Writing is My Dream! What’s Yours?

I #amwriting for it soothes my soul and calms the savage beast in me that threatens to rise up out of my being and consume all within its path…..or so it seems.

Writing clears my head and helps me stay focused. Writing helps to get the words outta my head and on to paper…yes I still do the old fashion writing when I journal…but mainly use my laptop. Writing has been for many years, my friend!

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It is so wonderfully exciting to have my first book published and on Amazon Kindle.

 

Of course I want you to buy my book and read it for it is an amazing story about hope and overcoming much adversity of the past! I also believe this book is a wonderful resource for any counselor, teacher, doctor, etc to have in their personal library. Why? Because this book is written based on a true story: Mine!

This book offers hope and healing! It offers those who have been effected by abuse in any form a way to rise up out of the deep, dark hole so many times we find ourselves in to where we can begin to see the light of day, a ray of sunshine, a glimmer of hope! Hope! It’s what the world needs more of!

Mainly I want you to know to NEVER give up on your dream no matter what it is! I’ve been fighting for mine for many years and now I see the reality of my book in paperback and on Kindle! That is so amazing!!

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You have within you a dream!
What is it? Do you know?

I’d love to hear from you and help you discover what your dream is!

Give me a holler sometime. Maybe we can meet for a cup of coffee or over a cyber cup!

Have a sweet evening and remember to dream! They do come true!

I can’t wait to hear your dream!

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Do you rest?

Rest.

Do you?

Do you rest enough?

Not enough rest contributes to more stress. That we don’t need.

I think choosing to rest requires strength.

Rest.

Calm ones being.

Rest is good for the soul.

Rset and calm yourself!

Peace for your being.

Child Abuser: Compassion or Death

Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me!

I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t considering all I’ve overcome.

The deal is when I hear or read of a horrific story of child abuse my first thought is, “Are all those children now in a safe place receiving proper care and love?”

Then my next thought is, “Oh my goodness, does the abuser know how to plug into Jesus? Has anyone shown him or her compassion?”

Now granted I sure didn’t used to feel this way! I used to scream “hang that sorry-good-for-nothing-scum-bag!!”

If anyone abused an innocent child they deserved the hottest hell in my opinion!

That’s how I used to feel!

I still believe very strongly they should receive the maximum punishment. Now, I also believe that someone should present them the opportunity to repent and make their life right with God.

Yes, I’m fully aware not everyone will share my opinion and that’s okay. I don’t expect that. I’m not really expecting anything.

I just know amazing grace saved me from a big ole boat load of crap I’ve done. No doubt that same amazing grace can save and forgive a child abuser!

That’s my prayer anyway!

Dreams Do Come True! Never Stop Dreaming!

For me, there’s something magical-feeling when I reach a goal, when I reach a milestone! This is a huge one for me! Seeing this book in print and also on Amazon Kindle! Dreams do come true!

There’s been a lot of hard work that has gone into this project. It took me almost three years to write the this book which is a work of fiction based on a true story: Mine! It took a lot of energy to write my truth for I’ve been taught from the beginning of my time that I was to never tell the secrets or I’d get in bad trouble! And, “Do you want me to hurt your mommy like this? Well, if you tell that’s what will happen!”  These words were spoken to me from my early childhood on by one of my main perpetrators!

Now I tell my truth wherever a door is opened to do so! I am no longer ashamed of my truth! I also realize so many others are living with their shame because no one has yet come along side them to offer a voice to help bring hope and healing.

I first published it under Tate Publishing which is now out of business so when you search on Amazon disregard the first book. You’ll know which one it is cuz someone jacked the price up super high! We are working to have the old one deleted.

I decided to rewrite and republish this book, which is the first in a three part series, on the secrets that went on behind my closed doors dealing with various forms of abuse. Book two, Secrets Exposed, will be released by fall 2018. My wonderful husband and I formed our own publishing company, Oak Tree Publishing Companyand I am so pleased with the finished product.

Sandy Hawk of @GoodHopeDesigns created the beautiful cover. She did a great job!! It is a very special picture for me as it’s of my aunt and uncles home where I gained a lot of healing!

 

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This version could easily be used as a study or reference book on childhood abuse as I included more information in this rewrite pertaining to the cycle of generational abuse as I’ve traced mine back for several generations on both sides of my family in some degree or other. I also share some of the methods that helped me gain the healing and freedom I have found. Hope is possible after abuse!

It hasn’t been that long ago I was so terrible resentful and angry that I had gone through what I did as a child then on into my adult life. God is in control so why didn’t He stop it? He knew what was gonna happen!

Well, I have gained more healing and have a fresh perspective now.

Now I am so thankful for what I went through, what I experienced! If I hadn’t of then I couldn’t be a strong voice for those who haven’t yet obtained their voice.

A portion of all my book sales will go towards our nonprofit, I Am a Voice for the Voiceless, or V4VL for short!

V4VL will focus on three areas:

Liberty’s Hope-offers solutions for those facing addictions in their life;

Jenny’s Grace-provides help and hope to any who have suffered or are suffering from abusive situations and

Elijah’s Love-assists those who are in poverty or homelessness conditions.

My publisher, Oak Tree, will match all funds from the sale of my books which goes to V4VL! We are so excited about this partnership!

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I look forward to hearing from you! I’d love to hear your story!

You can follow me on here on my blog or on twitter @pamelajwoodall or facebook at: Author Pamela Richards Woodall. You can also email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Never give up on your dreams! They were given to you for a reason.

Dream on!

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I Used to Hate Mother’s Day

I used to hate Mothers Day! Until this weekend when Poppa God spoke very clearly to me that it was actually a choice I had! We all have choices to make.

Why did I hate Mother’s Day?

Because I felt I’d been cheated!

I felt I’d missed out on the fairy tale of having that sweet experience of having a loving mother to protect me from all the bad things in this world.

I did not have that at all so for many years I’d felt sorry for my self! Ahhh poor little me!

Yes, it did and has greatly hurt that I didn’t get to have that better experience; however, please allow me to share three (3) important things my mom did teach me!

1. Look for Hidden Treasures

My mom is now in a nursing home so being an only child I’ve acquired her personal effects. Last fall I was going through one of her many totes of stuff and found one stuffed full of my things!! Yes! My things!

There were baby bottles, a cloth diaper with diaper pins. Many little outfits… some of which she’d sewn herself from the feed sack material she got with huge bags of feed for the goats she raised. Those goats helped provide meat and milk for her, my grandmother and me!

And several pairs of my little shoes. There were several of my toys and books. And gobs of pictures! From birth all the way into my young adulthood. Oh goodness! I’m looking forward to creating a scrapbook of her memories with me!

Those my friends were hidden treasures I will forever cherish!

I grew up thinking my mother didn’t love me because of all the abuse that happened to me. But I believe she loved me the best she knew how, from the way she’d been taught.

Sidenote: I’ve gained more truth down through the years of how she too suffered abuse as a young child for many years!

2. Perseverance is Key

My mom was a hard worker. She worked cleaning peoples houses and often times being treated disrespectfully! But she worked. She also went back to night school when I was around nine years old to get her GED. Later she went on to obtain her CNA training!

She helped around the old home place raising huge gardens, raising goats and chickens all the while with very little help or money. Yep we were poor but I lived through it and learned a lot!

She kept going!

I have learned it takes hard work to overcome the lies of an abusive childhood!

I did not give up!

3. What NOT to do!

I was about 14 years old. We were standing in the kitchen. It was summer. I’d asked to go hang out with some of my friends. She told me ‘no’ and I smarted off so she hauled off and slapped the fire outta my left cheek.

I remember so clearly thinking that when I grew up and had kids and a family they’d always know I loved em!

In looking back there are many choices I’d made differently in my motherhood, yet I did the best I knew how to do! Without a doubt I know God helped me to grow!

I did not pass on that generational curse of abuse!

I did not withhold my love!

I did not not tell my son how much I loved him and how proud of him I was and am!!

I am choosing to celebrate today being a momma to a fabulous son and all the spiritual children Poppa God’s blessed me with!

I’m choosing to celebrate the mother I have dispute all the imperfections!

Because of her I am alive and experiencing the amazing life I’ve been blessed with!

I have an over the top husband and family!

I am one majorly blessed woman!

I pray you mothers today no matter what your circumstances will have a sweet peaceful day!

Warrior Rising Up

Some days are better than others.

Listen to your heart.

Listen for your voice for it’s in there waiting to be released!

Never allow anyone to put you down or cause you to doubt your own worth!

You really are a force to be reckoned with!

You are a #warriorrisingup

Have a wonderfully beautiful day!!

#Iamavoiceforthevoiceless

#Iamawarriorrisingup

#Iamdeeplylovedbyme

Under the Spreading Apple Tree….it happened

(Possible trigger warning)

The blooming apple tree, for me, signifies spring is indeed springing though this year there seems to be some confusion on this season if its coming or going. Its been warm then it gets really cold and even attempts to snow but that makes the seasons interesting in Kentucky! It’s never boring!

Just outside my office window this apple tree has beautiful blooms beginning with the buds then the opening plus there is a sweet, deep fragrence! Until just a few days ago I didn’t realize how lovely an apple tree smells.

For me for many long years I hated the apple tree! I dreaded to see the tree burst forth in bloom every spring with out fail. Yes, I know hate is a strong word but that’s how I felt.

That is until this year!

This year I decided to gain some control over those hateful feelings by confronting my memories associated with blooming apple trees!

You see, one of the first memories of my child abuse that returned was of me as a very young girl, laying naked on a clear sheet of plastic down in the backyard under a blooming apple tree. I remember disassociating thinking I was sitting up in that tree watching what was being done to that little girl by her uncle and grandmother thinking how horribly bad that was.

I so wanted to rescue that little girl!

I so wanted to protect her but I wasn’t able to!

I was that little girl!

April is National Child Abuse Awareness month and it’s the month apple trees are normally in bloom. Ironic.

So this week I walked out to the apple tree right outside my office window and had a good talk. I apologized to that little girl of long ago telling her how sorry I was she was ever hurt! I reminded her of her worth and value and that she was oh, so loved! And that she’s gonna do great things by telling her story to others so that they too can find their healing path!

And I spent time once again asking God to help me forgive those who had violated my being, my mind and my little girls body!

And to forgive me for holding onto unforgiveness against my abusers for so long, for not letting go of the pain and resentment sooner.

I chose on purpose to forgive them and move forward. There is way more peace in the forgiveness that in staying in the memories of the past.

Besides I’ve got way too much good to do! I’ve got more books to write! Words to share with others offering hope and help as they take necessary steps to overcome their painful past.

No one ever deserves to be abused! Ever!!

The trauma effects of child abuse afterward can be life altering but they do not necessarily have to steal your life!

You can grow and heal from child abuse!

If you need someone to be your voice until you gain yours I’d be honored to do so!

I’d love to hear your story!

You can reach out to me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

I’ve written my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, as a work of fiction based on a true story, mine!

Together we will become a force to be reckoned with!

Together we can help move many mountains!

#Iamavoiceforthevoiceless

May you have a sweet, peaceful day!

Healing Child Abuse and the Mother

She carried me in her womb for nine months and raised me until I left home. That doesn’t mean she was a good mother. Maybe she did the best she could though!

Just as there is a dash on our tombstone between our birth and death there should be a dash or some such marker from our birth until we leave home.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us God knew us before He even formed us in our mother’s womb. I used to hate that scripture because I thought it meant that God had placed me where He had, with the mother I have, on purpose knowing what would happen to me before it did. I used to think He’d planned for me to be hurt all along. That was a lie from the devil!

And the answer is ‘yes’ He did know.

I have no clue why God allowed the abuse in my life. I used to demand to know. Now I am thankful I just lived through it as sane and as healed as I am because I now know I could be dead or in an insane asylum.

My mother told me some years ago, “Well you’re no better off than I am so why shouldn’t you have been abused!” Wow…

After reading some letters she wrote to her siblings I now know just a bit of the abuse she had to endure and I know her own mother had endured abuse as well.

My husband and I went to see my mom today. She’s in a nursing home. She has started down the path of Alzheimer’s and it hurts my heart.

She and I have never had the mother / daughter relationship I so craved and still miss. I’ve learned how to glean that particular desire to be cared for and filled from God. His word tells us He is our momma and poppa as we need and right now my need of Him is to be close to me. Today it’s heavy!

Not only did God know me before He formed me; He knew that I would experience much horrific child abuse. He knew that for many years I’d battle with my mother for her part in all my pain and He knew I’d draw close to Him for my healing and learn how to release all the hurts, all the memories to Him so I could learn how to forgive my mother.

So today we visit her. She still looks the same but her mind is not the same at all. She does remember me which I’m very thankful for.

She frequently asked to go home, to the ole home place yet, she doesn’t seem to remember I too grew up there. She doesn’t remember that there’s now no home to go back to because someone burnt it down years ago.

Sometimes it scares me when she gets that look in her eyes as she demands to get out and go home. I can not help her and pray for peace over her mind.

I am so thankful God helped me to let the pain and hate and fear, of my childhood especially pertaining to my mom, go and be healed!

The old rock foundation is all that’s left standing of the home place yet time has gone on and healing has taken place in my soul.

I’m so thankful I’m now strong enough to love on her in her last years!

Everyone deserves love!

Everyone!

Who are you? 3 Ways to Rewire Your Brain.

Who are you?!?

Not what you do.

Not who your parents are.

Not who you hang out with.

Not who you’re married to.

Not what you like to do.

Who are you?

Now maybe you’ve got it down pat and know without a doubt who you are! Super great! I celebrate with and for you!

For me, it’s taken me years to realize I have been identifying with a false self, a self those in my family of origin tried to fit on me that was developed out of dysfunction and mental illness.

Now, here today I am learning who I am!

I am shaking off those false beliefs and wrapping myself in Truth! It takes time and practice but I am choosing on purpose to erase those false lies that have been on a continual loop in my mind all these years with a new vibrant, life giving message.

If I don’t make the decision to change the message I constantly hear I will never heal and become the vibrant woman I was meant to be.

You can too!

How?

1. Determine if the message, the words you hear in your head, are life giving or if instead, they make you feel dark and depressed.

You have the power to make a decision to change them so You hear life and not death!

2. Learn to catch those messages quickly and hit the ‘stop’ button in your mind!

The sooner you begin to recognize negative messages and refuse to allow them access to your mind the sooner you’ll have a healthier you!

3. Replace all negative messages with positive ones.

For me this has been the hardest cuz I’ve been so used to listening to the negative ones. Plus its just always been easier to identify with lies instead of fighting them with Truth! I didn’t feel worthy of the Truth!

However, I’m gaining strength in this area as I am now learning to write positive things about myself on sticky notes or my white board so I read them Out Loud frequently. My brain needs to hear my Truth often in order to rewire my thinking process of myself.

You can do this too!

I have faith in you!

You are bright and shinning!

You are valuable and have great worth!

You have great purpose!!

Have a wonderful day!

I’d love to hear how you’re doing!