Listen to my inner messages

I’ve come to realize there’s no way I’d speak to another person as I have myself! So I’m learning to catch these self defeating words quicker and replace the negative with a more positive, truthful message!

2. Forgive Me Quicker

Oh gracious this is a hard one for me!!

I’m still punishing myself over something that happened almost 40 years ago. I know its wrong but have felt I needed to do this!

The Word tells us to be quick to forgive. Well I’m learning that applies to me the same as anyone else!

3. Do Something Daily for Me

Doesn’t need to cost anything nor take a lot of time. It is important that I chose on purpose to daily show my inner self, the little girl within, that I value who I am!

Maybe I take my first hot cup of coffee outside and breath in the new morning.

Maybe I take an afternoon nap.

Maybe I indulge myself with a good chocolate treat.

Maybe I linger longer in a warm hug from my beloved!

Whatever it may be I need to do one thing for me daily!

I encourage you to begin today learning to love and appreciate you! You are worth it and so very important!

I’d love to hear your story!

Drop me a line here.

You can also follow me on Facebook at: Author Pamela Richards-Woodall

Have a wonderful, love filled day!

This is my story of how hope wins!

Rape: It is real!

Trigger Warning!!!

I had a dream last night about rape!

Not of me being raped but women I know, have known since high school and those who went to school with my son and other women I know.

It was a very disturbing dream!

I hate these kinds of dreams for to me there is no point in them except the enemy messing with my sleep; however, the more I’ve pondered on this subject this morning the more I wonder if I’m to share my words…again.

I’ve been criticized for sharing too much, for being so open yet I know God has called me to be transparent of what I’ve experienced in hopes of showing others who may have suffered similar experiences that there is hope in Him!

Rape is sexual intercourse, either with the man’s penis or some object inserted into the victim, against the other person’s will!

With regard to my experiences in my childhood I’ve used the words assault, molested, violated but today let’s call it what it really is/was: RAPE!!!

And rape can be carried out by women!

Rape is having some object, human or not, forced inside any of your openings against your will!

Rape is wrong!

Rape can happen to little girls and boys, women and men!

I truly can’t count the times I’ve been raped from before I did not have memories up to my adulthood! It was wrong!

Rape is about the rapist being a bully!
Rape is about the rapist humiliating the one being raped!
Rape is about the rapist needing the power over another!

Rape is wrong!!

Some of my rapists are dead and gone, others are not!

In my dream I had a tazer like object but when I touched these people who were raping they just dissolved! How cool is that!!!

It has taken boat loads of prayers, tears, hard work and quality counselors to help me get past my former horrific experiences! I praise God He has me in the palm of His hand. I don’t know why I had to go through what I did but I can guarantee you if it was to help one person I will share my story anywhere I can!

You can heal from rape, from abuse!

You must be willing to fight the fight to overcome and rise above it!

I share a lot of these experiences in my book, Secrets in the Hollers, as well as the new one, Secrets Exposed!

It is high time to tell the secrets!

I hope you will stand with me in stating that there should be #secretsnomore !

I’d love to hear your story!

You are not alone and someone does truly care about you!

I am a #warriorrisingup !!!

Check our my facebook page at: Author Pamela Richards Woodall

I am available for speaking engagements and training opportunities working to help heal the hurting from various abusive situations!

You do not have to bear the pain alone!

You are worthy!

You….yes you…are such a beautiful individual!!

You have purpose and value!

You have a great destiny!

You are precious in His eyes!

You were born with a purpose, a reason!

There is One who longs to walk with you!

He can give you peace in a chaotic world!

His sweet love!

Surrender.

No fear.

Purposeful.

Changes.

Great love.

In my first book I share trauma from my childhood that really messed me up for years.

I am now into some very determined and deep healing!

I’ve fought depression…. anxiety….suicidal thoughts and much more. I refuse to allow those who decided to steal my innocence the power to keep me all cowered down in shame!

In my first book I share how I’ve learned to overcome many pains from my past.

I have them for sale or you may purchase from Amazon Kindle.

You are beautiful!

You are loved!

Don’t let others determine your progress!

I have fought and continue to fight my own personal demons though I know I am walking in a healthier path now more than ever! I pray and hope the same for you!

Enjoy today!

You deserve the very best you you can be!

You are fan-tabulous!

Forgiving myself has been and continues to be the hardest but I am determined to do so!

Yes, you are indeed enough!!

I’d love to hear your story!

I’m also available for speaking opportunities to share my incredible story of hope in creating a life of happiness after horrific abuse!

Give me a holler!!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

On facebook….

Author Pamela Richards-Woodall

Proceeds from my Book goes to Help the Hurting

Have you gotten your copy yet?

Yesterday I was honored to present our local Sexual Assault Resource Center at Adanta a copy of my book.

It is a great resource for any who work with children and adults especially when dealing with dysfunctional and abusive issues!

So appreciate these ladies and all they do to help those who are hurting.

If you or someone you know has been or is being sexually assaulted please seek help! You do not have to live with shame and guilt any longer! You do deserve to be happy and live a healthy life!

Also if you or someone you know could benefit from reading my story on how I learned to overcome abuse they are available through Oak Tree Publishing, at oaktreepub@yahoo.com. Or if you have an e-reader my book is also available on Amazon kindle.

Part of the proceeds from the sale of my books will be matched by Oak Tree Publishing which all funds then goes toward I Am a Voice for the Voiceless. This is a nonprofit we have started to reach out to assist those who are battling addiction, abuse amd poverty.

Together we can help make a difference right here in our hometown!

Kentucky is ranked #2 in substainted cases of child abuse in the nation! I don’t know about you but that’s not a stat I’m proud of!

Let’s work together to make a difference in the lives of our precious children!

I am a #voiceforthevoiceless !

#Kentuckyproud

#ourchildrenareprecious

#unitewithv4vl

Writing is My Dream! What’s Yours?

I #amwriting for it soothes my soul and calms the savage beast in me that threatens to rise up out of my being and consume all within its path…..or so it seems.

Writing clears my head and helps me stay focused. Writing helps to get the words outta my head and on to paper…yes I still do the old fashion writing when I journal…but mainly use my laptop. Writing has been for many years, my friend!

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It is so wonderfully exciting to have my first book published and on Amazon Kindle.

 

Of course I want you to buy my book and read it for it is an amazing story about hope and overcoming much adversity of the past! I also believe this book is a wonderful resource for any counselor, teacher, doctor, etc to have in their personal library. Why? Because this book is written based on a true story: Mine!

This book offers hope and healing! It offers those who have been effected by abuse in any form a way to rise up out of the deep, dark hole so many times we find ourselves in to where we can begin to see the light of day, a ray of sunshine, a glimmer of hope! Hope! It’s what the world needs more of!

Mainly I want you to know to NEVER give up on your dream no matter what it is! I’ve been fighting for mine for many years and now I see the reality of my book in paperback and on Kindle! That is so amazing!!

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You have within you a dream!
What is it? Do you know?

I’d love to hear from you and help you discover what your dream is!

Give me a holler sometime. Maybe we can meet for a cup of coffee or over a cyber cup!

Have a sweet evening and remember to dream! They do come true!

I can’t wait to hear your dream!

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Child Abuser: Compassion or Death

Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me!

I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t considering all I’ve overcome.

The deal is when I hear or read of a horrific story of child abuse my first thought is, “Are all those children now in a safe place receiving proper care and love?”

Then my next thought is, “Oh my goodness, does the abuser know how to plug into Jesus? Has anyone shown him or her compassion?”

Now granted I sure didn’t used to feel this way! I used to scream “hang that sorry-good-for-nothing-scum-bag!!”

If anyone abused an innocent child they deserved the hottest hell in my opinion!

That’s how I used to feel!

I still believe very strongly they should receive the maximum punishment. Now, I also believe that someone should present them the opportunity to repent and make their life right with God.

Yes, I’m fully aware not everyone will share my opinion and that’s okay. I don’t expect that. I’m not really expecting anything.

I just know amazing grace saved me from a big ole boat load of crap I’ve done. No doubt that same amazing grace can save and forgive a child abuser!

That’s my prayer anyway!

Dreams Do Come True! Never Stop Dreaming!

For me, there’s something magical-feeling when I reach a goal, when I reach a milestone! This is a huge one for me! Seeing this book in print and also on Amazon Kindle! Dreams do come true!

There’s been a lot of hard work that has gone into this project. It took me almost three years to write the this book which is a work of fiction based on a true story: Mine! It took a lot of energy to write my truth for I’ve been taught from the beginning of my time that I was to never tell the secrets or I’d get in bad trouble! And, “Do you want me to hurt your mommy like this? Well, if you tell that’s what will happen!”  These words were spoken to me from my early childhood on by one of my main perpetrators!

Now I tell my truth wherever a door is opened to do so! I am no longer ashamed of my truth! I also realize so many others are living with their shame because no one has yet come along side them to offer a voice to help bring hope and healing.

I first published it under Tate Publishing which is now out of business so when you search on Amazon disregard the first book. You’ll know which one it is cuz someone jacked the price up super high! We are working to have the old one deleted.

I decided to rewrite and republish this book, which is the first in a three part series, on the secrets that went on behind my closed doors dealing with various forms of abuse. Book two, Secrets Exposed, will be released by fall 2018. My wonderful husband and I formed our own publishing company, Oak Tree Publishing Companyand I am so pleased with the finished product.

Sandy Hawk of @GoodHopeDesigns created the beautiful cover. She did a great job!! It is a very special picture for me as it’s of my aunt and uncles home where I gained a lot of healing!

 

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This version could easily be used as a study or reference book on childhood abuse as I included more information in this rewrite pertaining to the cycle of generational abuse as I’ve traced mine back for several generations on both sides of my family in some degree or other. I also share some of the methods that helped me gain the healing and freedom I have found. Hope is possible after abuse!

It hasn’t been that long ago I was so terrible resentful and angry that I had gone through what I did as a child then on into my adult life. God is in control so why didn’t He stop it? He knew what was gonna happen!

Well, I have gained more healing and have a fresh perspective now.

Now I am so thankful for what I went through, what I experienced! If I hadn’t of then I couldn’t be a strong voice for those who haven’t yet obtained their voice.

A portion of all my book sales will go towards our nonprofit, I Am a Voice for the Voiceless, or V4VL for short!

V4VL will focus on three areas:

Liberty’s Hope-offers solutions for those facing addictions in their life;

Jenny’s Grace-provides help and hope to any who have suffered or are suffering from abusive situations and

Elijah’s Love-assists those who are in poverty or homelessness conditions.

My publisher, Oak Tree, will match all funds from the sale of my books which goes to V4VL! We are so excited about this partnership!

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I look forward to hearing from you! I’d love to hear your story!

You can follow me on here on my blog or on twitter @pamelajwoodall or facebook at: Author Pamela Richards Woodall. You can also email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Never give up on your dreams! They were given to you for a reason.

Dream on!

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Healing Child Abuse and the Mother

She carried me in her womb for nine months and raised me until I left home. That doesn’t mean she was a good mother. Maybe she did the best she could though!

Just as there is a dash on our tombstone between our birth and death there should be a dash or some such marker from our birth until we leave home.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us God knew us before He even formed us in our mother’s womb. I used to hate that scripture because I thought it meant that God had placed me where He had, with the mother I have, on purpose knowing what would happen to me before it did. I used to think He’d planned for me to be hurt all along. That was a lie from the devil!

And the answer is ‘yes’ He did know.

I have no clue why God allowed the abuse in my life. I used to demand to know. Now I am thankful I just lived through it as sane and as healed as I am because I now know I could be dead or in an insane asylum.

My mother told me some years ago, “Well you’re no better off than I am so why shouldn’t you have been abused!” Wow…

After reading some letters she wrote to her siblings I now know just a bit of the abuse she had to endure and I know her own mother had endured abuse as well.

My husband and I went to see my mom today. She’s in a nursing home. She has started down the path of Alzheimer’s and it hurts my heart.

She and I have never had the mother / daughter relationship I so craved and still miss. I’ve learned how to glean that particular desire to be cared for and filled from God. His word tells us He is our momma and poppa as we need and right now my need of Him is to be close to me. Today it’s heavy!

Not only did God know me before He formed me; He knew that I would experience much horrific child abuse. He knew that for many years I’d battle with my mother for her part in all my pain and He knew I’d draw close to Him for my healing and learn how to release all the hurts, all the memories to Him so I could learn how to forgive my mother.

So today we visit her. She still looks the same but her mind is not the same at all. She does remember me which I’m very thankful for.

She frequently asked to go home, to the ole home place yet, she doesn’t seem to remember I too grew up there. She doesn’t remember that there’s now no home to go back to because someone burnt it down years ago.

Sometimes it scares me when she gets that look in her eyes as she demands to get out and go home. I can not help her and pray for peace over her mind.

I am so thankful God helped me to let the pain and hate and fear, of my childhood especially pertaining to my mom, go and be healed!

The old rock foundation is all that’s left standing of the home place yet time has gone on and healing has taken place in my soul.

I’m so thankful I’m now strong enough to love on her in her last years!

Everyone deserves love!

Everyone!

Who are you? 3 Ways to Rewire Your Brain.

Who are you?!?

Not what you do.

Not who your parents are.

Not who you hang out with.

Not who you’re married to.

Not what you like to do.

Who are you?

Now maybe you’ve got it down pat and know without a doubt who you are! Super great! I celebrate with and for you!

For me, it’s taken me years to realize I have been identifying with a false self, a self those in my family of origin tried to fit on me that was developed out of dysfunction and mental illness.

Now, here today I am learning who I am!

I am shaking off those false beliefs and wrapping myself in Truth! It takes time and practice but I am choosing on purpose to erase those false lies that have been on a continual loop in my mind all these years with a new vibrant, life giving message.

If I don’t make the decision to change the message I constantly hear I will never heal and become the vibrant woman I was meant to be.

You can too!

How?

1. Determine if the message, the words you hear in your head, are life giving or if instead, they make you feel dark and depressed.

You have the power to make a decision to change them so You hear life and not death!

2. Learn to catch those messages quickly and hit the ‘stop’ button in your mind!

The sooner you begin to recognize negative messages and refuse to allow them access to your mind the sooner you’ll have a healthier you!

3. Replace all negative messages with positive ones.

For me this has been the hardest cuz I’ve been so used to listening to the negative ones. Plus its just always been easier to identify with lies instead of fighting them with Truth! I didn’t feel worthy of the Truth!

However, I’m gaining strength in this area as I am now learning to write positive things about myself on sticky notes or my white board so I read them Out Loud frequently. My brain needs to hear my Truth often in order to rewire my thinking process of myself.

You can do this too!

I have faith in you!

You are bright and shinning!

You are valuable and have great worth!

You have great purpose!!

Have a wonderful day!

I’d love to hear how you’re doing!