My goodness! What a crazy world we seem to be living in today, huh?!
I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such a level of mass fear and panic! We must continue to keep our focus on Jesus! When we read His word, there is a reference to ‘fear not’ many times. Let’s apply those daily!
So how ya doing with all this going on? Are you managing ok? Do you have enough supplies? Is anyone checking on you? Are ya goin’ stir-crazy? Could you use a good ole, long hug? I know…me too! I miss huggin!!
Most days I am handling it all pretty well. I do greatly miss being around people and huggin! I miss huggin! It almost feels like some form of punishment for something we didn’t do. Or even an out of control feeling over something we have no way at all of fixin! Whew….
I find myself wondering and actually am very concerned with how others are doing during this C-virus scare with their mental health! Your mental health has to do with your cognitive and emotional well being. It involves how you think, feel and behave. As a result of previous traumatic events, those processes could be skewed or messed up making it very difficult to talk about how we’re feeling.
Sadly in our society, it seems to still be a taboo subject to openly talk about mental illness. Yet, I wonder how many are suffering in silence? How many out there are walking around, well, now they have to stay home, who may be one traumatic event away from exploding? Or are a whisper away from an emotional breakdown? Or believe no one cares?
There should not be the stigma of discussing these issues!!
Many of us deal with mental health issues. Some of them could include anxiety, (there are at least 6 types of anxiety) depression, panic disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorder, schizophrenia, substance abuse and more. The list is long. There is a horrible shroud over our society to openly discuss these and other issues. Why?
I dare say that if we were dealing with some form of cancer or had a broken bone or even an autoimmune disease we’d gain support and encouragement. Even so, we must press forward and continue to grow and thrive to the best of our abilities helping each other along the way.
With schools closed, I wonder how our children are growing mentally? Now that they are forced to be at home, in many circumstances, with their abuser 24 X 7, I can imagine the fear they may be living with daily! I remember when I was a child, the school was my safe haven! I hated when school was out and I had to stay home no matter the reason. I knew at school there would be no poking or prodding my innocent places like there often was at home. I knew I had a hot meal at lunch every day I was at school. Many times I went hungry at home. Even though I understand the reason behind closing schools, I still hurt for those kids who are experiencing more abuse because of this virus outbreak. So I understand when I read reports of an expected increase of child abuse as well as domestic violence!
I dare say we will begin to see a spike in mental health issues as well. We must continue to educate ourselves and pray for our neighbors, one for another. Dare to be the support someone needs but is so afraid to ask for help. We can come against this fearful time we are now experiencing!
I understand the fear that is covering our great land; not just on the abuse and addiction issue but the lack-issue. Now people are laid off from jobs so they aren’t able to provide for their families. Yes, there is the stimulus check most folks will receive and the unemployment insurance; yet, there are still families where those will not help with all the lay-offs, some even permanently.
May this be the time when we are truly the hands and feet of Jesus showing love and compassion along the way.
We are here if you need to reach out!
Feel free to contact us: Broken Pieces No More Inc PO Box 1373 Somerset, KY 42502
I had wondered if we’d have a white Christmas but where we live…nope! Way too warm and that’s nice too!
I have done very little for Christmas this year. It’s simply been way too hard, too stressful to do otherwise. Oh, I tried to decorate. Had big plans for doing so. Even had my wonderful husband to bring my numerous totes of decorations to the house from storage and I even pulled some things out. I do have a few snowmen sitting about the house but that’s it.
I’m not playing scrooge or anything negative. I simply do not have the emotional energy to get caught up in all the hype of the holiday. I find myself struggling…a lot…this year with the expectations of my getting into the spirit of the holiday when I just don’t have it inside.
I refuse to get in to the whole gift giving until credit cards are maxed out! That’s crazy!
Oh, don’t get me wrong! I do celebrate the birth of my Lord and Savior for without Him I know I would not be here. I’d be dead or in an insane asylum somewhere. No, I know I’m ridiculously blessed and I’m oh, so grateful for the birth of Jesus!
This year has been way more simple for me!
Not too long ago my mother passed. Six months ago if someone had told me I’d be reacting this way I’d of said they were nuts! My mother and I didn’t have a healthy relationship at all in any area! She was one of my main abusers. But God!
You see, when she’d been placed in a nursing home and Hospice took over her care, she had days where her mind was clear and we’d have time to talk and laugh and make things right. I was able to hear the sweet words from her of ‘I’m sorry’! What a joy! And I hold fast to that!
I’m grateful for learning how to forgive her and all those who hurt me! Forgiving is freedom from being a victim and stepping into being an overcomer!
I’m realizing not only am I mourning her passing; I’m also mourning what I now know I’ll never have! I’ll never have a healthy mother daughter relationship. I must allow that dream to die.
But God! He gave me a sweet gift of those few days with my mother, before she passed, of who I believe was her core being before the demons of her own abuse took over her soul. I am now able to see her through a different lens, through a different set of glasses which enables me to extend grace and mercy to her.
With my mother’s passing I’m finding myself adjusting my sails a bit differently on this sea of life. I’m evaluating and reevaluating my current relationships. I’m seeing more clearly some areas of my life that I now know I must let go of: Those familiar belief systems that were put in place when I was raised in a very dysfunctional, abusive home. Those familiar thoughts that still plague my mind; that feel like falling back into a mound of warm, cushy pillows seemingly all safe and sound. But that is a false belief!
And it’s scary to address those lies from my past, to confront their limited mortality! And it’s my choice as to whether or not I wanta address them, to send them packing and scurrying into the night. It’s my choice if I wanta live in freedom or continue to live in the small sphere of life around me when in fact, when I do choose to let those lies go, when I do choose to expose the lies to the truth, then I will gain a larger sphere. I will gain truth! And the truth will set me free!
I know it’s a process. I know it takes time, lots of hard work and reflection as well as letting go!
So this Christmas I began a new tradition by making an honorary donation in my mother’s name to Broken Pieces No More, Inc for the work they do to help raise awareness of various forms of abuse, addiction as well as providing healthy healing options.
I’m also learning more to be kind to me and not expect so much!
Healing happens! Yet healing is messy!
If there were such a thing as a perfect Christmas it would one where all four of our children and their children along with the rest of our family were together to celebrate our savior’s birth. Until then I continue to pray for healing and His love to transform us all.
I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and happy holidays.
Feel free to contact BPNM at firstname.lastname@example.org or PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502.
I woke this morning refreshed and energized, even excited! My body is tired but my mind renewed and for that, I am very thankful. You see, over the past four days my world has turned upside down so to speak. On Friday, the nursing home where my mother stays had to have her transported to the Emergency Room. There, after testing, they discovered two large blood clots, one on each lung. After consulting with the doctor he told us that she would probably be gone before morning. She’d refused medicine and even the oxygen that was vital for her living.
We all need our momma!
Wow! What a shock! I’d contacted our son who lives 700 miles away. The doctor told us he didn’t believe our son could get to the hospital in time before my mother passed. Goodness! So my husband and I prepare for the finality of her home-going as best we can. We stayed at the hospital until late in the night when she grew agitated so we left thinking maybe we were causing her to not rest.
The next morning I hadn’t received a call that she’d passed so we were kinda shocked and even more so when we got to the unit where she was only to see her standing at the nurses’ station talking with them. Oh, my goodness! This woman sure is tough!
After a consult with the doctor, who was as shocked as we were of her continuing to live given the conditions of her lungs, we decided the best route to take would be to have Hospice give her comfort care for her last days. So later in the day, they transported her back to the nursing home.
We and the doctor asked her repeatedly if she’d like the medicine that would prolong her life. Her response was, “No, I want to go home!” Well, I’m thinking to the home she grew up in. So I ask her, “Mom, what home?”
She responds, “I wanta go to Heaven to see Jesus and Tommy! (My stepdad.)
As my husband and I have daily visited her we have been very shocked at her mood. She laughs, she jokes and we enjoy being with her. At our last visit, she was tracking well and in a good mood. Some things were mentioned about the past where there’d been some deep heart woundings for both my husband and me. She looked at my husband and said, “I’m so sorry! Will you ever forgive me?” Wow…and yes he has and told her so.
Then the conversation shifted to some rough years I’d had to endure at her manipulating after my husband I were separated long years ago. (We are now remarried. He is my precious soulmate!) She looked at me and said, “And that was my fault and I’m so sorry you were hurt!” Again, wow!!!
And we’ve talked about the books I’m writing. She asked me to remind her of my first one. I told her it was about the child abuse I’d experienced. “And the second”, she asked.
“It’s about the domestic violence I experienced”, I replied.
She paused a few minutes then looked up at me and said, “Your books will help a lot of people!” Wow…just wow!
My point in all of this is never give up! Pray for God’s redemption and restoration. My mother is dying. It could be today or a few months from now but she is indeed dying. I know God has blessed us with a very special gift. I believe I am seeing what my mother woulda been like had she not gone through her own horrific abuse! She made bad choices, we all have; however, she did not gain the healing needed to overcome brokenness from the past.
We all need freedom and forgiveness!
I encourage you, forgive those who have hurt you! Please don’t waste precious time! None of us are guaranteed of tomorrow. You may not be able to have a healed relationship with them because they may still be too toxic but you can walk in the sweet benefits of forgiving! Forgiveness is for you so you may live your life in victory and freedom and sweet healing!
I would love to hear your story of how you have been able to forgive!
For me….I had to….
1. Ask God to give me the want to, to even begin to forgive!
It wasn’t easy and took lots of practice! I knew Jesus had forgiven me and it was necessary for me to do the same to others who’d hurt me.
2. I had to remember I am not ruled or lead by my emotions but His truth.
There were many days on top of many days when I did not ‘feel’ like forgiving her or anyone who’s abused me. That doesn’t make it so. I had to remember, sometimes even as I was screaming and kicking my way through the mess, that His truth would set me free!
3. I needed to accept I was worth forgiving!
So many times those of us who have been hurt through abuse often feel unworthy. We struggle with whether or not anyone could ever really love us because we feel so dirty. Those are lies from the devil! He wants us to stay in bondage so he can lead us down a very dark, destructive path. He is a lier!!
In accepting I am worth forgiving it is often easier to then forgive others as well as self!
Jesus paid a very high price for my freedom: With His very life!
I am learning that I am indeed worth loving and forgiving myself because my Jesus says so! And so are you!
It’s early morning as I write these words. I looked out earlier to discover a frost gently laying across our hills and valley. It is beautiful!
I used to not be an early morning person but for some reason as I’ve grown older….actually over this past year…I’ve realized a likening for early morning.
I fix my first cup of coffee, turn on the local news and journal a bit then read The Word and plan out my day.
I so need His Word to direct my day and calm my emotions. I clearly remember when I used to be lead by my radical emotions which often got me into trouble! Now I’m learning to tell my emotions to be quiet and give a listen to what The Spirit is saying to me! Keeps me outta trouble that way!
There is nothing wrong with emotions at all! I believe they are a beautiful gift from our Poppa God to us. He has emotions and we are made in His image so it stands to reason we will have them as well. However it is what we do with them that counts!
How many of you have been at the store and get to witness a child having a temper fit?
It’s not a pleasant experience for sure.
I wonder if our Poppa God looks at us when we’re throwing a temper fit cuz we didn’t get our way shaking His head?
Honestly there have been times when I’ve seen older children throw themselves on the floor frailing and thrashing about and I wanted to spank their bottom! That is not acceptable behavior!
Our Poppa God is a loving Heavenly Father and I believe He expects us to behave in a mature manner as we grow older.
And because He is a loving Father He will discipline us as needed. He does not think up ways to beat us over the head with a baseball bat; no, He loves us and will provide instructions to help guide us.
How do we keep our emotions under control instead of allowing them to control us?
1. Read His Word
The Bible is our life instruction book. We really have no excuse for not knowing how to behave or which way to go for it’s all in the Word! There are many examples of how we are to conduct our self all throughout these pages.
2. Wise Counsel
It’s so vitally important to have those who are mature in the Lord that are willing to journey with you on your path. But take care here, not everyone has your best interest at heart! Choose those mentors wisely! Ask Poppa who it is He’d have you counsel with.
3. Use Your Written Words
I have been journaling since I was a young girl. It’s been very beneficial for me to do so especially as I’ve gotten older to write down my thoughts. I am now able to see patterns of behavior, whether good or bad, that I can either enhance or chose to change.
So often we fear change which actually we’re fearful of the unknown. But again, if we are following hard after Poppa then we have nothing to fear!
I’m finally learning to face my fears by stopping and turning to face whatever fear it maybe and deal with it. No it’s not always easy and my emotions can get all whacked outta place but it is necessary if I intend to grow!
What emotions do you struggle with?
What are some of the ways you have learned to control your emotions?
How many times have you looked around you in the middle of a storm…whether it’s a physical issue or money problems or emotional unrest or relationship hurt or so many other forms of a storm…and it seems that your friends have faded into the background?
This morning I looked out the window only to see a fog bank bout 75 feet away. Wow…what a great visual…I’m a visual learner!
I have felt that way before! Like I was in the middle of a horrific storm and thought I had friends I could turn to only to discover they all seemed to have disappeared.
It was then I’d find myself silently screaming, “Why Lord? Why have You left me all alone to fight this scary battle all by myself? I thought you were right here with me!”
I had to learn He is always with me!
His word tells me He will never leave nor forsake me.
Oh man will…friends will wreck you…family will truly mess up your life..but our Poppa God won’t! He can’t!
I’ve had to learn to change my thinkin!
Even though the storm clouds may surround me, even though the fog bank may roll in, my Poppa God is always by my side!
The sun is always shinning above the clouds!
I’ve had to learn how to change my perspective. Stop viewing my situation from a limited view and begin to view my situation with unlimited possibilities in Jesus!
I pray your day is a good one and that if you are in a storm you will not feel alone!
I’d love to hear your story!
Give me a holler here or email at: email@example.com
Learning to love myself has been a great challenge for I was taught from birth I was worthless and unloved and unlovable!
Ahhh…but I am discovering what a lier all those folks were! However I’ve also discovered it’s so much easier to listen to and believe those lies than to expel them and believe God’s truth about who I am!
Chances are the same holds true for you!
I often ponder on why we’re wired that way…why does it seem easier, less hard work, simpler to take in, absorb, allow those lies to become a part of our innermost being?
Maybe one reason is that if we are not taught from birth of our worth then we will have a stronger perpensity of believing those lies. And seemingly those lies are always sprinkled with a bit of sugar, a smidge of truth that will help the vile taste of the core lies go down better.
But we do not live in a Mary Poppins kinda world. The world in qhich we live in today is full of rage and hate and longing! Yes I believe we’re all, each and every one of us, are all longing just to be loved and accepted!
Accepted in the beloved! Loved for who we really are deep down on the inside we may carey a different belief.
But wait….if you knew the real me you might not like who I really am. If you knew just how frequently I fight fear or unworthiness or self doubt or those dark thoughts of suicide you probably would never wanta talk to me again.
So I’ll throw on my pretty, happy mask and I’ll paint myself up just so you’ll accept me and I’ll buy the push up bra and I’ll have my skin baked to a golden glow and I’ll get many of my body parts pierced or tattooed and so on and so on!! (Guys do the same thing!)
But I digress….
I’m learning to love and appreciate my own quirkiness. I can’t help it if you don’t! That’s on you not me!
I need to love and appreciate me so I can rise up and be what I’ve been called to be. Same as you do!
How can we truly learn to love others if we first don’t love our self!?!
3 Ways I’m Learning to Love Me
1. Listen to my inner messages
I’ve come to realize there’s no way I’d speak to another person as I have myself! So I’m learning to catch these self defeating words quicker and replace the negative with a more positive, truthful message!
2. Forgive Me Quicker
Oh gracious this is a hard one for me!!
I’m still punishing myself over something that happened almost 40 years ago. I know its wrong but have felt I needed to do this!
The Word tells us to be quick to forgive. Well I’m learning that applies to me the same as anyone else!
3. Do Something Daily for Me
Doesn’t need to cost anything nor take a lot of time. It is important that I chose on purpose to daily show my inner self, the little girl within, that I value who I am!
Maybe I take my first hot cup of coffee outside and breath in the new morning.
Maybe I take an afternoon nap.
Maybe I indulge myself with a good chocolate treat.
Maybe I linger longer in a warm hug from my beloved!
Whatever it may be I need to do one thing for me daily!
I encourage you to begin today learning to love and appreciate you! You are worth it and so very important!
I’d love to hear your story!
Drop me a line here.
You can also follow me on Facebook at: Author Pamela Richards-Woodall