Sometimes I Wish…

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to pack up necessary supplies and head out deep into nature and live among the trees and the animals…drink from a cool mountain stream and listen as the trees whispered encouraging words to me.

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to stand on the highest mountain top and scream at the top of my lungs, “Enough!”

Enough hate!

Enough hurting!

Enough sadness!

Enough pain!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to stand against the assault of the coming storm instead of needing to hunker down and hide.

Sometimes I wish!

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to tell that one the pain their actions are causing others. And that it’s really as simple as saying, “I’m sorry”. Or, “I forgive you!” But they don’t for whatever reason and the pain erodes a bit deeper and a bit deeper into the soul of a loved one. And it hurts!

And sometimes I wish I were brave like you. I watch you and you seem able to conquer anything that comes your way. It seems that you are able to ride the wind of storms that hit your life and always come out on top. I don’t know how you do it and I am amazed!

Sometimes I wish I was willing to throw all caution to the wind and jump! Jump and take that needed risk. But I hesitate.

Sometimes I wish I could share with you how vulnerable I feel…how open and raw! How that there are those times …like now…I long to escape the harsh realities of life and discover a slower, a softer, a less stressful side of life.

Sometimes I wish…

Ah…but this moment is ever fleeting and soon will be nothing but a mere vapor drifting on the warm updrafts lifting high over the mountains and it will be well.

Soon spring will burst forth, flowers will open up with their glorious beauty, birds will sooth my troubled soul with their chorus and the sun will bath all it touches in its golden glow.

#rape #abortion Now #secretsnomore

Triggers: rape, abortion and child abuse

We all have secrets.

I’ve learned if those secrets aren’t told, if they’re not allowed to be released then our body and mind will become infected! It’s been proven that many of our physical issues can be traced back to our holding onto secrets.

Secrets are poison!

I recently posted 3 physical areas I fought to overcome due to many years of childhood trauma. There is a vital connection.

I’m learning the freedom of telling my #secrets though not everyone is able to do so.

That’s one reason I am a #voiceforthevoiceless because not everyone has yet found his or her voice.

And not always is it easy for me to share my secrets. When I share it makes me very vunerable; however, I know how vitally important it is to speak the truth!

#Truth brings healing and freedom and a deep compassion for others who are hurting.

But it’s not all fun and good vibes! I get hate mail through emails and message on social media but I figure that’s just a few obstacles in my path.

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I woke up this morning from a dream where I was talking out loud and weeping. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t get the dream outta my consciousness so I just got up and poured my first cup of steaming hot coffee of the day.

In the dream I was a young teenager. I was standing in the principle’s office at my high school looking at a lot of fellow students through a large glass window while holding the desk microphone talking. And I was crying.

I woke up saying, “All I ever wanted was a mom to love me and accept me just as I am!”

In the dream as I’m emotionally talking suddenly the door opens and a young teen girl with long blonde hair comes towards me saying, “You have to stop talking now! You’re causing a lot of trouble!”

(No clue the importance of hair color but it was a strong image.)

This young girl was reaching towards me trying to take the Mic away from me telling me that I had to “be quiet!”

“You’re telling too much! You’ve gotta be quiet! You’ve shared too many things!”

But somehow I knew I couldn’t be quiet any longer! I had to tell my truth!

You see not long before this event I’d been raped at the football field and ended up pregnant. My mother convinced the doctor that I needed an abortion otherwise I’d go crazy and hurt myself or the baby! So they make this plan and in a few weeks I’m no longer pregnant.

I’d tried ever so hard to protect my unborn babe. My mom knew I was pregnant before I ever told her. Yet still I desperately tried to protect my baby.

The day arrived when she drove me to another city where I was scheduled to get my abortion. I was so scared but had been taught to obey whatever my mother said no matter what!

There was severe punishment if I didn’t obey.

My name was called and I was taken to an office where a well dressed woman talked to me about the “blob of flesh” they needed to remove. Not one time did she refer to the “blob” as a baby!

I was so confused and very scared! Moments later a nurse comes in to lead me down the hallway to an exam room. She has me to undress then lay on the exam table then gives me a shot.

In a short time a man in a white coat comes in and has me to put my feet in the stirrups at the foot of the exam table. I’m not sure what he’s doing but the most excruiting pain hits my abdomen. I cry out!

He tells me, not too nicely, “Just be still. It’ll be over soon!”

The pain was horrific!

I hear a vacuum like sound then a few minutes later a number of plopping sounds like something being dropped in a bucket of liquid.

It didn’t take long. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse tells me to get dressed. As I’m leaving the room I stumble over something. I look down and there on the floor at the end of the exam table is a five gallon bucket half filled with bloody looking blobs. I almost vomit!

My baby had ended up torn apart retchedly disposed of in a bucket of other babies torn apart and murdered!

I was sixteen years old.

That baby would now be 43 years old!

It’s taken a great deal of counseling, massive amounts of prayer, many sleepless nights, drugs, alcohol and more trying to move past the deep intense pain of what I’d done.

Now I have peace…oh not because of what I did but because I know God has forgiven me! It’s taken a lot for me to learn to let it go, to forgive myself and to use the horrible thing I did to hopefully help someone else!

If you’ve had an abortion there is forgiveness! And there can be peace.

I am praying for you!

I’m here to listen to your story.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

#secretsnomore brings victory

Tell me then, are you yet ready to step into #secretsnomore ?

It will require action on your part!

When you decide you’ve had enough, when you decide you deserve better you will then make a choice to change!

As long as you are tied to that secret you will walk with mental bondage!

It’s your choice!

Free mind! Free life!

Secrets poison your entire your being!

#secretsnomore is here to help you, to encourage, to listen to your secret!

You are a precious individual!

You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

You are unique!

Do you feel broken…tired…left out…undone…scared….alone…..

and much more!

You don’t have to! We are here to help!

We’d love to hear from you!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Author Pamela Richards Woodall on facebook

Yes my friend, there is indeed hope!!

How my going #secretsnomore has helped to improve 3 physical issues

I held the #secrets inside my heart, my inner being, for so many years. And in doing so I became very sick. I suffered from various forms of stomach issues and other physical junk.

1. I remember numerous doctors over my life time telling me I “have a nervous stomach”. I’ve dealt with diarrhea and constipation most of my life as well as intestinal issues.

2. I’ve fought severe headaches that have often put me to bed, lights out and everything quiet type pain.

3. I’ve dealt with chronic joint pain much of my life. Inside my body is a woman longing to escape the confines of skin and bone to go running through the forest unencumbered by any form of restraints…yes, maybe even butt naked!

No probably not literally but it would be so wonderful to walk my life’s path in total freedom. I do know I enjoy more liberty now than ever before! For that growth I am grateful!

*What physical issues have / are you dealing with because you’ve felt forced to keep the secrets?

Oh wouldn’t it be radical if we who have suffered childhood trauma learned that by releasing/telling the secrets we in fact would expedite our own healing and take back our power?!?

You can do your own research to confirm how emotional healing will in fact heal physical problems. I have and I also know from my own personal experience this is true.

#mentalhealth

#mindfulness

#lovemyself

#iamworthy

All of these are important to my well being and yours as well.

I chose to walk my healing path with Jesus leading the way for without Him I have no doubt I’d be either dead or in an insane asylum! I am so stinkin blessed!

What about you?

How are you gaining ground on your healing path?

I encourage you to take a step today towards your healing!

Why?

Because you my friend are so very worth the effort!

I’m praying for you this day!!

Have the best day you can have right where you’re at!

I’d love to hear from you!

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Author Pamela Richards Woodall on face book

I keep #secretsnomore !

She sat hunched over on the tattered couch over in the corner. Maybe if she scrunched herself really hard into the soft cushions she could soon squirm down into the fabric and disappear.

Her stomach hurt from the stress and fear, groaned at the pressure of needing to talk, to share her story. Her throat was dry and she feared she’d cough which would give away that she was indeed present, here, sitting in this room, this office.

Oh she dared not look up, not to raise her head for then they surely would see the wetness that dared to leak down her face and drip silently off her quivering chin.

No! She must continue to remain strong, tough, not give in to the pleading questions asked of her! She must not allow herself to hear the compassion in the voice! She must keep her walls up for her own protection!

But she was ever weakening! She felt her resolve slipping and knew the end was near!

Gathering all her remaining energy around her she slowly lifted up her tear stained face and dates look at the old wrinkly man sitting behind the large desk.

With quivering voice she said, “Yes! That is the man who repeatedly held me down and did horrible, mean things to me!”

Then she faded away into her nothingness!

#secretsnomore

We all carry them!

We’ve been so conditioned to not tell if we know what’s good for us.

The abuser threatens us in every sorta way to make sure we are silent!

But you can tell the secret and live!

I did! I am #silentnomore because I keep #secretsnomore !

You can too!

Yes, oh my goodness gracious it’s super scary but it’s so worth it to gain your own freedom and step on your healing path!!

If you need someone to tell your secrets to I will listen.

Pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Life is way too short to carey the burdens if others that aren’t yours to pack around!

You deserve better!

You Do Have Purpose!

In this brand new year remember to be uniquely you!

No matter what that may look like!

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Have you ever felt you weren’t enough?

Well, my friend, that was in fact a lie. A lie designed to trip you up and hopefully cause you to step off your intended path towards your purpose!

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You can do this!

You can decide #secretsnomore !!

It’s your life…it’s your decision!

Can I get a like from all those who showed up today doing the best they can do on their path of purpose!!

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Don’t let anyone tell you different!

You are amazing!

Give me a holler!

pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

#secretsnomore

 

 

 

 

#secretsnomore

Secrets! We all have them! We all are carries of the secrets. But how many of us are able to make the decision to stop doing so?

I have decided that I will have #secretsnomore !!

I carried them for many years…only to end up bruised, battered, and almost beaten down to where I could rise no more! For over half of my life I carried those dark, destructive secrets down on the inside of my soul which almost killed me. But God had other plans!

So I’m learning to heal and share my story of what I experienced and how I have overcome!

Now, today, I am a woman who is set on enjoying this life I’ve been given to the fullest! I have a wonderful husband who is also my soulmate! He is my biggest encourager and supporter!

I chose to not keep their secrets any longer!

Why should I? Most of those abusers are dead now anyway but even if not, I still refuse to keep their secrets!

What secrets have you been keeping?

In my first book, Secrets in the Hollers, I share bits and pieces in a fictional setting of what I experienced back in the hollers of Kentucky. I will soon be releasing book two, Secrets Exposed, and am hoping to have book three, which is as yet untitled, published before the end of the year.

My husband and I are also writing our story spanning over 40 years, Soul Mates: A story of Redemption!

He has been encouraging me to write My Truth: The Story behind the Secrets which will be autobiographical. Whew..that will be a challenging one for sure!

I encourage you to begin telling one secret. It starts with a small step, a determination, a knowing that you, my friend, are really worth the effort to gain the healing of your soul you deserve! You are special and you are very worthy!

I am hear to listen to your story, to tell your secrets to. No one should have to carry such a heavy burden!

What secret are you willing to share today?

You too can begin today by having #secretsnomore !

Feel free to email me at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com

Follow me on face book at Author Pamela Richards Woodall.

I look forward to hearing from you!

You are not alone!

 

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Who You Are!

You are ‘nobody’s’ anything but you are God’s everything!

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

When others doubt your abilities, your functions, your dreams….that’s your cue to change the channel, to turn the dial, to tune them out.

You were created for great things!

God doesn’t make junk!

You are beautiful in His eyes! He is watching over you and loves you with an everlasting unconditional love! A love that will never fail! A love that you can not stop Him from loving you no matter what you do! A love, that when you do finally accept it, will cause you to go further than you ever dreamed of!

You are a beautiful creation!

God says Who you are not others!

Who are you listening to?

 

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Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

Radical or Calm Emotions? Which do you have?

It’s early morning as I write these words. I looked out earlier to discover a frost gently laying across our hills and valley. It is beautiful!

I used to not be an early morning person but for some reason as I’ve grown older….actually over this past year…I’ve realized a likening for early morning.

I fix my first cup of coffee, turn on the local news and journal a bit then read The Word and plan out my day.

I so need His Word to direct my day and calm my emotions. I clearly remember when I used to be lead by my radical emotions which often got me into trouble! Now I’m learning to tell my emotions to be quiet and give a listen to what The Spirit is saying to me! Keeps me outta trouble that way!

There is nothing wrong with emotions at all! I believe they are a beautiful gift from our Poppa God to us. He has emotions and we are made in His image so it stands to reason we will have them as well. However it is what we do with them that counts!

How many of you have been at the store and get to witness a child having a temper fit?

It’s not a pleasant experience for sure.

I wonder if our Poppa God looks at us when we’re throwing a temper fit cuz we didn’t get our way shaking His head?

Honestly there have been times when I’ve seen older children throw themselves on the floor frailing and thrashing about and I wanted to spank their bottom! That is not acceptable behavior!

Our Poppa God is a loving Heavenly Father and I believe He expects us to behave in a mature manner as we grow older.

And because He is a loving Father He will discipline us as needed. He does not think up ways to beat us over the head with a baseball bat; no, He loves us and will provide instructions to help guide us.

How do we keep our emotions under control instead of allowing them to control us?

1. Read His Word

The Bible is our life instruction book. We really have no excuse for not knowing how to behave or which way to go for it’s all in the Word! There are many examples of how we are to conduct our self all throughout these pages.

2. Wise Counsel

It’s so vitally important to have those who are mature in the Lord that are willing to journey with you on your path. But take care here, not everyone has your best interest at heart! Choose those mentors wisely! Ask Poppa who it is He’d have you counsel with.

3. Use Your Written Words

I have been journaling since I was a young girl. It’s been very beneficial for me to do so especially as I’ve gotten older to write down my thoughts. I am now able to see patterns of behavior, whether good or bad, that I can either enhance or chose to change.

So often we fear change which actually we’re fearful of the unknown. But again, if we are following hard after Poppa then we have nothing to fear!

I’m finally learning to face my fears by stopping and turning to face whatever fear it maybe and deal with it. No it’s not always easy and my emotions can get all whacked outta place but it is necessary if I intend to grow!

What emotions do you struggle with?

What are some of the ways you have learned to control your emotions?

I pray you have a beautiful day!!

#nomorefear

#secretsnomore

#secretsinthehollers

#V4VL

#iamavoiceforthevoiceless

You Were Meant for Love

Kari Kobe has a song out, The More I Seek You, that totally wrecks me!! I listen to it over and over.

We were all created for LOVE….to receive love, to give love! We were created with a deep need to be loved and accepted!

So many times that doesn’t happen in our lives. Maybe we had dysfunctional parents or care givers who were never taught this love thing therefore they did not teach their children how to love.

Have you ever watched an innocent child? They just love…openly…without hesitation. That’s simply how they were created!

But…..

Life comes along and many times stirs things up on the inside….changes our belief system…causes us to put up these gyhugic walls we think is for our protection. Funny thing bout walls is that yes, they will offer a form of protection keeping the bad out. They will also keep the good out and….they will keep us in!

For many years of my life I now realize I’ve lived my life behind these walls hoping for protection yet denying myself thw very thing was created for: Love!

I’d learned very early in my childhood that I was a bad person, dirty, nasty, unlovable….or so I thought! I was listening to and believing those lies!

I was wrong!

I was none of those things!

I’ve been learning I am the opposite..I am amazing…I am unique…I am loveable…I am worthy…I am able to give and receive love!

My beloved, my husband, has worked hard at helping me to tear down my walls. And yes they leave me very vulnerable but I am now feeling way more than ever before.

Love is real! Love can and often does hurt! Love is fulfilling!

You were made to love!

More importantly, you were made to be loved! You are lovely and so worth being loved!

You are uniquely you! There is not another person like you now or ever!

I encourage you to begin today tearing down your walls to let thw light of love in! You don’t have to live a lifeless life…real, true, life changing love!

You are worthy!

You are loved!

I’d love to hear your story!

I am praying for you!

Drop me a line at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com