Ecclesiastes 3 tells that there is a time and season for many things under Heaven. Right now this is my time of healing.
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
But how do I heal?
That I do not know!
What is healing?
This is what google tells me, the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.
Wow…boy oh, do I need that!
And where do I even begin?
Was I ever healthy?
I’m honestly not sure!
I’ve had professionals tell me I should be in an insane asylum or dead because of the horrific amount of trauma I’ve experienced.
>Trafficked to men in the community until I was 11 years old to pay the ‘light bill‘ each month.
>Massive amounts of child abuse: physical, sexual, neglect, psychological.
>Given enemas’ over and over to ‘get the devil outta me’.
>Groomed to obey whatever ever was told to me.
And so much more.
I write about this and more in my latest book, House Full of Secrets: Human Trafficking and Redemption.
All of my books are available on Kindle or Amazon in paperback. A portion of all book sales goes to Broken Pieces No More Inc, a nonprofit my husband, a dear friend and I formed to raise awareness of child abuse and human trafficking.
Right now with all that’s going on I am stepping back from most areas and focusing on gaining my own deep, inner healing. If I’m not healed then I won’t be of much use to others. It is imperative that I gain my own healing as I want to be instrumental in helping others who have trod a similar path as I have. #healingispossible
We all need healing for we’ve all been hurt in some manner.
What are you hoping to heal within?
It is possible!
And you are not alone, no matter how much you or the enemy tries to convince you of..it’s a lie!
Never allow anyone to deny you this unique opportunity to gain that necessary healing either.
I pray you will be able to join me on a similar journey and grab hold of the healing you deserve.
I sat and watched them lower your casket in the ground. I know some may think I’m morbid but for me that’s closure. I know it was only your body as you are now in Heaven with Jesus! And that reason alone causes me to rejoice!
Yet I miss you so very much!
I’ll never again hear you say, “Honey, I love you too!”
Even so, I’d never wanta bring you back to this earth with all that’s going on! You are in a much better place now!
So for this season, I will grieve and I will mourn your passing.
I will allow myself to feel all the feelings and emotions and I will grow all the better for it!
I will closely guard the precious memories of you I have!
And I will learn from this relationship and hopefully, allow my others to grow as a result.
I don’t fully understand the process of grieving, of mourning but I am learning and growing.
My mom passed in September 2019 and my daddy died in December 2020.
My sweet mother in law, who is more of a momma to me, is in her end of life phase. Of course we never know when that final day will be..yet…we must grieve!
I have had to acknowledge I am not in a good place right now! I know it’s a part of life but still…I don’t like being here. Nevertheless, here I am and there I shall go and in the going I will gain healing and His peace!
I’ve realized over the past few weeks as we are preparing for the home going of my mother in law, I haven’t really allowed myself to grieve the loss of both my parents. Wow…the onslaught of emotions is huge!
How do you deal with grief?
My old way, which was to pretty much avoid the subject all together, hasn’t worked out too good yet!
Matter of fact, I will be seeing a grief counselor beginning next week for a season.
I encourage anyone in need to see professional help with any mental health issue.
Given the day we now live in with fear being spewed forth on all fronts, we are on overload! We hear fear based noise all day long…if we have the medium going. I chose to turn mine off!!
You do have that choice! Although many would like us to think we don’t!
Yes we do!
Yes you do!
Yes I do!
I want to make healthy choices for my life! As I’m walking through this season of grief I must make sure to destress often or I’ll be on grief overload which is not good for anyone!
Hanging out in nature helps me with destressing a lot!
Writing in my journal helps too. I dump feelings, emotions, thoughts no matter what. It helps me to get ’em all out so hopefully I’ll not pick ’em up again. Sometimes I do though then need to do the dumping all over again! Practice!
I encourage you to be active in processing your grief or even fear! Both can play havoc with our being. Make sure to take time for you because you are so worth it!
Here, where I live, it’s raining. Messed up my yard/gardening plans but there’s always more work to be done so I will be busy today.
One of my goals for today is to edit at least 3 chapters in my soon to be released book, ‘House Full of Secrets’ Spreading Hope in Truth’. My goal is to release this 4th book I’ve written which is my 2nd nonfiction book by the end of May of this year. I’ve realized if I don’t give myself a deadline date then who knows when I’ll finish.
Yesterday my beloved and I worked out in the yard. He is a huge help around here. I truly don’t know what I’d do without him. Actually I never really wanta find out! He is a humongous blessing and I love him beyond words!
I’ve been battling a kidney issue which really stinks cuz it slows me down. Maybe I need to slow down and just breathe….I dunno! So am taking my cranberry pills and drinking extra water. Also being kinder with myself today. We all need to do that, right?
So, how’s your Monday rolling along?
I do pray it’s manageable but if not, then that you will gain fresh wisdom on what you may need to adjust and feel Abba’s sweet peace.
Today where I live we’re supposed to receive snow. I enjoy a good snow. However, today it is grey and overcast. Sad looking!
I am making myself rest making no major decisions. My whole being is tired and drained.
I find myself traveling from one point to the other in our home. From organizing in my office to decluttering the kitchen and living room to putting laundry away.
I am so very thankful my beloved husband is home on vacation. It is so safe feeling having him here.
My grief is still fresh and real and palpating throughout my being.
I miss my daddy!
This next Tuesday we’ll lay him in his final resting place. I’d so hoped to have the Honor Guard attending but no, these lockdowns won’t allow that!
I’ve been reading a book pertaining to grieving for ones parent. I’m not sure if I’m on track or not. I do have several close friends I check in with who keep me on track.
Time. Time is supposed to heal all wounds. I chose to repeatedly take my pain to Jesus. He understands very well!
I greatly miss our son and his family. They live 700 miles away so we wont spend Christmas together this year! Hurts my heart!
This Christmas I chose to be kind to me. My beloved and I are talking and watching movies. Right now we’re watching The Lord of the Rings movies. We’re making plans and goals for 2021 with our publishing company as well as our ministry. Plans are good.
I chose on purpose to focus on the positive.
3 Points of Positives
1. God is my Poppa; Jesus is my Lord and Holy Spirit is my Comforter
2. This is only a season. It did not come to stay. I will adjust my sails and move forward!
3. Self care is vital. Much like when an oxygen mask falls in a descending airplane, we individually must practice self care to be able to care for others.
I pray your Christmas Eve is a Happy and contended one.
It’s a sunny morning. My desk sits in front of the window facing east here in the office. I have the curtains half-way pulled to block the sun from shining directly in my eyes. I will not complain, though, for I know there are days ahead where a layer of thick clouds will block out the sun.
And how often that can apply to life around us!
On days like today, the sun is bright, and we can see clearly. I don’t know bout you, but there are those times if I go for days not seeing the sun, I begin to get depressed. I learn to change my perspective and try to focus on the positive around me, then even though I may not see the source of that bright light overhead.
No matter what will happen, the sun will never stop shinning. However, there will be many times that storms will invade our lives and the clouds will try to block out the sun’s warm glow!
I grow concerned for our country, yes, even our world right now!
Just yesterday, the governor of our state decided to implement yet more lockdowns, mandates and such. This causes me great concern especially for the mental health of children and adults for we were not created to stay cooped up! Nor were we created to live with such fear!
I try not to bash anyone, for that does no good. And yes, a thousand times yes, I do pray for our leaders as we’re told in God’s word. And when my mind gets all jumbly with the ‘what-if’s’ and the fear, I must take control of that thought pattern and choose on purpose to put my trust in God. It’s simply not always easy!
Fear is a very real and present danger!
In my 60 years, I have never seen fear so rampant! Nor the ease of which this fear seems to infect those around me! One can not turn the news on without being bombarded with some form of fear-mongering! Anxiety will negatively affect the body as well as twisting one’s emotions totally outta sync. I believe that the evil one uses his fear as a massive tool to cause folks to wanta cower down and hide!
The Word of God says in 2 Timothy 1:7 –
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind!
For me, I’ve had to practice taking down those thoughts of fear! In fear’s place, I put peace and hope. I’ve had to learn to take my thoughts can see how well they line up with Philippians 4:8.
In Philippians 4:8 we read, ‘Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.’
We do have a choice! We do not have to live our lives in fear, cowered like some beaten animal or person in the corner curled up in the fetal position! That is NOT who we were created to be!
No! If Jesus Christ lives in you, then you have His same anointing!
You have the power over the enemy!
You need to start practicing that more and more each day!
So, here’s what I encourage you to do!
When you begin to realize you’re feeling afraid!
Three steps to help overcome fearful thoughts.
Check your thoughts.
>If you need to, then write down at least three thoughts you are having.
2. Compare those thoughts with Philippians 4:8
>Are those thoughts noble, pure, praiseworthy, etc? If not, then get rid of them!
3. Change your activity.
>During this craziness of 2020, I’ve realized when I get to thinking negative, fearful thoughts, I need to change my trajectory.
Do some jumping jacks!
Go for a walk!
Brush your teeth!
Clean the fridge out!
Make your bed!
Write a thank you card!
Balance your checkbook!
Sweep the floor!
Play with the kids!
Praise the Lord loudly!
Anything to redirect your mind onto something positive!
You can overcome fear with His truth!
You are not alone either! That’s another huge lie the devil wants us to believe! Many near you are struggling as well. Reach out, if possible, to others and offer encouragement.
Recently, my husband and I were able to head to the Smokie mountains for refreshing and recharging! I so love being in the mountains! They speak to me and offer peace to my soul! When we were on top of Clingman’s Dome I read one of the signs that were posted. It spoke of how the Cherokee people sought healing in those mountains. I believe it is true!
I’ve often wondered if green is God’s favorite color. He sure did create many shades of it for us to enjoy! Or at least I do. I love escaping to the woods, getting out in nature, finding a safe spot to sit and meditate. I’ve taken to the woods for safety and comfort since I was a little girl needing to escape the ‘red-hot pain’ that threatened to engulf me from all the child abuse. And I still find great peace in the underbelly of the woods! I’m so thankful we have a wooded area on our property!
On our trip, we met some of the most intriguing people. I enjoy engaging with others, asking questions encouraging them to share their story. We met people from all around the world. One thing I took away from our trip was that people, no matter their skin color, just wanta be valued and loved and respected! That’s all!
How have we as a society gotten to where we are today? Fussing, feuding, fighting, blaming others all contribute to unrest and fear. These contribute to our problems, not offer healing solutions. I personally do not believe it’s a statue problem or even a virus problem. No, it’s a heart problem!
But who’s willing to sit down at the table and talk about our problems instead of destroying lives and property? Is someone willing to tear off the scab of old wounds to get down the root of the problem where it’s nasty and oozing with toxins? Who’s willing to listen?
Who’s willing to sit with that person until healing takes place? I wonder how many would do so.
Sadly, there are few folks who are willing to get down in the ditch of life to help others up. I’m so thankful to those who were willing to help me get up out of the ditch I was living in and embrace freedom in Jesus Christ! Without Him, I’m sure I’d be dead or living a horrible life!
Are you a ditch digger willing to help others climb out?! It does take all kinds to make the world go round. And one truth for sure we cannot escape is that when any one of us is cut, we all bleed red!
I can’t help but wonder if, during this lockdown, we haven’t been called to examine ourselves more closely. I know I have and there are numerous areas I’ve found lacking! How are we choosing to help others? How are we conducting our self? What are our values?
One area I have been studying is fear. Never in all my sixty years have I witnessed such a worldwide mass hysteria of fear! Fear is NOT of God! To me, it’s like common sense and thinking for one’s self was thrown out the window! We are told countless times in the Bible to ‘fear not’!
It’s sometimes hard to not give in to that spirit of fear when it’s raging all around you. Thankfully, when Jesus lives in us, we have much to hope in! We put our hope and trust in Him then fear has no authority or right to torment us! May we all gain that truth and put fear on the run!
It is my prayer that if you are struggling with fear you will soon find peace and comfort. That you will rest in Him and gain wisdom that will guide you on your path!
Have you suddenly found yourself a school teacher?
Are you experiencing various emotions you hadn’t noticed before?
I’m pretty sure it’s normal!
I remember back in 2011 at the time when I was living in Joplin, Missouri when an EF5 tornado ripped through the city how our normal was forever changed. So many people underwent a life change after that! Whew! I know I sure did!
For me, I sought the assistance of a qualified, trauma counselor to help me navigate the changes my life was undergoing. It was hard in the beginning but as time went on I found myself growing stronger! That’s a good thing!
Anytime we walk through a major life-altering situation we will experience change. It stands to reason.
I have begun to hear folks say things like, “Well, I’ll be so glad when everything goes back to normal!”
I’m sorry but I do not believe that will ever happen!
Imagine you’re doing a load of laundry. You accidentally throw in a red shirt into a load of whites. Oh no! Now you have pink towels, undies and so on. You can’t go back and pull out all the red die.
The demolition crew comes out and tears the house down clearing the way for a parking lot. The bad thing is, the read the address incorrectly and tore down the wrong house! You can’t go back to the point in time before the wrecking ball hit that first board!
Once you speak those words, whether good or bad, you can not shove them back in your mouth and in your mind. Once released, they’re gone!
So it is with change!
Once we undergo change our world is forever changed! Now that doesn’t have to mean a bad thing necessarily. It simply means we must all learn how to ebb and flow with changes that life brings our way in a healthy manner!
Because of a very traumatic, violent childhood and domestic violence, I have fought the spirit of fear all my life! I’d say over the past five years or so I am learning more and more how to turn and face said fear!
Now, in the past, I’d begin to fear a situation, person, etc and end up almost paralyzed with fear to the point of not being able to make a rash decision. Fear will cause us to act and think irrationally!
In my mind, I would grow this thing I feared to a giant, extra-large size; a size so large that there was no way I could ever overcome it. Therefore, the spirit of fear had successfully grabbed hold of my mind, my thoughts and my actions. It had me in its clutches!
That is until I began to gain tiny victories in facing said fears and overcoming them!
Begin with small steps
If need be, make a list of fears you’d like to overcome
Write out small steps needed to do so
Reward yourself when you successfully face each fear