#mentalhealthmatters

It’s really early morning…I doubt even the chickens are up yet. Woke up so got up and decided to be productive. For several months now I have been bout as tired when I woke up as when I went to bed. Not good!

I discovered something this week when I went in for a checkup. I more than likely am dealing with sleep apnea. I wake myself up snoring a lot, even wake my precious husband but he is ever so gracious and doesn’t tease me about it! So I’ll be going to a sleep specialist to determine the best method of care. I do not want to have to wear a face mask but I do also want to enjoy a full night’s rest and sleep. I can’t imagine what that would feel like.

How many of us know what we should do but for one reason or the other we opt to not do so?

We wait. And wait. And wait. Hoping things will get better on their own than when it gets serious we decided, well, maybe we should go to the doctor or mechanic or dentist! By then it may end up costing us a small fortune to have the situation fixed or be too late. When if we’d have gone to the doctor or mechanic or dentist in the first place, in the beginning, the problem would be over with and our bank account wouldn’t be depleted.

Why do we wait?

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I dare say the same can be said of our mental health. Sadly, in our society, there is such a negative stigma on mental health that we are seemingly afraid to discuss this very important issue almost as if it’s some sort of catchin’ disease. Hogwash!

It’s like no one wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room. If we had cancer or chronic pain or a broken bone, I’ve no doubt there would be those who would want to help, bring food, encourage us and more. Not so with a mental issue.

Every one of us deals with mental issues because we live in a sin-filled world and there’s just junk that is always going on around us. That’s the way God created us for we are a triune being: spirit, soul and body! Our soul, which is our mind, will and emotions, is where we deal with those issues. And our Heavenly Poppa longs to see us blessed abundantly, John 10:10 in all areas! He desires for us to live happy and stress-free. 3 John 1:2 tells us that God would have us to be in good health even as our soul prospers. For that to happen, we must examine mental health and all it entails!

The elephant in the room needs to be addressed.

I’ve dealt with some form or issue all my life. For most of my life, I’ve felt ashamed because I’ve dealt with a mental issue. How defeating is that? If I had a broken leg I’d be all over making sure I took good care of myself. Why then do we as a society seem to cast others aside when we suspect they have something wrong in the head? How wrong is that?! And how so very sad!

(I used Ky statistics because that’s where I live.) According to the 2018 the annual report at Americas Health Rankings (www.americashealthrankings.org) in Kentucky, poor mental health days are more common in women (4.3 days) compared with men (3.1 days). And younger adults aged 18-44 had (4.2 days) poor mental health days. Yes, I’d say it’s needful to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

I challenge you to begin addressing your own mental health.

What are you doing to improve your mental health?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Begin today doing something fun just for you.

I am learning to sketch. This is for my personal enjoyment.

You can begin today taking a 10 minute stroll around your neighborhood. I love gettin out in the woods by our home.

Form a new hobby…something you enjoy!

2. Learn to be present

That means no more zoning out when things or emotions get tough. Ya gotta feel it before you can heal it! That’s a sucky saying but it packs a wallop of truth too! Learning to be present in pain and good times means more healing and loads of growth! I have discovered journaling helps me to process during these times.

3. Be kind to yourself

Oh goodness..this one has been hard for me. I grew up hearing all the negative garbage bout how I’d never amount to anything…bout how lazy and useless I was…how they wished I’d never of been born…of how I was only born to give men and women sexual pleasure and so much more horrid junk.

Now, though, now I know those were a pack of lies!

I am learning to rock my life! I am learning how to step into the calling God has placed on my life! I am learning to love myself…if I can’t love me then I most assuredly can’t love my neighbor which is a commandment! Mark 12:31 “The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

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Today I encourage you to begin your own mental health renewal! Why? It’s simple! Because you are so worth it.

I’d love to hear what you’re doing for you today! Drop me a line!

You can email me at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or drop a line here!

Together we can make a difference with our mental health!

Have a blessed day!

Not always a Happy Father’s Day for All

Today is Fathers Day and many are celebrating with great memories of kind and loving fathers.
And that is awesome!

However, not all of us have those sweet memories to fall back on nor a healthy relationship with our father.

Sadly there are those of us who have memories of a mean, uncaring father. Experiences of an abusive father who believed it was his job to teach his child about sex. Memories of ugly words being flung at our tender young soul that still haunt and defile us….from our father.

I applaud all those who have sweet memories of their father. Personally I have no clue what a healthy father-daughter relationship would even look like!

I’m so very thankful I’ve finally reached a point of realizing how very much God longs to be my father and even my mother! He’s a good, good father!

I’m so grateful God has been so patient with me as I’m learning more and more to trust Him! He’s a kind and loving Father!

Today I also pray for those fathers who’s adult children have made the choice to not be in their fathers lives. I know how deeply it hurts fathers!

I pray for my father and continue to lift him up to the Father. I pray my father seeks forgiveness before it’s too late!

I have forgiven my dad. It certainly wasn’t easy but very necessary! And honestly there are still those days my emotions rise up causing me to wanta squish him like a wad of paper.
But I let go and trust God for His healing!

This year instead of focusing on what I never had and focusing on the devastating loss, I am choosing to focus on the positive.

There are many men in my life who demonstrate what it is like to be a healthy father including my own husband! I am choosing to see the positive.

I’m also continuing to explore this new relationship with my Abba God as my father! He will never leave me nor forsake me! And He loves me greatly cuz I’m His favorite! lol

Rawness of Emotions & Healing

 

She knew she was playing with fire but she so desperately wanted to step over the edge, over to the other side. Surely there it’d be quieter. Surely there it’d be less colorful, less noisy. Surely there it’d be less demanding. Surely, right?!

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Emotions, dark and churning, swirled deep within her being. She longed to bring them out in the open to examine them but figured most folks would chastise her for doing so, for even wanting to do so. She brushed her long wavy sun-kissed hair behind her ear so she could have a clear view of what was before her.

It seemed to her that there were huge boulders placed before her path to be used as stepping stones but oh, could she really step from one to the next without falling. Falling down in the deep, dark abyss. She did not think so. Frozen! She felt frozen in place with the fear of making a decision to take the next step.

But nobody seemed to listen or for that even cared! They pushed her forward, harder. Make a decision they screamed loud and long in her ear! Hurry up! Do this! No, do that!

No one seemed to hear her when she told them she couldn’t take anymore! When she told them how very tired she was of trying so hard to hold all their words inside her being, of trying so hard to do all she could to keep everybody happy. She was so very tired!

The rawness she felt had silently made its way to the top of her soul where it was now running over like the hot tears that rolled down her cheeks and dripped off her chin. But there was no one to wipe them away. No one to catch her tears. No one.

Rawness is so scary for most everyone. They can talk about it as long as it pertains to someone else, someone else so they don’t have to look at it. Or when that someone is in a story far away or on television. When rawness is presented to another they often turn away for they cannot fully look in the face of rawness and not cringe.

Everyone will at some point feel the rawness. Many cannot face their own rawness but face it we must if we are going to grow and become the man or woman God has destined us to be. You see, facing the rawness, to me, means gettin’ real, gettin’ nakked! It simply means getting real enough with yourself to uncover what has caused any wounds whether they be super minor or larger than the Milky Way! Each person’s issues are theirs and should not be compared to another’s. And each person needs to be able to heal at his or her ability, the method for your healing might not work for another. We are all made uniquely and we’re made in His image. God never wanted any of us to hurt. Sadly that does happen.

The good news is that you can overcome any rawness, any pain, you may be facing in your life. It takes hard work to feel the feelings but without feeling it then healing the pain may not happen. I firmly believe we all could use a mental health checkup just like we get a physical. Our mental health is so intricately connected with our physical health.

 

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I encourage you to be brave and face any rawness in your own life. One step at a time just like eating the apple one bite at a time. You can do it. Besides, you are worth the effort! Healing hurts but oh my goodness, the thought of staying stuck in that rut is motivation to make the decision to grab hold of God and gain that sweet healing! Find friends who will help you walk this path. Doing so alone is super hard!

Remember in Matthew 19:26  (NKJV) But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

How do you deal with the rawness on your healing path?

We’d love to hear from you.

Feel free to email us at brokenpiecesnomore@gmail.com or drop a letter to PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

Remember, healing happens!

#secretsnomore

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Listening but Not Hearing #nomoresecrets

I tried to tell but no one would listen!

I tried to make some noise to get their attention but they all seemed too busy to hear!

I tried to but it never seemed to be enough!

I tried.

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And when I did make a decision, when I did decide I’d had enough they began to listen.

Then they decided to not hear the truth, my truth, and they listened with tainted ears.

When I finally told they called me a lier!

When I finally decided I could no longer stay they said I was wrong!

When I finally gained enough courage to walk away they said I was a coward!

They did not know my truth!

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I’ve no doubt my truth is different from your truth! Is that okay? I’m not so sure but I know you’ll need to live with your truth the best you can. I will certainly live with mine!

And my truth has #secretsnomore !

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#rape #abortion Now #secretsnomore

Triggers: rape, abortion and child abuse

We all have secrets.

I’ve learned if those secrets aren’t told, if they’re not allowed to be released then our body and mind will become infected! It’s been proven that many of our physical issues can be traced back to our holding onto secrets.

Secrets are poison!

I recently posted 3 physical areas I fought to overcome due to many years of childhood trauma. There is a vital connection.

I’m learning the freedom of telling my #secrets though not everyone is able to do so.

That’s one reason I am a #voiceforthevoiceless because not everyone has yet found his or her voice.

And not always is it easy for me to share my secrets. When I share it makes me very vunerable; however, I know how vitally important it is to speak the truth!

#Truth brings healing and freedom and a deep compassion for others who are hurting.

But it’s not all fun and good vibes! I get hate mail through emails and message on social media but I figure that’s just a few obstacles in my path.

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I woke up this morning from a dream where I was talking out loud and weeping. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t get the dream outta my consciousness so I just got up and poured my first cup of steaming hot coffee of the day.

In the dream I was a young teenager. I was standing in the principle’s office at my high school looking at a lot of fellow students through a large glass window while holding the desk microphone talking. And I was crying.

I woke up saying, “All I ever wanted was a mom to love me and accept me just as I am!”

In the dream as I’m emotionally talking suddenly the door opens and a young teen girl with long blonde hair comes towards me saying, “You have to stop talking now! You’re causing a lot of trouble!”

(No clue the importance of hair color but it was a strong image.)

This young girl was reaching towards me trying to take the Mic away from me telling me that I had to “be quiet!”

“You’re telling too much! You’ve gotta be quiet! You’ve shared too many things!”

But somehow I knew I couldn’t be quiet any longer! I had to tell my truth!

You see not long before this event I’d been raped at the football field and ended up pregnant. My mother convinced the doctor that I needed an abortion otherwise I’d go crazy and hurt myself or the baby! So they make this plan and in a few weeks I’m no longer pregnant.

I’d tried ever so hard to protect my unborn babe. My mom knew I was pregnant before I ever told her. Yet still I desperately tried to protect my baby.

The day arrived when she drove me to another city where I was scheduled to get my abortion. I was so scared but had been taught to obey whatever my mother said no matter what!

There was severe punishment if I didn’t obey.

My name was called and I was taken to an office where a well dressed woman talked to me about the “blob of flesh” they needed to remove. Not one time did she refer to the “blob” as a baby!

I was so confused and very scared! Moments later a nurse comes in to lead me down the hallway to an exam room. She has me to undress then lay on the exam table then gives me a shot.

In a short time a man in a white coat comes in and has me to put my feet in the stirrups at the foot of the exam table. I’m not sure what he’s doing but the most excruiting pain hits my abdomen. I cry out!

He tells me, not too nicely, “Just be still. It’ll be over soon!”

The pain was horrific!

I hear a vacuum like sound then a few minutes later a number of plopping sounds like something being dropped in a bucket of liquid.

It didn’t take long. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse tells me to get dressed. As I’m leaving the room I stumble over something. I look down and there on the floor at the end of the exam table is a five gallon bucket half filled with bloody looking blobs. I almost vomit!

My baby had ended up torn apart retchedly disposed of in a bucket of other babies torn apart and murdered!

I was sixteen years old.

That baby would now be 43 years old!

It’s taken a great deal of counseling, massive amounts of prayer, many sleepless nights, drugs, alcohol and more trying to move past the deep intense pain of what I’d done.

Now I have peace…oh not because of what I did but because I know God has forgiven me! It’s taken a lot for me to learn to let it go, to forgive myself and to use the horrible thing I did to hopefully help someone else!

If you’ve had an abortion there is forgiveness! And there can be peace.

I am praying for you!

I’m here to listen to your story.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

I keep #secretsnomore !

She sat hunched over on the tattered couch over in the corner. Maybe if she scrunched herself really hard into the soft cushions she could soon squirm down into the fabric and disappear.

Her stomach hurt from the stress and fear, groaned at the pressure of needing to talk, to share her story. Her throat was dry and she feared she’d cough which would give away that she was indeed present, here, sitting in this room, this office.

Oh she dared not look up, not to raise her head for then they surely would see the wetness that dared to leak down her face and drip silently off her quivering chin.

No! She must continue to remain strong, tough, not give in to the pleading questions asked of her! She must not allow herself to hear the compassion in the voice! She must keep her walls up for her own protection!

But she was ever weakening! She felt her resolve slipping and knew the end was near!

Gathering all her remaining energy around her she slowly lifted up her tear stained face and dates look at the old wrinkly man sitting behind the large desk.

With quivering voice she said, “Yes! That is the man who repeatedly held me down and did horrible, mean things to me!”

Then she faded away into her nothingness!

#secretsnomore

We all carry them!

We’ve been so conditioned to not tell if we know what’s good for us.

The abuser threatens us in every sorta way to make sure we are silent!

But you can tell the secret and live!

I did! I am #silentnomore because I keep #secretsnomore !

You can too!

Yes, oh my goodness gracious it’s super scary but it’s so worth it to gain your own freedom and step on your healing path!!

If you need someone to tell your secrets to I will listen.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Life is way too short to carey the burdens if others that aren’t yours to pack around!

You deserve better!

#secretsnomore

Secrets! We all have them! We all are carries of the secrets. But how many of us are able to make the decision to stop doing so?

I have decided that I will have #secretsnomore !!

I carried them for many years…only to end up bruised, battered, and almost beaten down to where I could rise no more! For over half of my life I carried those dark, destructive secrets down on the inside of my soul which almost killed me. But God had other plans!

So I’m learning to heal and share my story of what I experienced and how I have overcome!

Now, today, I am a woman who is set on enjoying this life I’ve been given to the fullest! I have a wonderful husband who is also my soulmate! He is my biggest encourager and supporter!

I chose to not keep their secrets any longer!

Why should I? Most of those abusers are dead now anyway but even if not, I still refuse to keep their secrets!

What secrets have you been keeping?

In my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, I share bits and pieces in a fictional setting of what I experienced back in the hollers of Kentucky. I will soon be releasing book two, Secrets Exposed, and am hoping to have book three, which is as yet untitled, published before the end of the year.

My husband and I are also writing our story spanning over 40 years, Soul Mates: A story of Redemption!

He has been encouraging me to write My Truth: The Story behind the Secrets which will be autobiographical. Whew..that will be a challenging one for sure!

I encourage you to begin telling one secret. It starts with a small step, a determination, a knowing that you, my friend, are really worth the effort to gain the healing of your soul you deserve! You are special and you are very worthy!

I am hear to listen to your story, to tell your secrets to. No one should have to carry such a heavy burden!

What secret are you willing to share today?

You too can begin today by having #secretsnomore !

Feel free to email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Follow me on face book at Author Pamela Richards Woodall.

I look forward to hearing from you!

You are not alone!

 

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3 Ways for Important Self-care

Don’t forget to take care of yourself!

Learning to love myself has been a great challenge for I was taught from birth I was worthless and unloved and unlovable!

Ahhh…but I am discovering what a lier all those folks were! However I’ve also discovered it’s so much easier to listen to and believe those lies than to expel them and believe God’s truth about who I am!

Chances are the same holds true for you!

I often ponder on why we’re wired that way…why does it seem easier, less hard work, simpler to take in, absorb, allow those lies to become a part of our innermost being?

Maybe one reason is that if we are not taught from birth of our worth then we will have a stronger perpensity of believing those lies. And seemingly those lies are always sprinkled with a bit of sugar, a smidge of truth that will help the vile taste of the core lies go down better.

But we do not live in a Mary Poppins kinda world. The world in qhich we live in today is full of rage and hate and longing! Yes I believe we’re all, each and every one of us, are all longing just to be loved and accepted!

Accepted in the beloved! Loved for who we really are deep down on the inside we may carey a different belief.

But wait….if you knew the real me you might not like who I really am. If you knew just how frequently I fight fear or unworthiness or self doubt or those dark thoughts of suicide you probably would never wanta talk to me again.

So I’ll throw on my pretty, happy mask and I’ll paint myself up just so you’ll accept me and I’ll buy the push up bra and I’ll have my skin baked to a golden glow and I’ll get many of my body parts pierced or tattooed and so on and so on!! (Guys do the same thing!)

But I digress….

I’m learning to love and appreciate my own quirkiness. I can’t help it if you don’t! That’s on you not me!

I need to love and appreciate me so I can rise up and be what I’ve been called to be. Same as you do!

How can we truly learn to love others if we first don’t love our self!?!

3 Ways I’m Learning to Love Me

1. Listen to my inner messages

I’ve come to realize there’s no way I’d speak to another person as I have myself! So I’m learning to catch these self defeating words quicker and replace the negative with a more positive, truthful message!

2. Forgive Me Quicker

Oh gracious this is a hard one for me!!

I’m still punishing myself over something that happened almost 40 years ago. I know its wrong but have felt I needed to do this!

The Word tells us to be quick to forgive. Well I’m learning that applies to me the same as anyone else!

3. Do Something Daily for Me

Doesn’t need to cost anything nor take a lot of time. It is important that I chose on purpose to daily show my inner self, the little girl within, that I value who I am!

Maybe I take my first hot cup of coffee outside and breath in the new morning.

Maybe I take an afternoon nap.

Maybe I indulge myself with a good chocolate treat.

Maybe I linger longer in a warm hug from my beloved!

Whatever it may be I need to do one thing for me daily!

I encourage you to begin today learning to love and appreciate you! You are worth it and so very important!

I’d love to hear your story!

Drop me a line here.

You can also follow me on Facebook at: Author Pamela Richards-Woodall

Have a wonderful, love filled day!

This is my story of how hope wins!

Rape: It is real!

Trigger Warning!!!

I had a dream last night about rape!

Not of me being raped but women I know, have known since high school and those who went to school with my son and other women I know.

It was a very disturbing dream!

I hate these kinds of dreams for to me there is no point in them except the enemy messing with my sleep; however, the more I’ve pondered on this subject this morning the more I wonder if I’m to share my words…again.

I’ve been criticized for sharing too much, for being so open yet I know God has called me to be transparent of what I’ve experienced in hopes of showing others who may have suffered similar experiences that there is hope in Him!

Rape is sexual intercourse, either with the man’s penis or some object inserted into the victim, against the other person’s will!

With regard to my experiences in my childhood I’ve used the words assault, molested, violated but today let’s call it what it really is/was: RAPE!!!

And rape can be carried out by women!

Rape is having some object, human or not, forced inside any of your openings against your will!

Rape is wrong!

Rape can happen to little girls and boys, women and men!

I truly can’t count the times I’ve been raped from before I did not have memories up to my adulthood! It was wrong!

Rape is about the rapist being a bully!
Rape is about the rapist humiliating the one being raped!
Rape is about the rapist needing the power over another!

Rape is wrong!!

Some of my rapists are dead and gone, others are not!

In my dream I had a tazer like object but when I touched these people who were raping they just dissolved! How cool is that!!!

It has taken boat loads of prayers, tears, hard work and quality counselors to help me get past my former horrific experiences! I praise God He has me in the palm of His hand. I don’t know why I had to go through what I did but I can guarantee you if it was to help one person I will share my story anywhere I can!

You can heal from rape, from abuse!

You must be willing to fight the fight to overcome and rise above it!

I share a lot of these experiences in my book, Secrets in the Hollers, as well as the new one, Secrets Exposed!

It is high time to tell the secrets!

I hope you will stand with me in stating that there should be #secretsnomore !

I’d love to hear your story!

You are not alone and someone does truly care about you!

I am a #warriorrisingup !!!

Check our my facebook page at: Author Pamela Richards Woodall

I am available for speaking engagements and training opportunities working to help heal the hurting from various abusive situations!

You do not have to bear the pain alone!

You are worthy!

You….yes you…are such a beautiful individual!!

You have purpose and value!

You have a great destiny!

You are precious in His eyes!

You were born with a purpose, a reason!

There is One who longs to walk with you!

He can give you peace in a chaotic world!

His sweet love!

Surrender.

No fear.

Purposeful.

Changes.

Great love.