Sittin’ with Grief

I’m sitting here in my office at home, looking out my window that faces east. The sun is illuminating the hill in front of me with its beautiful glow.

As I’ve begun my day, I’ve found myself being angry and then wanting to burst out into toe-nail-jerking sobbing!

Why?

What’s wrong with you? I ask myself!

Grief!

Pure ole grief!

I miss her!

I miss them!

So many thems….

Those I considered parents other than my birth parents…
Sweet, sweet mother-in-love…..she gave birth to my beloved and taught me so much about unconditional love and being strong!
My amazing father-in-love who worked so extremely hard his whole life with a severe physical condition….he rarely complained or stopped doing what he needed to do. And he loved fiercely!


I get really weeping just thinking about them!

And those who were like my parents..strong, loving, caring, supportive….putting action to their words!

Including my own parents, they’re all gone now!

No longer here on this earth but, I believe, in a new location awaiting when I, too, will join them!

Today I give myself permission to cry, to be angry, to stomp my foot, to collapse in a heap of heartache, to grieve, to mourn!

And if need be, I will do the same tomorrow.

I will guard this sweet time of grieving for those now gone.
I will allow myself to reflect on those sweet memories of days gone by.
I will be glad in my heart that I was so very blessed to have each of these individuals in my life.
I will sit near my grief and find strange comfort.
Grief lets me know I have feelings that are raw and sometimes unexplainable!
Grief lets me know I’m alive and well!

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Grief also prompts me to put all my affairs in order.
>Write my last wishes.
>Plan my funeral.
>Write out all the connecting information for business accounts for my hubby.
>And make sure it is well with my soul!

Grief will strike all of us sooner or later.

Grief is not necessarily a bad thing, emotion. It just hurts like crazy!

Today I grieve!

In a few days, I will rejoice!

By pamelarichardswoodall

Wife to my amazing soulmate, author, visionary, business owner, enjoying life adventures, a survivor of many forms of abuse.

3 comments

    1. Thanks so much!

      My grieving process began in Sept 2019 after my mom passed. Ours was not the typical mother-daughter relationship but one full of suffering and abuse. Still, I found myself grieving so very much!
      Lost my dad in Dec 2020 then my precious mother in love in Aug 2021.
      It was during all that grieving that I realized I needed to give myself permission to mourn the loss of my innocence! Wow…that was huge. And an incredible self journey to gain even more inner healing!
      This year, 2023, I am excited to discover where this journey leads me!
      Healed and being healed!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I remember when you shared feelings about the loss of your mother and how the grief process was more complicated and why. Yet you forgave and loved. Then boom, another loss, then another. So hard. At the same time it is so painful, growth continues, and healing because that is what you choose and keep choosing.

        Like

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