Today where I live we’re supposed to receive snow. I enjoy a good snow. However, today it is grey and overcast. Sad looking!
I am making myself rest making no major decisions. My whole being is tired and drained.
I find myself traveling from one point to the other in our home. From organizing in my office to decluttering the kitchen and living room to putting laundry away.
I am so very thankful my beloved husband is home on vacation. It is so safe feeling having him here.
My grief is still fresh and real and palpating throughout my being.
I miss my daddy!
This next Tuesday we’ll lay him in his final resting place. I’d so hoped to have the Honor Guard attending but no, these lockdowns won’t allow that!
I’ve been reading a book pertaining to grieving for ones parent. I’m not sure if I’m on track or not. I do have several close friends I check in with who keep me on track.
Time. Time is supposed to heal all wounds. I chose to repeatedly take my pain to Jesus. He understands very well!
I greatly miss our son and his family. They live 700 miles away so we wont spend Christmas together this year! Hurts my heart!
This Christmas I chose to be kind to me. My beloved and I are talking and watching movies. Right now we’re watching The Lord of the Rings movies. We’re making plans and goals for 2021 with our publishing company as well as our ministry. Plans are good.
I chose on purpose to focus on the positive.
3 Points of Positives
1. God is my Poppa; Jesus is my Lord and Holy Spirit is my Comforter
2. This is only a season. It did not come to stay. I will adjust my sails and move forward!
3. Self care is vital. Much like when an oxygen mask falls in a descending airplane, we individually must practice self care to be able to care for others.
I pray your Christmas Eve is a Happy and contended one.
It’s a sunny morning. My desk sits in front of the window facing east here in the office. I have the curtains half-way pulled to block the sun from shining directly in my eyes. I will not complain, though, for I know there are days ahead where a layer of thick clouds will block out the sun.
And how often that can apply to life around us!
On days like today, the sun is bright, and we can see clearly. I don’t know bout you, but there are those times if I go for days not seeing the sun, I begin to get depressed. I learn to change my perspective and try to focus on the positive around me, then even though I may not see the source of that bright light overhead.
No matter what will happen, the sun will never stop shinning. However, there will be many times that storms will invade our lives and the clouds will try to block out the sun’s warm glow!
I grow concerned for our country, yes, even our world right now!
Just yesterday, the governor of our state decided to implement yet more lockdowns, mandates and such. This causes me great concern especially for the mental health of children and adults for we were not created to stay cooped up! Nor were we created to live with such fear!
I try not to bash anyone, for that does no good. And yes, a thousand times yes, I do pray for our leaders as we’re told in God’s word. And when my mind gets all jumbly with the ‘what-if’s’ and the fear, I must take control of that thought pattern and choose on purpose to put my trust in God. It’s simply not always easy!
Fear is a very real and present danger!
In my 60 years, I have never seen fear so rampant! Nor the ease of which this fear seems to infect those around me! One can not turn the news on without being bombarded with some form of fear-mongering! Anxiety will negatively affect the body as well as twisting one’s emotions totally outta sync. I believe that the evil one uses his fear as a massive tool to cause folks to wanta cower down and hide!
The Word of God says in 2 Timothy 1:7 –
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind!
For me, I’ve had to practice taking down those thoughts of fear! In fear’s place, I put peace and hope. I’ve had to learn to take my thoughts can see how well they line up with Philippians 4:8.
In Philippians 4:8 we read, ‘Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.’
We do have a choice! We do not have to live our lives in fear, cowered like some beaten animal or person in the corner curled up in the fetal position! That is NOT who we were created to be!
No! If Jesus Christ lives in you, then you have His same anointing!
You have the power over the enemy!
You need to start practicing that more and more each day!
So, here’s what I encourage you to do!
When you begin to realize you’re feeling afraid!
Three steps to help overcome fearful thoughts.
Check your thoughts.
>If you need to, then write down at least three thoughts you are having.
2. Compare those thoughts with Philippians 4:8
>Are those thoughts noble, pure, praiseworthy, etc? If not, then get rid of them!
3. Change your activity.
>During this craziness of 2020, I’ve realized when I get to thinking negative, fearful thoughts, I need to change my trajectory.
Do some jumping jacks!
Go for a walk!
Brush your teeth!
Clean the fridge out!
Make your bed!
Write a thank you card!
Balance your checkbook!
Sweep the floor!
Play with the kids!
Praise the Lord loudly!
Anything to redirect your mind onto something positive!
You can overcome fear with His truth!
You are not alone either! That’s another huge lie the devil wants us to believe! Many near you are struggling as well. Reach out, if possible, to others and offer encouragement.
Recently, my husband and I were able to head to the Smokie mountains for refreshing and recharging! I so love being in the mountains! They speak to me and offer peace to my soul! When we were on top of Clingman’s Dome I read one of the signs that were posted. It spoke of how the Cherokee people sought healing in those mountains. I believe it is true!
I’ve often wondered if green is God’s favorite color. He sure did create many shades of it for us to enjoy! Or at least I do. I love escaping to the woods, getting out in nature, finding a safe spot to sit and meditate. I’ve taken to the woods for safety and comfort since I was a little girl needing to escape the ‘red-hot pain’ that threatened to engulf me from all the child abuse. And I still find great peace in the underbelly of the woods! I’m so thankful we have a wooded area on our property!
On our trip, we met some of the most intriguing people. I enjoy engaging with others, asking questions encouraging them to share their story. We met people from all around the world. One thing I took away from our trip was that people, no matter their skin color, just wanta be valued and loved and respected! That’s all!
How have we as a society gotten to where we are today? Fussing, feuding, fighting, blaming others all contribute to unrest and fear. These contribute to our problems, not offer healing solutions. I personally do not believe it’s a statue problem or even a virus problem. No, it’s a heart problem!
But who’s willing to sit down at the table and talk about our problems instead of destroying lives and property? Is someone willing to tear off the scab of old wounds to get down the root of the problem where it’s nasty and oozing with toxins? Who’s willing to listen?
Who’s willing to sit with that person until healing takes place? I wonder how many would do so.
Sadly, there are few folks who are willing to get down in the ditch of life to help others up. I’m so thankful to those who were willing to help me get up out of the ditch I was living in and embrace freedom in Jesus Christ! Without Him, I’m sure I’d be dead or living a horrible life!
Are you a ditch digger willing to help others climb out?! It does take all kinds to make the world go round. And one truth for sure we cannot escape is that when any one of us is cut, we all bleed red!
I can’t help but wonder if, during this lockdown, we haven’t been called to examine ourselves more closely. I know I have and there are numerous areas I’ve found lacking! How are we choosing to help others? How are we conducting our self? What are our values?
One area I have been studying is fear. Never in all my sixty years have I witnessed such a worldwide mass hysteria of fear! Fear is NOT of God! To me, it’s like common sense and thinking for one’s self was thrown out the window! We are told countless times in the Bible to ‘fear not’!
It’s sometimes hard to not give in to that spirit of fear when it’s raging all around you. Thankfully, when Jesus lives in us, we have much to hope in! We put our hope and trust in Him then fear has no authority or right to torment us! May we all gain that truth and put fear on the run!
It is my prayer that if you are struggling with fear you will soon find peace and comfort. That you will rest in Him and gain wisdom that will guide you on your path!
Have you suddenly found yourself a school teacher?
Are you experiencing various emotions you hadn’t noticed before?
I’m pretty sure it’s normal!
I remember back in 2011 at the time when I was living in Joplin, Missouri when an EF5 tornado ripped through the city how our normal was forever changed. So many people underwent a life change after that! Whew! I know I sure did!
For me, I sought the assistance of a qualified, trauma counselor to help me navigate the changes my life was undergoing. It was hard in the beginning but as time went on I found myself growing stronger! That’s a good thing!
Anytime we walk through a major life-altering situation we will experience change. It stands to reason.
I have begun to hear folks say things like, “Well, I’ll be so glad when everything goes back to normal!”
I’m sorry but I do not believe that will ever happen!
Imagine you’re doing a load of laundry. You accidentally throw in a red shirt into a load of whites. Oh no! Now you have pink towels, undies and so on. You can’t go back and pull out all the red die.
The demolition crew comes out and tears the house down clearing the way for a parking lot. The bad thing is, the read the address incorrectly and tore down the wrong house! You can’t go back to the point in time before the wrecking ball hit that first board!
Once you speak those words, whether good or bad, you can not shove them back in your mouth and in your mind. Once released, they’re gone!
So it is with change!
Once we undergo change our world is forever changed! Now that doesn’t have to mean a bad thing necessarily. It simply means we must all learn how to ebb and flow with changes that life brings our way in a healthy manner!
Because of a very traumatic, violent childhood and domestic violence, I have fought the spirit of fear all my life! I’d say over the past five years or so I am learning more and more how to turn and face said fear!
Now, in the past, I’d begin to fear a situation, person, etc and end up almost paralyzed with fear to the point of not being able to make a rash decision. Fear will cause us to act and think irrationally!
In my mind, I would grow this thing I feared to a giant, extra-large size; a size so large that there was no way I could ever overcome it. Therefore, the spirit of fear had successfully grabbed hold of my mind, my thoughts and my actions. It had me in its clutches!
That is until I began to gain tiny victories in facing said fears and overcoming them!
Begin with small steps
If need be, make a list of fears you’d like to overcome
Write out small steps needed to do so
Reward yourself when you successfully face each fear
In June we placed my mom under Hospice care. She’d developed two large blood clots, one in each lung. There was medicine she could have taken to help reduce those and extend her life but after talking with her, she was adamant that she did not want medicine. Her words, “I’m ready to go see Jesus and Tommy!” He was her husband who’d passed years ago. So I told them to leave her be!
When you’re the POA (Power of Attorney) for someone it’s a huge responsibility. Even though I’d rather have her around for years to come, I had to consider her wishes and quality of life. Not only was mom dealing with the effects of these blood clots but she also had dementia. She had good days and bad days.
However, in the beginning, when my husband and I would go visit her she had some really good ones. Days I will forever cherish! Visits I will be forever thankful for!
On one of those good days, she apologized to me for every bad thing that had ever happened in my life. She also apologized to my beloved for when she’d worked with an attorney to split us up in 1980. She often looked me with such love in her eyes and told me, “You sure are beautiful!” Words I’d never heard growing up.
We also talked about the books I’m writing. She’d read the first one, Secrets in the Hollers. Book two, Secrets Exposed, is soon to be released. Several times she told me, “You know, don’t you, that your books are going to help many people heal from what they had to live through!”
Again, wow! Those words were like a soothing balm to my wounded soul because all I’d heard growing up and into adulthood from my mother was how worthless and sorry I was. How I’d never amount to anything. Now I know those were lies spoken by the enemy through my mother!
When she apologized to my husband, she looked at him sincerely and told him how sorry she was for interfering in our marriage and causing so much pain but she couldn’t stand the thought of him ‘taking my baby away’. It was so good and so healing to hear her say those words. I am thankful that God has helped me walk this path finding that I am able, with His help, of forgiving others!
During her last week on earth, I found out that she had a number of documented different personalities. I’ve prayed about whether or not to share this information but if it can help one person, one family, to overcome mental illness then it’s worth it. Many years ago when I first began my own healing journey I was documented to having at least 16. It’s not prideful that I share that but truth!
And why did both my mother and I have multiple personalities?
Because of the horrific trauma, we both suffered in childhood from terrible ongoing child abuse! I have traced abuse back on my mother’s and father’s side at least for four/five generations! Abuse is a generational curse! But it can be broken! I have and you can too!
It angers me when I hear others say things like, well, we just didn’t want anyone to know; or, you know, it just is how we are; or other hogwash! Well, go on! Live life in an abusive state. Don’t step up and step out to make healthier decisions. Wait! I guess that sounds a bit harsh! Well, shoot! Truly we’re either part of the problem or the solution. I’ve decided I want to be part of the solution which means shining a spotlight on the horrors of abuse! Even if I have to do so alone! One of those ways I do so is in my writings and through the non-profit, we have formed!
On Oct 17thBroken Pieces No More, Inc, a faith-based, not for profit will be hosting our first annual event to help raise awareness of domestic violence, Hope for All, at Rocky Hollow in Somerset, Ky. No one deserves to be abused.
We are helping to raise awareness on various forms of abuse and provide direction for healthy choices of healing. We will have vendors who will be selling items as well as providing information. National Impressionist/Singer Kevin Adams will provide entertainment from 5:30-7:00. Our program will be held from 7:00-8:30. Mayor Keck and County Judge Kelley will be sharing encouraging words and we’ll have a demonstration from East West Karata for women’s safety! And more!
Feel free to contact us: email@example.com or follow us on facebook: Broken Pieces No More Inc where we post regular updates. You can also follow my blog: pamelarichardswoodall.com
Recently, my husband and I placed my mother under Hospice care. That was a hard decision! My mother and I have had a perilous relationship all my life. We never connected in a healthy mother-daughter relationship which has caused me to repeat many of those unhealthy learned behaviors. I’m thankful for those in my life and my relationship with Jesus for helping me see the need to create healthy behaviors and boundaries, and to quickly forgive! Nope…not always easy but necessary!
These past weeks as I’ve watched this woman who carried me in her womb and gave birth to me deteriorate, weaken, fall many times, retreat to her childhood, shrink back in morbid fear from whatever demons may be haunting her….I’ve realized I’ve been given a precious gift. And I grabbed it with both hands.
I have traced child abuse back five generations on both sides of my family. Abuse has been a generational curse but for me, it has stopped. I’ve had to do a lot of forgiving but it’s necessary if I am to gain healing and freedom. I chose to forgive my mother which has also led me to forgive her mother and even her mother for not knowing how to bestow on each daughter, in turn, healthy nurturing a mother should be able to willingly do.
We become what we are taught in our childhood whether good or bad. When we are children it is never our fault for the bad things that happen. But when we become an adult, it is our responsibility to seek our Father’s healing through prayer, studying the Word, and seeking godly counselors with an on purpose determination to overcome the lies of the enemy to become the man or woman God designed us to be.
I found this article in Psychology Today about the wounds daughters receive when the mother-daughter relationship is unhealthy.
We as mothers do have the ability to turn things around. It is our responsibility to gain healing for ourselves plus teach our daughters and granddaughters how wonderfully special they are! It’s time to stop the cycle of teaching them they are worthless or stupid and will never amount to anything and so much worse! Those are lies from the enemy! Search the Word of God to gain His truth of what He says about you and your children!
For the past several weeks when we’ve visited my mom we’ve been blessed with some good visits: Not all visits have been good. When she’s been alert, she has given us a very special gift! She has apologized to my beloved husband and myself for the hurts she’s caused in our life!
(There have been many wounds that have created a deep chasm down through the fabric of time that can never be changed nor the consequences for those actions. But we learn what we can to grow into a better person and make the choice to not repeat the cycle.)
That for me is huge!! I view these conversations as a sweet gift from God to redeem the past and apply the balm of Gilead to those wounds my soul has carried for many years. And healing my mother’s soul!
I have no idea when she will pass. Doctors say it could happen today or several months from now. She has two large blood clots in her lungs. She’s beginning to eat less and falls frequently. It hurts my heart to see her having to live this way but I know God’s got it! I’m thankful for the blessings I’ve been given. Doesn’t mean it hurts less for I still have a lot of emotional pain but I’m learning to let go and give it to Him! And I am grateful for every visit I get with her especially when she’s alert and we can laugh and enjoy being together!
I’ve made her funeral plans. I know some may think that morbid but I’d rather do it now when there’s less stress than wait till the time is here when the stress will be greater. She says she’s ready to go and is leaving the arrangements up to my husband and me. It will be a sweet home-going! I plan to speak at her home-doing celebration to share the positive things about her and to share also that mental health is so very important!
When you grow up hearing such ugly words from your mother plus all the other abuses, it rips your soul especially from a mother to a daughter. But when you do receive the opportunity to hear your mother look you squarely in the eye and say, “I am sorry I hurt you!” Or, “You are so beautiful!” Or, “I’m so proud of you!” Or, “I know your books are going to help so many people!” It makes your soul gain deep inner healing and soar as it was meant to be!
I am praying for the relationship you have with your mother, whether she’s alive or passed, whether you’re a son or daughter! It matters! I care! May God through His precious Son, Jesus Christ, touch your soul in a deep way to bring healing!
Please feel to follow us in our new group, Broken Pieces No More, on facebook.
I recently had an opportunity to visit with a friend who’d grown up not far from where I did. We hadn’t seen each other in ages nor had we visited at length as we did yesterday. I walked away from that visit both feeling validated and saddened at the same time. Validated that someone else knew the truth to my story, yet sad because no one stepped forward to rescue the little girl who was being abused.
As she and I began to talk she described what I had thought had been kept secret from the community all those long years ago. After all, grandma was often known to yell, “Now, what will the neighbors think?” I grew up believing I had to please the neighbors, (people pleasing is not good). Back then that’d put fear coursing all throughout my being, now I don’t give a flip! I refuse to give others power over me any longer. (Truthfully, I am working on this one!)
While we sat there talking she began to whisper how she remembered hearing her parents and grandparents talk in a worried way about my safety and well-being. She told me that they prayed a lot for me because “they just knew bad things were happening to me”.
She even shared how her parents somehow heard about how my mother threw my belongings out the front door into the yard when she was trying her hardest to split my beloved and me apart. And she did succeed; however, God has a wonderful way of redeeming according to His plan and will! He put us back together!
Listening to her softly spoken words, almost as if she were embarrassed to share, of various things I’d been exposed to; things that had been done to me I was astounded that others in our community knew of the horror. Why hadn’t someone done something? I’ll never know.
Growing up in an abusive and dysfunctional home can cause many soul scars. Seeking healthy healing along my life’s path has brought me to a place in my life where I now know and fully understand that scripture where it talks about the ‘peace that passes all understanding’. Philippians 4:7 I’ve learned to guard my peace very closely!
It has taken a lot of hard work but I now know the power of forgiving others. Those who set out to do me harm, who hurt my little girl’s body. Anyone who has hurt you, it is important for you to make the effort to forgive them. Oh, not for them necessarily but for you! Holding a grudge against another is like eating poison hoping the other person dies and you end up six foot under. Not smart!
Forgive, no matter what they do to you. Acts 7:59-60 NIV ‘While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.’
We all have junk we must overcome. Or we can continue to waller in it all the days of our life not being any real to others, or our self and certainly not being active in furthering the Kingdom of God. I’m on the other side of my battles and I find when I glance back wondering how I made it, how I didn’t die. But God! Now I want to share my truth and see others gain their freedom, their healing, gain their peace of mind which passes all understanding.
You too can gain your peace of mind. I’d love to share with you. Thanks for listening. Remember, you are so very valuable and important. You are beautiful and full of life. You are special and intelligent. You are all this and more. Your Heavenly Father says so and He can’t lie.
I held the #secrets inside my heart, my inner being, for so many years. And in doing so I became very sick. I suffered from various forms of stomach issues and other physical junk.
1. I remember numerous doctors over my life time telling me I “have a nervous stomach”. I’ve dealt with diarrhea and constipation most of my life as well as intestinal issues.
2. I’ve fought severe headaches that have often put me to bed, lights out and everything quiet type pain.
3. I’ve dealt with chronic joint pain much of my life. Inside my body is a woman longing to escape the confines of skin and bone to go running through the forest unencumbered by any form of restraints…yes, maybe even butt naked!
No probably not literally but it would be so wonderful to walk my life’s path in total freedom. I do know I enjoy more liberty now than ever before! For that growth I am grateful!
*What physical issues have / are you dealing with because you’ve felt forced to keep the secrets?
Oh wouldn’t it be radical if we who have suffered childhood trauma learned that by releasing/telling the secrets we in fact would expedite our own healing and take back our power?!?
You can do your own research to confirm how emotional healing will in fact heal physical problems. I have and I also know from my own personal experience this is true.
All of these are important to my well being and yours as well.
I chose to walk my healing path with Jesus leading the way for without Him I have no doubt I’d be either dead or in an insane asylum! I am so stinkin blessed!
What about you?
How are you gaining ground on your healing path?
I encourage you to take a step today towards your healing!
Because you my friend are so very worth the effort!
I’m praying for you this day!!
Have the best day you can have right where you’re at!
Secrets! We all have them! We all are carries of the secrets. But how many of us are able to make the decision to stop doing so?
I have decided that I will have #secretsnomore !!
I carried them for many years…only to end up bruised, battered, and almost beaten down to where I could rise no more! For over half of my life I carried those dark, destructive secrets down on the inside of my soul which almost killed me. But God had other plans!
So I’m learning to heal and share my story of what I experienced and how I have overcome!
Now, today, I am a woman who is set on enjoying this life I’ve been given to the fullest! I have a wonderful husband who is also my soulmate! He is my biggest encourager and supporter!
I chose to not keep their secrets any longer!
Why should I? Most of those abusers are dead now anyway but even if not, I still refuse to keep their secrets!
What secrets have you been keeping?
In my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, I share bits and pieces in a fictional setting of what I experienced back in the hollers of Kentucky. I will soon be releasing book two, Secrets Exposed, and am hoping to have book three, which is as yet untitled, published before the end of the year.
My husband and I are also writing our story spanning over 40 years, Soul Mates: A story of Redemption!
He has been encouraging me to write My Truth: The Story behind the Secrets which will be autobiographical. Whew..that will be a challenging one for sure!
I encourage you to begin telling one secret. It starts with a small step, a determination, a knowing that you, my friend, are really worth the effort to gain the healing of your soul you deserve! You are special and you are very worthy!
I am hear to listen to your story, to tell your secrets to. No one should have to carry such a heavy burden!
What secret are you willing to share today?
You too can begin today by having #secretsnomore !
Feel free to email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Follow me on face book at Author Pamela Richards Woodall.