You Are Worthy!

Sometimes it’s a challenge to remember I am worthy…I am valuable…I am loveable…I am good enough!

Sometimes the lies from my past spoken over me by those who were supposed to have loved and protected me…yeah those lies try really hard to drill down in my brain and mess me up.

Haha…I’m learning to recognize them sooner rather than later and kick em to the curb!

We all have days like that!

I’m learning the value of quality self care! I’m learning to give myself permission to be still and heal!

You my friend are so worth the effort to be good to you today!

Take a walk in the woods.

Go for a bike ride.

Read a book.

Listen to music.

Dance like a wild person.

Take a nap.

Say “no”!

Do anything just for you!

You are worth it!

I’d love to hear your story.

Drop me a note at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

You can follow me on face book at: Author Pamela Richards Woodall.

3 Ways for Important Self-care

Don’t forget to take care of yourself!

Learning to love myself has been a great challenge for I was taught from birth I was worthless and unloved and unlovable!

Ahhh…but I am discovering what a lier all those folks were! However I’ve also discovered it’s so much easier to listen to and believe those lies than to expel them and believe God’s truth about who I am!

Chances are the same holds true for you!

I often ponder on why we’re wired that way…why does it seem easier, less hard work, simpler to take in, absorb, allow those lies to become a part of our innermost being?

Maybe one reason is that if we are not taught from birth of our worth then we will have a stronger perpensity of believing those lies. And seemingly those lies are always sprinkled with a bit of sugar, a smidge of truth that will help the vile taste of the core lies go down better.

But we do not live in a Mary Poppins kinda world. The world in qhich we live in today is full of rage and hate and longing! Yes I believe we’re all, each and every one of us, are all longing just to be loved and accepted!

Accepted in the beloved! Loved for who we really are deep down on the inside we may carey a different belief.

But wait….if you knew the real me you might not like who I really am. If you knew just how frequently I fight fear or unworthiness or self doubt or those dark thoughts of suicide you probably would never wanta talk to me again.

So I’ll throw on my pretty, happy mask and I’ll paint myself up just so you’ll accept me and I’ll buy the push up bra and I’ll have my skin baked to a golden glow and I’ll get many of my body parts pierced or tattooed and so on and so on!! (Guys do the same thing!)

But I digress….

I’m learning to love and appreciate my own quirkiness. I can’t help it if you don’t! That’s on you not me!

I need to love and appreciate me so I can rise up and be what I’ve been called to be. Same as you do!

How can we truly learn to love others if we first don’t love our self!?!

3 Ways I’m Learning to Love Me

1. Listen to my inner messages

I’ve come to realize there’s no way I’d speak to another person as I have myself! So I’m learning to catch these self defeating words quicker and replace the negative with a more positive, truthful message!

2. Forgive Me Quicker

Oh gracious this is a hard one for me!!

I’m still punishing myself over something that happened almost 40 years ago. I know its wrong but have felt I needed to do this!

The Word tells us to be quick to forgive. Well I’m learning that applies to me the same as anyone else!

3. Do Something Daily for Me

Doesn’t need to cost anything nor take a lot of time. It is important that I chose on purpose to daily show my inner self, the little girl within, that I value who I am!

Maybe I take my first hot cup of coffee outside and breath in the new morning.

Maybe I take an afternoon nap.

Maybe I indulge myself with a good chocolate treat.

Maybe I linger longer in a warm hug from my beloved!

Whatever it may be I need to do one thing for me daily!

I encourage you to begin today learning to love and appreciate you! You are worth it and so very important!

I’d love to hear your story!

Drop me a line here.

You can also follow me on Facebook at: Author Pamela Richards-Woodall

Have a wonderful, love filled day!

This is my story of how hope wins!

Some Days…..

Some days are like….

Storms Rollin in!

Drama…..

Conflict…..

Physical pain…..

Disappointment…..

and so on…..

Other days be like….

Not all days are the same. They come. They go.

One thing for sure is to learn that this too shall pass. It may sometimes take more than a day but it will pass…it will fade away!

I’m so thankful in the middle of my yulk days and my good days I’m never alone!

He never leaves me nor forsake me.

I must learn good self care and shore up my healthy boundaries!

Under the Spreading Apple Tree….it happened

(Possible trigger warning)

The blooming apple tree, for me, signifies spring is indeed springing though this year there seems to be some confusion on this season if its coming or going. Its been warm then it gets really cold and even attempts to snow but that makes the seasons interesting in Kentucky! It’s never boring!

Just outside my office window this apple tree has beautiful blooms beginning with the buds then the opening plus there is a sweet, deep fragrence! Until just a few days ago I didn’t realize how lovely an apple tree smells.

For me for many long years I hated the apple tree! I dreaded to see the tree burst forth in bloom every spring with out fail. Yes, I know hate is a strong word but that’s how I felt.

That is until this year!

This year I decided to gain some control over those hateful feelings by confronting my memories associated with blooming apple trees!

You see, one of the first memories of my child abuse that returned was of me as a very young girl, laying naked on a clear sheet of plastic down in the backyard under a blooming apple tree. I remember disassociating thinking I was sitting up in that tree watching what was being done to that little girl by her uncle and grandmother thinking how horribly bad that was.

I so wanted to rescue that little girl!

I so wanted to protect her but I wasn’t able to!

I was that little girl!

April is National Child Abuse Awareness month and it’s the month apple trees are normally in bloom. Ironic.

So this week I walked out to the apple tree right outside my office window and had a good talk. I apologized to that little girl of long ago telling her how sorry I was she was ever hurt! I reminded her of her worth and value and that she was oh, so loved! And that she’s gonna do great things by telling her story to others so that they too can find their healing path!

And I spent time once again asking God to help me forgive those who had violated my being, my mind and my little girls body!

And to forgive me for holding onto unforgiveness against my abusers for so long, for not letting go of the pain and resentment sooner.

I chose on purpose to forgive them and move forward. There is way more peace in the forgiveness that in staying in the memories of the past.

Besides I’ve got way too much good to do! I’ve got more books to write! Words to share with others offering hope and help as they take necessary steps to overcome their painful past.

No one ever deserves to be abused! Ever!!

The trauma effects of child abuse afterward can be life altering but they do not necessarily have to steal your life!

You can grow and heal from child abuse!

If you need someone to be your voice until you gain yours I’d be honored to do so!

I’d love to hear your story!

You can reach out to me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

I’ve written my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, as a work of fiction based on a true story, mine!

Together we will become a force to be reckoned with!

Together we can help move many mountains!

#Iamavoiceforthevoiceless

May you have a sweet, peaceful day!

Healing Child Abuse and the Mother

She carried me in her womb for nine months and raised me until I left home. That doesn’t mean she was a good mother. Maybe she did the best she could though!

Just as there is a dash on our tombstone between our birth and death there should be a dash or some such marker from our birth until we leave home.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us God knew us before He even formed us in our mother’s womb. I used to hate that scripture because I thought it meant that God had placed me where He had, with the mother I have, on purpose knowing what would happen to me before it did. I used to think He’d planned for me to be hurt all along. That was a lie from the devil!

And the answer is ‘yes’ He did know.

I have no clue why God allowed the abuse in my life. I used to demand to know. Now I am thankful I just lived through it as sane and as healed as I am because I now know I could be dead or in an insane asylum.

My mother told me some years ago, “Well you’re no better off than I am so why shouldn’t you have been abused!” Wow…

After reading some letters she wrote to her siblings I now know just a bit of the abuse she had to endure and I know her own mother had endured abuse as well.

My husband and I went to see my mom today. She’s in a nursing home. She has started down the path of Alzheimer’s and it hurts my heart.

She and I have never had the mother / daughter relationship I so craved and still miss. I’ve learned how to glean that particular desire to be cared for and filled from God. His word tells us He is our momma and poppa as we need and right now my need of Him is to be close to me. Today it’s heavy!

Not only did God know me before He formed me; He knew that I would experience much horrific child abuse. He knew that for many years I’d battle with my mother for her part in all my pain and He knew I’d draw close to Him for my healing and learn how to release all the hurts, all the memories to Him so I could learn how to forgive my mother.

So today we visit her. She still looks the same but her mind is not the same at all. She does remember me which I’m very thankful for.

She frequently asked to go home, to the ole home place yet, she doesn’t seem to remember I too grew up there. She doesn’t remember that there’s now no home to go back to because someone burnt it down years ago.

Sometimes it scares me when she gets that look in her eyes as she demands to get out and go home. I can not help her and pray for peace over her mind.

I am so thankful God helped me to let the pain and hate and fear, of my childhood especially pertaining to my mom, go and be healed!

The old rock foundation is all that’s left standing of the home place yet time has gone on and healing has taken place in my soul.

I’m so thankful I’m now strong enough to love on her in her last years!

Everyone deserves love!

Everyone!

You get to say when. You get to say where.

Wouldn’t it be great, if you haven’t yet already reached this point, of knowing within your being you get to say when and you get to say where!?

 

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How exciting that you do have a choice! Just because someone suggests you do this or that doesn’t mean you need to follow their advice. Pull from your inner peace which direction you should travel in. Not everyone will understand your desire to walk a different path and that’s perfectly okay!

It took me years to realize that once I had grabbed hold of that peace, that inner compass, it would indeed direct me to where I needed to go. Some days it’s a quiet feeling whereas other days it seems to be screaming within me to go this way!

TheĀ  point being is that no one has the right to tell you what to do, unless you’re a kid then you should have, hopefully, loving parents to guide you. No I’m talking about when you’re an adult and others seem to think that for whatever reason they have been given a right to dictate to you what you should do. Nope! Not gonna happen!

You are a beautiful person very capable of making your choices. My hope for you is that you will find that path that is solely yours where you walk and sense His inner peaceĀ  knowing you are so important to Him and that He cares for every area of your life.

My hope for you is that you learn to stand before that mirror and smile knowing that the individual looking back at you is strong and resilient.

My hope for you is that as time marches forward you will be able to accept who you are scars and all!

My hope for you is that you will soon be able to say, ‘Thanks but no thanks! Today I walk my own path!”

 

rugged dry creek hillside

There is a powerful person on the inside of you just waiting to rise up!

When we learn to no longer allow others to ‘dumb us down’ we will begin to step onto that path only intended for us to travel.

Today can very well be that first day of you daring to step onto your own path, scary though it may be; you really are worth the effort!

I’d love to hear from you!

Happy travels!!

#iamavoiceforthevoiceless

#warriorrisingup

#creatingmyownpath