Perseverance in My Thought Life

Perseverance. I used to hate that word, especially when reading James 1:2-5. (NIV)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I mean, come on! Who really enjoys trails and tribulation?! Not me!

 

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However, as I’ve grown in my walk I’ve begun to notice that when I push through a situation when I persevere, I gain more knowledge. That’s a good thing. We were never assured of a sweet life full of roses with no thorns. Nope, we were told that our path, if directed towards our Creator, will be narrow but the wide one would lead to destruction. We were warned that we would indeed have trials, have issues in life to deal with; however, that doesn’t mean we have to live there.

Years ago while attending a local church the pastor shared a message on ‘stinkin’ thinkin’ and it stuck with me! We’re told in Philippians 4 to guard our mind so if there’s a need to do so that must mean bad thoughts can get in our mind! Growing up as I did, in an abusive and dysfunctional home, I learned a lot of bad thoughts. Like, I wish I’d never of been born; or I’m so stupid, or I’ll never amount to anything and so on. Of course, these thoughts were spoken to me over and over by those who were supposed to have loved and protected me. They did not!

It’s taken many years and lots of on-purpose redirecting to change my thought life. I’ve had many starts and stops but I’ve also learned how to persevere! On purpose!

I had a counselor years ago help me with a visual image pertaining to redirecting my thought life. It’s like when a cow goes to the watering hole. Most usually that cow will walk the same path every day, day in and day out. Starts out a path and will eventually end up a rut…a grave with both ends kicked out. My old stinkin’ thinkin’ had done the same thing in my brain. I’d thought those same thoughts over and over that a rut had formed in my brain.

Dr. Caroline Leaf has traveled the globe as an author and public speaker examining many aspects of the neuroscience world has written many good books on having a healthy brain. You can check her out on YouTube also. She has helped me learn that I can, in fact, redirect my thought life which will, in turn, create a new path for my cows to take to their watering hole. Cool huh!?!

Those who often told me I’d never amount to anything were wrong. They were hurting in their own stuff and had not gained the healing they needed. Doesn’t make what they did right for it wasn’t. I fully believe once you become an adult it is totally your responsibility to adjust any negative or false beliefs to become a strong adult. Easy? Nope! At least it hasn’t been for me.

I now know I am a strong woman of God who has endured way more than anyone should ever have to. What I experienced as a child I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy! No child deserves to live in fear!

I challenge you today: Begin today, right now, paying close attention to what you’re thinking! You really are responsible for your own thought life. And you, with God’s help, can indeed change your thinking!

Check out Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This scripture helped me learn to change my thinking. Took lots of time and effort on my part. I still will have a rogue thought to slither into my thinking; and honestly, I still have days where those thoughts will overwhelm me to the point of going numb. However, I am so very thankful they are less.

You, my friend, can become anything you wanta be! Don’t let others words cast doubt on your dream! Go for it! Never let anyone stand in your way of becoming the best you God has destined you to be! You are so beautiful in His eyes!

I would love to hear your story! You can email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Or write to: BPNM PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502

Book 2, Secrets Exposed, in my Secret series will soon be released.

You can follow me on my facebook page at:

http://www.facebook.com/authorpamelarichardswoodall

 

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It’s ok….

It is ok….

It is ok to have a meltdown….

It is ok to hurt…..

It is ok to wonder…..

It is ok to have gobs of questions…..

It is ok to need to pull back and regroup….

And it is ok to yell and have a fit.

Just don’t stay there.

Self care is vitally important!

In today’s world of fast paced and instant gratification there comes a time one needs to pull away where it’s calm and quiet.

May you find that time!

I know I’ve suddenly found myself in need of nature and peace and quiet!

I am so looking forward to warmer temps. My soul longs for the woods!

Have a Happy Friday!

It’s still a bit early morning here. I look out my window and see a skift of snow laying on the ground. I so long for a good deep snow, at least one before the winter season is over! Since we’ve been living here on Dragonfly Farm we have yet to see and enjoy a good deep snow. I like to get out and go hiking in the snow. It’s so incredibly quiet plus I enjoy seeing footprints of various critters! Ah, well, maybe soon! We’ll see.

So here I am warm and toasty enjoying my morning coffee planning out a brand new day. This week has been stressful for some reason. Do you ever have those? Stressful weeks filled with stops and starts. I’ve also fought some really tormenting dreams which has robbed me of solid restful sleep too! Not good! Not sure why unless it’s just the devil being a punk! He does that..trying to steal, kill and destroy but he forgets he’s defeated! lol

But I am determined to have a wonderful day. Besides this is the day the Lord has made and I’m gonna have a great one! Right!?!

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I have some writing to finish up, forms to create and email out. Already kickin’ it on housework! That’s the cool thing of working from home! I bounce back and forth between both. Though sometimes I get bogged down and seem to spin my wheels. When I write out my to-do list it helps greatly!

I hope your day is good! That you are at peace and feeling rested!

You are a beautifully created unique individual! No one else can do what you’re designed to do.

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Have a wonderful Friday!

Listening but Not Hearing #nomoresecrets

I tried to tell but no one would listen!

I tried to make some noise to get their attention but they all seemed too busy to hear!

I tried to but it never seemed to be enough!

I tried.

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And when I did make a decision, when I did decide I’d had enough they began to listen.

Then they decided to not hear the truth, my truth, and they listened with tainted ears.

When I finally told they called me a lier!

When I finally decided I could no longer stay they said I was wrong!

When I finally gained enough courage to walk away they said I was a coward!

They did not know my truth!

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I’ve no doubt my truth is different from your truth! Is that okay? I’m not so sure but I know you’ll need to live with your truth the best you can. I will certainly live with mine!

And my truth has #secretsnomore !

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Sometimes I Wish…

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to pack up necessary supplies and head out deep into nature and live among the trees and the animals…drink from a cool mountain stream and listen as the trees whispered encouraging words to me.

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to stand on the highest mountain top and scream at the top of my lungs, “Enough!”

Enough hate!

Enough hurting!

Enough sadness!

Enough pain!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to stand against the assault of the coming storm instead of needing to hunker down and hide.

Sometimes I wish!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to tell that one the pain their actions are causing others. And that it’s really as simple as saying, “I’m sorry”. Or, “I forgive you!” But they don’t for whatever reason and the pain erodes a bit deeper and a bit deeper into the soul of a loved one. And it hurts!

And sometimes I wish I were brave like you. I watch you and you seem able to conquer anything that comes your way. It seems that you are able to ride the wind of storms that hit your life and always come out on top. I don’t know how you do it and I am amazed!

Sometimes I wish I was willing to throw all caution to the wind and jump! Jump and take that needed risk. But I hesitate.

Sometimes I wish I could share with you how vulnerable I feel…how open and raw! How that there are those times …like now…I long to escape the harsh realities of life and discover a slower, a softer, a less stressful side of life.

Sometimes I wish…

Ah…but this moment is ever fleeting and soon will be nothing but a mere vapor drifting on the warm updrafts lifting high over the mountains and it will be well.

Soon spring will burst forth, flowers will open up with their glorious beauty, birds will sooth my troubled soul with their chorus and the sun will bath all it touches in its golden glow.

#rape #abortion Now #secretsnomore

Triggers: rape, abortion and child abuse

We all have secrets.

I’ve learned if those secrets aren’t told, if they’re not allowed to be released then our body and mind will become infected! It’s been proven that many of our physical issues can be traced back to our holding onto secrets.

Secrets are poison!

I recently posted 3 physical areas I fought to overcome due to many years of childhood trauma. There is a vital connection.

I’m learning the freedom of telling my #secrets though not everyone is able to do so.

That’s one reason I am a #voiceforthevoiceless because not everyone has yet found his or her voice.

And not always is it easy for me to share my secrets. When I share it makes me very vunerable; however, I know how vitally important it is to speak the truth!

#Truth brings healing and freedom and a deep compassion for others who are hurting.

But it’s not all fun and good vibes! I get hate mail through emails and message on social media but I figure that’s just a few obstacles in my path.

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I woke up this morning from a dream where I was talking out loud and weeping. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t get the dream outta my consciousness so I just got up and poured my first cup of steaming hot coffee of the day.

In the dream I was a young teenager. I was standing in the principle’s office at my high school looking at a lot of fellow students through a large glass window while holding the desk microphone talking. And I was crying.

I woke up saying, “All I ever wanted was a mom to love me and accept me just as I am!”

In the dream as I’m emotionally talking suddenly the door opens and a young teen girl with long blonde hair comes towards me saying, “You have to stop talking now! You’re causing a lot of trouble!”

(No clue the importance of hair color but it was a strong image.)

This young girl was reaching towards me trying to take the Mic away from me telling me that I had to “be quiet!”

“You’re telling too much! You’ve gotta be quiet! You’ve shared too many things!”

But somehow I knew I couldn’t be quiet any longer! I had to tell my truth!

You see not long before this event I’d been raped at the football field and ended up pregnant. My mother convinced the doctor that I needed an abortion otherwise I’d go crazy and hurt myself or the baby! So they make this plan and in a few weeks I’m no longer pregnant.

I’d tried ever so hard to protect my unborn babe. My mom knew I was pregnant before I ever told her. Yet still I desperately tried to protect my baby.

The day arrived when she drove me to another city where I was scheduled to get my abortion. I was so scared but had been taught to obey whatever my mother said no matter what!

There was severe punishment if I didn’t obey.

My name was called and I was taken to an office where a well dressed woman talked to me about the “blob of flesh” they needed to remove. Not one time did she refer to the “blob” as a baby!

I was so confused and very scared! Moments later a nurse comes in to lead me down the hallway to an exam room. She has me to undress then lay on the exam table then gives me a shot.

In a short time a man in a white coat comes in and has me to put my feet in the stirrups at the foot of the exam table. I’m not sure what he’s doing but the most excruiting pain hits my abdomen. I cry out!

He tells me, not too nicely, “Just be still. It’ll be over soon!”

The pain was horrific!

I hear a vacuum like sound then a few minutes later a number of plopping sounds like something being dropped in a bucket of liquid.

It didn’t take long. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse tells me to get dressed. As I’m leaving the room I stumble over something. I look down and there on the floor at the end of the exam table is a five gallon bucket half filled with bloody looking blobs. I almost vomit!

My baby had ended up torn apart retchedly disposed of in a bucket of other babies torn apart and murdered!

I was sixteen years old.

That baby would now be 43 years old!

It’s taken a great deal of counseling, massive amounts of prayer, many sleepless nights, drugs, alcohol and more trying to move past the deep intense pain of what I’d done.

Now I have peace…oh not because of what I did but because I know God has forgiven me! It’s taken a lot for me to learn to let it go, to forgive myself and to use the horrible thing I did to hopefully help someone else!

If you’ve had an abortion there is forgiveness! And there can be peace.

I am praying for you!

I’m here to listen to your story.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

#secretsnomore brings victory

Tell me then, are you yet ready to step into #secretsnomore ?

It will require action on your part!

When you decide you’ve had enough, when you decide you deserve better you will then make a choice to change!

As long as you are tied to that secret you will walk with mental bondage!

It’s your choice!

Free mind! Free life!

Secrets poison your entire your being!

#secretsnomore is here to help you, to encourage, to listen to your secret!

You are a precious individual!

You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

You are unique!

Do you feel broken…tired…left out…undone…scared….alone…..

and much more!

You don’t have to! We are here to help!

We’d love to hear from you!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Author Pamela Richards Woodall on facebook

Yes my friend, there is indeed hope!!

How my going #secretsnomore has helped to improve 3 physical issues

I held the #secrets inside my heart, my inner being, for so many years. And in doing so I became very sick. I suffered from various forms of stomach issues and other physical junk.

1. I remember numerous doctors over my life time telling me I “have a nervous stomach”. I’ve dealt with diarrhea and constipation most of my life as well as intestinal issues.

2. I’ve fought severe headaches that have often put me to bed, lights out and everything quiet type pain.

3. I’ve dealt with chronic joint pain much of my life. Inside my body is a woman longing to escape the confines of skin and bone to go running through the forest unencumbered by any form of restraints…yes, maybe even butt naked!

No probably not literally but it would be so wonderful to walk my life’s path in total freedom. I do know I enjoy more liberty now than ever before! For that growth I am grateful!

*What physical issues have / are you dealing with because you’ve felt forced to keep the secrets?

Oh wouldn’t it be radical if we who have suffered childhood trauma learned that by releasing/telling the secrets we in fact would expedite our own healing and take back our power?!?

You can do your own research to confirm how emotional healing will in fact heal physical problems. I have and I also know from my own personal experience this is true.

#mentalhealth

#mindfulness

#lovemyself

#iamworthy

All of these are important to my well being and yours as well.

I chose to walk my healing path with Jesus leading the way for without Him I have no doubt I’d be either dead or in an insane asylum! I am so stinkin blessed!

What about you?

How are you gaining ground on your healing path?

I encourage you to take a step today towards your healing!

Why?

Because you my friend are so very worth the effort!

I’m praying for you this day!!

Have the best day you can have right where you’re at!

I’d love to hear from you!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Author Pamela Richards Woodall on face book

I keep #secretsnomore !

She sat hunched over on the tattered couch over in the corner. Maybe if she scrunched herself really hard into the soft cushions she could soon squirm down into the fabric and disappear.

Her stomach hurt from the stress and fear, groaned at the pressure of needing to talk, to share her story. Her throat was dry and she feared she’d cough which would give away that she was indeed present, here, sitting in this room, this office.

Oh she dared not look up, not to raise her head for then they surely would see the wetness that dared to leak down her face and drip silently off her quivering chin.

No! She must continue to remain strong, tough, not give in to the pleading questions asked of her! She must not allow herself to hear the compassion in the voice! She must keep her walls up for her own protection!

But she was ever weakening! She felt her resolve slipping and knew the end was near!

Gathering all her remaining energy around her she slowly lifted up her tear stained face and dates look at the old wrinkly man sitting behind the large desk.

With quivering voice she said, “Yes! That is the man who repeatedly held me down and did horrible, mean things to me!”

Then she faded away into her nothingness!

#secretsnomore

We all carry them!

We’ve been so conditioned to not tell if we know what’s good for us.

The abuser threatens us in every sorta way to make sure we are silent!

But you can tell the secret and live!

I did! I am #silentnomore because I keep #secretsnomore !

You can too!

Yes, oh my goodness gracious it’s super scary but it’s so worth it to gain your own freedom and step on your healing path!!

If you need someone to tell your secrets to I will listen.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Life is way too short to carey the burdens if others that aren’t yours to pack around!

You deserve better!

You Do Have Purpose!

In this brand new year remember to be uniquely you!

No matter what that may look like!

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Have you ever felt you weren’t enough?

Well, my friend, that was in fact a lie. A lie designed to trip you up and hopefully cause you to step off your intended path towards your purpose!

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You can do this!

You can decide #secretsnomore !!

It’s your life…it’s your decision!

Can I get a like from all those who showed up today doing the best they can do on their path of purpose!!

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Don’t let anyone tell you different!

You are amazing!

Give me a holler!

pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

#secretsnomore