3 Ways for Important Self-care

Don’t forget to take care of yourself!

Learning to love myself has been a great challenge for I was taught from birth I was worthless and unloved and unlovable!

Ahhh…but I am discovering what a lier all those folks were! However I’ve also discovered it’s so much easier to listen to and believe those lies than to expel them and believe God’s truth about who I am!

Chances are the same holds true for you!

I often ponder on why we’re wired that way…why does it seem easier, less hard work, simpler to take in, absorb, allow those lies to become a part of our innermost being?

Maybe one reason is that if we are not taught from birth of our worth then we will have a stronger perpensity of believing those lies. And seemingly those lies are always sprinkled with a bit of sugar, a smidge of truth that will help the vile taste of the core lies go down better.

But we do not live in a Mary Poppins kinda world. The world in qhich we live in today is full of rage and hate and longing! Yes I believe we’re all, each and every one of us, are all longing just to be loved and accepted!

Accepted in the beloved! Loved for who we really are deep down on the inside we may carey a different belief.

But wait….if you knew the real me you might not like who I really am. If you knew just how frequently I fight fear or unworthiness or self doubt or those dark thoughts of suicide you probably would never wanta talk to me again.

So I’ll throw on my pretty, happy mask and I’ll paint myself up just so you’ll accept me and I’ll buy the push up bra and I’ll have my skin baked to a golden glow and I’ll get many of my body parts pierced or tattooed and so on and so on!! (Guys do the same thing!)

But I digress….

I’m learning to love and appreciate my own quirkiness. I can’t help it if you don’t! That’s on you not me!

I need to love and appreciate me so I can rise up and be what I’ve been called to be. Same as you do!

How can we truly learn to love others if we first don’t love our self!?!

3 Ways I’m Learning to Love Me

1. Listen to my inner messages

I’ve come to realize there’s no way I’d speak to another person as I have myself! So I’m learning to catch these self defeating words quicker and replace the negative with a more positive, truthful message!

2. Forgive Me Quicker

Oh gracious this is a hard one for me!!

I’m still punishing myself over something that happened almost 40 years ago. I know its wrong but have felt I needed to do this!

The Word tells us to be quick to forgive. Well I’m learning that applies to me the same as anyone else!

3. Do Something Daily for Me

Doesn’t need to cost anything nor take a lot of time. It is important that I chose on purpose to daily show my inner self, the little girl within, that I value who I am!

Maybe I take my first hot cup of coffee outside and breath in the new morning.

Maybe I take an afternoon nap.

Maybe I indulge myself with a good chocolate treat.

Maybe I linger longer in a warm hug from my beloved!

Whatever it may be I need to do one thing for me daily!

I encourage you to begin today learning to love and appreciate you! You are worth it and so very important!

I’d love to hear your story!

Drop me a line here.

You can also follow me on Facebook at: Author Pamela Richards-Woodall

Have a wonderful, love filled day!

This is my story of how hope wins!

Some Days…..

Some days are like….

Storms Rollin in!

Drama…..

Conflict…..

Physical pain…..

Disappointment…..

and so on…..

Other days be like….

Not all days are the same. They come. They go.

One thing for sure is to learn that this too shall pass. It may sometimes take more than a day but it will pass…it will fade away!

I’m so thankful in the middle of my yulk days and my good days I’m never alone!

He never leaves me nor forsake me.

I must learn good self care and shore up my healthy boundaries!

Under the Spreading Apple Tree….it happened

(Possible trigger warning)

The blooming apple tree, for me, signifies spring is indeed springing though this year there seems to be some confusion on this season if its coming or going. Its been warm then it gets really cold and even attempts to snow but that makes the seasons interesting in Kentucky! It’s never boring!

Just outside my office window this apple tree has beautiful blooms beginning with the buds then the opening plus there is a sweet, deep fragrence! Until just a few days ago I didn’t realize how lovely an apple tree smells.

For me for many long years I hated the apple tree! I dreaded to see the tree burst forth in bloom every spring with out fail. Yes, I know hate is a strong word but that’s how I felt.

That is until this year!

This year I decided to gain some control over those hateful feelings by confronting my memories associated with blooming apple trees!

You see, one of the first memories of my child abuse that returned was of me as a very young girl, laying naked on a clear sheet of plastic down in the backyard under a blooming apple tree. I remember disassociating thinking I was sitting up in that tree watching what was being done to that little girl by her uncle and grandmother thinking how horribly bad that was.

I so wanted to rescue that little girl!

I so wanted to protect her but I wasn’t able to!

I was that little girl!

April is National Child Abuse Awareness month and it’s the month apple trees are normally in bloom. Ironic.

So this week I walked out to the apple tree right outside my office window and had a good talk. I apologized to that little girl of long ago telling her how sorry I was she was ever hurt! I reminded her of her worth and value and that she was oh, so loved! And that she’s gonna do great things by telling her story to others so that they too can find their healing path!

And I spent time once again asking God to help me forgive those who had violated my being, my mind and my little girls body!

And to forgive me for holding onto unforgiveness against my abusers for so long, for not letting go of the pain and resentment sooner.

I chose on purpose to forgive them and move forward. There is way more peace in the forgiveness that in staying in the memories of the past.

Besides I’ve got way too much good to do! I’ve got more books to write! Words to share with others offering hope and help as they take necessary steps to overcome their painful past.

No one ever deserves to be abused! Ever!!

The trauma effects of child abuse afterward can be life altering but they do not necessarily have to steal your life!

You can grow and heal from child abuse!

If you need someone to be your voice until you gain yours I’d be honored to do so!

I’d love to hear your story!

You can reach out to me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

I’ve written my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, as a work of fiction based on a true story, mine!

Together we will become a force to be reckoned with!

Together we can help move many mountains!

#Iamavoiceforthevoiceless

May you have a sweet, peaceful day!

Healing Child Abuse and the Mother

She carried me in her womb for nine months and raised me until I left home. That doesn’t mean she was a good mother. Maybe she did the best she could though!

Just as there is a dash on our tombstone between our birth and death there should be a dash or some such marker from our birth until we leave home.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us God knew us before He even formed us in our mother’s womb. I used to hate that scripture because I thought it meant that God had placed me where He had, with the mother I have, on purpose knowing what would happen to me before it did. I used to think He’d planned for me to be hurt all along. That was a lie from the devil!

And the answer is ‘yes’ He did know.

I have no clue why God allowed the abuse in my life. I used to demand to know. Now I am thankful I just lived through it as sane and as healed as I am because I now know I could be dead or in an insane asylum.

My mother told me some years ago, “Well you’re no better off than I am so why shouldn’t you have been abused!” Wow…

After reading some letters she wrote to her siblings I now know just a bit of the abuse she had to endure and I know her own mother had endured abuse as well.

My husband and I went to see my mom today. She’s in a nursing home. She has started down the path of Alzheimer’s and it hurts my heart.

She and I have never had the mother / daughter relationship I so craved and still miss. I’ve learned how to glean that particular desire to be cared for and filled from God. His word tells us He is our momma and poppa as we need and right now my need of Him is to be close to me. Today it’s heavy!

Not only did God know me before He formed me; He knew that I would experience much horrific child abuse. He knew that for many years I’d battle with my mother for her part in all my pain and He knew I’d draw close to Him for my healing and learn how to release all the hurts, all the memories to Him so I could learn how to forgive my mother.

So today we visit her. She still looks the same but her mind is not the same at all. She does remember me which I’m very thankful for.

She frequently asked to go home, to the ole home place yet, she doesn’t seem to remember I too grew up there. She doesn’t remember that there’s now no home to go back to because someone burnt it down years ago.

Sometimes it scares me when she gets that look in her eyes as she demands to get out and go home. I can not help her and pray for peace over her mind.

I am so thankful God helped me to let the pain and hate and fear, of my childhood especially pertaining to my mom, go and be healed!

The old rock foundation is all that’s left standing of the home place yet time has gone on and healing has taken place in my soul.

I’m so thankful I’m now strong enough to love on her in her last years!

Everyone deserves love!

Everyone!

Stop the Bullying

Words can hurt at any age! 

I remember my school years being made such fun of…the slurs…the laughs…the harshness…the cruel pain! I tried to pretend it didn’t hurt but it did…a whole lot!

It hurt but no one seemed to care!

I grew up hearing hurtful words from those who were supposed to have loved me! 

I’ve been in relationships as an adult where hurtful words were flung at my wounded soul.

Verbal abuse is what it’s called! And it’s wrong!

You are responsible for what you say and do and how you treat others. 

I wonder how many of us would be brave enough to stand up if asked, “Stand up if you were ever hurt with words; made fun of; sexually assaulted;  bullied in school, etc?

I’m standing up!

In my opinion,  if we could truly see the heart of those around us I dare believe we’d treat each other with a great more compassion! 

I want to say to you, “I’m so sorry you were hurt!”

May any hurt within your soul begin to experience a deeper healing today than ever before!

May you experience compassion and mercy as never before!

No one deserves to be abused! 

I am so deeply grateful for the healin that has taken place within my soul. You can experience that same healing! Just ask me!

Together we can indeed make a difference! 

#secretsnomore

#Iamavoiceforthevoiceless

#stopbullying

Guard Your Thoughts 

Happy Friday to you!

What are you choosing to do today?

Work? Vacation? Stay-at-home-day? 

No matter what you do, you are the one in control of your day. 

Be aware of your thoughts for they will fuel your day and tomorrow you will reap the harvest of those thoughts whether they be fruitful or barren!

Make it a good day!

Share a smile!

Give a hug!

Be an encourager!

Stay positive! 

Love yourself!

#Warriorrisingup

Sins of the Mothers…. Forgiveness Happens

The totes were stuffed full of almost every imaginable thing. She’d been goin through them one at a time for sever all weeks because doing so all at once was way too daunting. It wasn’t easy digging through the envelopes of paid bills, doctors information, letters from social security, bill collectors, cards, letters from friends and family and more.

She’d recently sorted through the tote that held the cherished antique photos of her grandparents, two, one from their early days and a much later one after life had it them hard. These photos would soon hang on her wall in special remembrance. 

Today she’d opened the tote that held her very own baby clothes wrapped up in paper and placed in a plastic bag as if trying to protect them. She also found two of her baby bottles, one glass and one hard plastic. Both still had the black ring and stopper though no nipple. And her baby shoes. An old cloth diaper and diaper pins. Oh and she’d been so delighted when she pulled several articles of clothing from her early childhood years. Only one piece had been store bought, the others either hand sewn or machine stitched.

And she even found her baby book with information of her birth. That was a special treasure! There was her name written in pencil by her mother all those many years ago.

This discovery was shocking to the woman who was now going through these items tryin to decide what to keep and what to toss. Truthfully and sadly, this woman all her life had wondered if her mother really loved and cared about her. Now that truth seemed to point in the direction of affirmative. 

During the reading of old letters the daughter had discovered secrets her mother shared of her many years of sexual abuse by a close family member. This had been the hardest for the daughter to read and absord about her own mother. The daughter had herself suffered various forms of childhood abuse at the hands of this one perpetrator. The cycle had continued. 

For many years the daughter had fought with her mother, mainly wanting, no needing her mother to love and protect her from those pawing, prodding hands but that never happened. Now the daughter better understood that very possibly the mother simply did not know how to do so. Her own mother hadn’t protected her.

These new revelations softened the daughters heart towards her mother. Oh, no, it certainly didn’t excuse the mothers liability in not having fully protected her daughter. It did, however, help the daughter better understand her mother: A woman who at a young age was raped by this man and the abuse continued many years!

Now her mother resides in a nursing home, often times drifting into her own world. The daughter prays that the world her mother may be a part of is one full of sunshine and wildflower and butterflies and laughter. 

Finally the load seems somehow lighter that she, the daughter, had been carrying concerning her mother and the lack of love she’d felt all her life. Now the daughter was more able to release that burden and let it drift away. 

Now even more healing could take place within the depths of the daughter. Now peace had more room to reside within the daughters heart. 

Forgiveness was at work here.

Be the Difference 


In these days at hand stress is a major factor for so many of us. Fear is churned out on the news daily for any who watch to swallow and become infected. Doubt and hopelessness are quick to follow.

But you don’t have to go down that path.

You do have a choice.

Choose to be kind to yourself. 

Use healthy boundaries being aware of what you listen to, watch, read,  etc. Negative in….negative out.

You can rise above what’s going on and round you and make a difference. You can be that catalyst for dramatic change.

#bethedifference

#makeadifference

Verbal Pollution &          The Blame Game

There is so much verbal pollution nowadays! It seems to be everywhere, well almost everywhere. Yelling ! Fighting! Protesting! Blaming! Yet no one seems willing to sit down and take the time to listen.

What might happen if we truly decided to stop talkin and ask our fellow human how he or she was doing, how they were feeling?

Maybe that’s why we have two ears and one mouth: To listen more than we talk!
Wow what a concept!

Another thought: Why does it seem that the majority of folks are givin the media so much power? Have we forgotten to turn it off? Who said we ‘have’to listen and believe everything they say?

Have we as a society, as individuals, decided the media/ internet knows what’s best for us? Are we like sheep, being conditioned to acceptance of the foreseeable slaughter? I truly hope not!

Have you noticed that over the past 12-18 months news people have begun to use voice persuasion to get you to “Come here and look at this”? Because if you miss this gastly news clip of some horrible scene you’ll not be informed! And of course the media knows what’s best for you, right!?!

Who controls the media?

Why are we giving our power away to those we don’t even know? Do these people pay your monthly bills? Then why do you listen so intently to them daily to what they say? Then you get all worked up because you don’t agree?

Have we as a society simply out bred common sense?

Why does it seem so many of us believe we must take our required dose of depressing, hate filled, fear based news daily!

Why? What is it producing? More of the same because like produces like kind!

Just turn it off!

Maybe, just maybe, we can turn things around by sharing good news, by paying the positive forward, by sharing a smile, by choosing to encourage those around us. It takes less energy to be kind then it does to produce hatefulness.

We seem to wanta blame everyone else for our situation rather than taking responsibility ourself! What one thing are you doing to bring about healthy change? Or are you just grumbling and complaining?

It amazes me how so many blame our president for many situations in our country and even around the world. Do folks not realize the president’s seat is a position that is controlled by many? This position is not merely one man operating his own personal agenda! He has many ‘advisors’ both here and around the world.

I do believe we are to pray for our president and all leaders. Maybe if we all prayed as often as we grumble and complain about him and other leaders we’d truly see greater healthy change.

I am gravely concerned for our next generation yet I refuse to give up on them and live in fear! Yep, Jesus is coming back one day, maybe sooner than most expect, but until then, I will continue to love others…..and nope, I don’t tolerate just anything either. …not supposed to….I can love you but I do not have to agree with you!

Blind tolerance is not smart. You do have common sense. Tap into that. Listen to that still small voice. Chose to do what’s right. Follow truth. Be kind on purpose. Share a smile. Listen more, speak less. Know you are profoundly loved.

We are not in this world alone. Engage with others. Put your phone down and look around. It is still a beautiful place to be!

One day we all will answer for our own decisions. I’m so very thankful for His amazing grace!

Choose on purpose to be a light in a dark world. Share a smile. Extend a helping hand. Determine to make a difference. Set a great example. Be kind.