Recently, my husband and I were able to head to the Smokie mountains for refreshing and recharging! I so love being in the mountains! They speak to me and offer peace to my soul! When we were on top of Clingman’s Dome I read one of the signs that were posted. It spoke of how the Cherokee people sought healing in those mountains. I believe it is true!
I’ve often wondered if green is God’s favorite color. He sure did create many shades of it for us to enjoy! Or at least I do. I love escaping to the woods, getting out in nature, finding a safe spot to sit and meditate. I’ve taken to the woods for safety and comfort since I was a little girl needing to escape the ‘red-hot pain’ that threatened to engulf me from all the child abuse. And I still find great peace in the underbelly of the woods! I’m so thankful we have a wooded area on our property!
On our trip, we met some of the most intriguing people. I enjoy engaging with others, asking questions encouraging them to share their story. We met people from all around the world. One thing I took away from our trip was that people, no matter their skin color, just wanta be valued and loved and respected! That’s all!
How have we as a society gotten to where we are today? Fussing, feuding, fighting, blaming others all contribute to unrest and fear. These contribute to our problems, not offer healing solutions. I personally do not believe it’s a statue problem or even a virus problem. No, it’s a heart problem!
But who’s willing to sit down at the table and talk about our problems instead of destroying lives and property? Is someone willing to tear off the scab of old wounds to get down the root of the problem where it’s nasty and oozing with toxins? Who’s willing to listen?
Who’s willing to sit with that person until healing takes place? I wonder how many would do so.
Sadly, there are few folks who are willing to get down in the ditch of life to help others up. I’m so thankful to those who were willing to help me get up out of the ditch I was living in and embrace freedom in Jesus Christ! Without Him, I’m sure I’d be dead or living a horrible life!
Are you a ditch digger willing to help others climb out?! It does take all kinds to make the world go round. And one truth for sure we cannot escape is that when any one of us is cut, we all bleed red!
I can’t help but wonder if, during this lockdown, we haven’t been called to examine ourselves more closely. I know I have and there are numerous areas I’ve found lacking! How are we choosing to help others? How are we conducting our self? What are our values?
One area I have been studying is fear. Never in all my sixty years have I witnessed such a worldwide mass hysteria of fear! Fear is NOT of God! To me, it’s like common sense and thinking for one’s self was thrown out the window! We are told countless times in the Bible to ‘fear not’!
It’s sometimes hard to not give in to that spirit of fear when it’s raging all around you. Thankfully, when Jesus lives in us, we have much to hope in! We put our hope and trust in Him then fear has no authority or right to torment us! May we all gain that truth and put fear on the run!
It is my prayer that if you are struggling with fear you will soon find peace and comfort. That you will rest in Him and gain wisdom that will guide you on your path!
I woke up recently with a sense of anger in my heart! As the morning continued, I enjoyed my coffee, yet I noticed the feeling still draped around my shoulders like a well-worn coat. So, I began to examine it! Being a seer-feeler I often sense the emotions of others! It doesn’t take me long to understand where this anger is coming from!
Children! Our precious and innocent children!
No! I’m not angry at them but rather, for them! What atrocities many are now having to endure! Not a single one of them asked to be born, yet because we live in a sin-filled world, they are having to pay the price for the evilness heaped on them by men and women all across our area and beyond!
This ‘pandemic’ we are now under has everyone running around much like I imagine Chicken-Little doing in the children’s story yelling, “The sky’s falling! The sky’s falling!” When in fact it is not!
The increase in child abuse is not just here locally but worldwide. “At least 165 countries have shut schools due to the COVID-19 outbreak, impacting more than 1.5 billion children who will have more time to spend online, leaving them prey to sexual predators, said the United Nations children’s agency (UNICEF). UNICEF estimates 1.8 million children are sex trafficked every year – but this does not include cybersex trafficking.” See article http://www.reuters.com
If possible, please monitor your child’s online presence. Many adults prey on the innocence of our children then pounce to abuse them!
Our children are now at home 24 x 7 due to schools shut down because of the C-virus. I ache for these kids. While I do fully understand the necessity to make this decision, I still can’t help but wonder if officials have truly thought out the long-term effects! I do pray there are plans in place.
When a child grows up in an abusive home, they often feel worthless which can haunt them for many years. I’ve fought this demon myself but it’s a lie! My safe haven was school! I knew I was safe there away from the poking and prodding. I also knew I’d receive at least one meal a day which wasn’t always true at home. I knew at school I didn’t have to worry bout strange men dragging me off to my own bedroom!
“If you’ve been told over and over again as a child that you are stupid or no good, it is very difficult to overcome these core feelings. As they grow up, abused kids may neglect their education or settle for low-paying jobs because they don’t believe they are worth more. Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse, often struggle with a feeling of being damaged.” See article http://www.helpguide.org
We have a responsibility to children everywhere! There is hope! It takes all of us working together for the betterment of all involved.
Don’t be afraid to check on your neighbors. It’s recommended to ‘social distance’ not ‘emotional distance’! Remember #faithtrumpsfear! Get creative! Drop off a bag of essentials like toilet paper, games, craft items, a special treat for parents, etc. This virus doesn’t have to stop us from having compassion and love one for another. Bake the kids next door a batch of brownies or cupcakes. Drop them off on the porch, knock then leave. Or toot your car horn to let them know you’ve just dropped off some delicious goodies and don’t forget to leave a note.
This is a time when we all can share our creative ideas on how to connect. God didn’t intend for us to live in isolation! Isolation is a tool of the enemy! It can cause us to get into stinkin’ thinkin’ which does none of us any good!
Please consider posting a sign at home or in your business “Stop Child Abuse” in honor of all our children. April is National Child Abuse Awareness month and as a result of the C-virus shutdown, we have not been able to host our annual awareness event. However, we are utilizing social media to continue to get the word out! No child deserves to be abused!
Together we will help “Spark the Change”!
If at all possible, please create a sign that simply reads, “Stop Child Abuse”! You can use blue ribbons, balloons, paper, etc. Hang it outside your business or home then take a picture of it. Use the hashtag #sparkthechange and upload it to our Facebook page. Let’s flood social media with a positive message as we each stand up for our kids!
Have you suddenly found yourself a school teacher?
Are you experiencing various emotions you hadn’t noticed before?
I’m pretty sure it’s normal!
I remember back in 2011 at the time when I was living in Joplin, Missouri when an EF5 tornado ripped through the city how our normal was forever changed. So many people underwent a life change after that! Whew! I know I sure did!
For me, I sought the assistance of a qualified, trauma counselor to help me navigate the changes my life was undergoing. It was hard in the beginning but as time went on I found myself growing stronger! That’s a good thing!
Anytime we walk through a major life-altering situation we will experience change. It stands to reason.
I have begun to hear folks say things like, “Well, I’ll be so glad when everything goes back to normal!”
I’m sorry but I do not believe that will ever happen!
Imagine you’re doing a load of laundry. You accidentally throw in a red shirt into a load of whites. Oh no! Now you have pink towels, undies and so on. You can’t go back and pull out all the red die.
The demolition crew comes out and tears the house down clearing the way for a parking lot. The bad thing is, the read the address incorrectly and tore down the wrong house! You can’t go back to the point in time before the wrecking ball hit that first board!
Once you speak those words, whether good or bad, you can not shove them back in your mouth and in your mind. Once released, they’re gone!
So it is with change!
Once we undergo change our world is forever changed! Now that doesn’t have to mean a bad thing necessarily. It simply means we must all learn how to ebb and flow with changes that life brings our way in a healthy manner!
Because of a very traumatic, violent childhood and domestic violence, I have fought the spirit of fear all my life! I’d say over the past five years or so I am learning more and more how to turn and face said fear!
Now, in the past, I’d begin to fear a situation, person, etc and end up almost paralyzed with fear to the point of not being able to make a rash decision. Fear will cause us to act and think irrationally!
In my mind, I would grow this thing I feared to a giant, extra-large size; a size so large that there was no way I could ever overcome it. Therefore, the spirit of fear had successfully grabbed hold of my mind, my thoughts and my actions. It had me in its clutches!
That is until I began to gain tiny victories in facing said fears and overcoming them!
Begin with small steps
If need be, make a list of fears you’d like to overcome
Write out small steps needed to do so
Reward yourself when you successfully face each fear
Although some might not agree with me; goodness, I don’t always agree with me!
So how are you today with this new virus that has spread around the world and is the cause of so much shut down? And, get this…a new term for us, social distancing! How’s that for new phrases.
For me, it’s been challenging!
I’m not necessarily a people person in that I am the life of the party, so to speak. I do, however; enjoy going out and people watching, interacting with others and now, I feel that has been taken away from me.
Do I understand why?
Yes, I do but I miss people!
I, like so many of you, am trying to do what has been set down by our government officials in order to provide widespread protection against this virus. It is vitally important we all do what we can to help stop the spread of this sickness. Yet, at the same time, I believe we all need to utilize common sense!
I am personally relying a lot on my faith that God will see us through all this. I know He hasn’t fallen off His throne, therefore, I will choose to trust Him.
We all deal with it though not to the same extreme as everyone else. Some are rarely bothered by these emotions while others are often paralyzed!
It is my prayer that during this time we can all lay fear to rest and focus on faith and doing uplifting, positive actions!
I speak blessings of peace over you and your household!
We have stepped into the second month of a brand new year and a brand new decade. How exciting is that! The sound of that just seems to hold many new and adventurous possibilities doesn’t it?
Yet, how many of us are making healthy choices on purpose?
How many of us are determined to face the truth of our issues?
Many times I’ve pretended I was just fine, thank ya very much! When in fact I was dying inside and was silently screaming for someone, somewhere to please find me before I go under the tide for the very last time! But “No”! I couldn’t dare tell you my truth….even though I’ve read that the ‘truth shall set you free’. (John 8:32)
Fear and shame were my constant companions!
Fear kept me from reaching out for help; for letting others know, even close friends and family that I was in desperate need of help. Fear kept my mouth shut! I’d often been told as a child when being raped, “If you tell anyone I’ll hurt your mommy like this! Do you want me to do that?” Well, of course not!!
And the shame! Oh my goodness! The black, sticky shame kept me feeling so very unworthy; so extremely dirty; so unwanted and all alone! What if I told you my dark, dirty secrets? Would you still wanta be around me? Would you still wanta be my friend? Would you help me?
And that’s just how the evil one wanted it! I’m one of those individuals that believe we either follow good or evil. There’s no in-between! So, now in looking back, I can easily see where the devil was working through those around me to keep me down, to keep the evil thoughts flowing through my mind, to entice me to make unhealthy choices! For many of my years, I did not realize nor own my truth that I had a choice: That I could say, “NO!” I did not know I could!
The first time I remember having a thought that I could say ‘no’ was during an attempted unsuccessful sexual encounter in my late teen years. I declined a guy’s advances which he did not like at all. That was the beginning of my awakening from the deep slumber that had been injected into my being many years ago of believing I had to go along with what was done to me as well what was expected of me. It took years of counseling, lots of determination to overcome the lies and false beliefs of my past, many prayers and a lot of starts and stops! I had to choose to become healthy! Because I was worth it!
Now, I believe we can all begin in this New Year, this new decade, to make a difference for those around us, for those younger than us rising up to become leaders in the tomorrows by exposing once and for all those lies connected with mental health issues, that there should not be a taboo on this subject. Of course we need balance as we decide with whom to share our stuff. But we need not feel ashamed in doing so either! Nor do we need to shame others!
I firmly believe that it is now time to pull the scab off of our mental health issues and get to the root of the problem! Various forms of abuse are often the root of addictions and other unhealthy practices but we do not have to remain stuck in that lifestyle! There is hope and help! There is freedom and healing!
How I so wish someone would have been brave enough to step into my mess with me. Healing is messy and maybe not everyone is cut out to get down in the ditch of mess and help an individual. But, maybe we need to do so! We at Broken Pieces No More, Inc firmly believe that once we begin to examine and deal with root issues we’ll begin to see a more healed society. We believe no one deserves to be abused and that’s why we exist; to help raise awareness of various forms of abuse and addictions as well as providing healthy healing options.
I now have more peace and hope than ever! I believe you can too!
You can reach us at firstname.lastname@example.org or Broken Pieces No More Inc on facebook. Or drop us a note at PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502
Have you ever sat out in the woods? I try to as often as I can for it brings my soul great relief and peace. I’ve had the wonderful opportunity of sitting there, pondering this or that, when suddenly I hear the plonk-plonk-plink-thud as an acorn has let go and falls to the waiting ground hitting first one branch then another. Or you hear a sound thinking it’s rain and turn to look behind you and your senses are flooded with the visual of a shower of falling leaves of various colors. What a sight to behold!
We all need some time to get away and recharge, renew; to examine those things that are stored up in our soul. But it seems to me in this day and age in which we live folks are so busy, yes even right here in our own little community. When I sit and people watch I am amazed at how fast everyone seems to be rushing from point A to point B. I can’t help but wonder when, if ever, do they make time to slow down and unwind, recharge, renew?
When you are repeatedly beaten, raped, abused at will by a narcissist, whether as a child or an adult it will mess with your head….massively! Fear, anxiety, depression and more will try to haunt your everyday walk! That’s why it’s so important to find a good counselor and determine to do the work in order to heal.
When you have suffered any form of trauma it rewires your brain. It takes time, healthy counseling (and no, I do not believe all counseling is healthy), for me lots and lots of prayer and hard work to overcome that trauma twisted brain. Those of us who have been affected by various forms of abuse must realize that this is our reality. However, we do not have to remain in this state of mind! We can gain necessary healing by getting to the root of the problem then dealing with it by doing the work to heal.
We must start working towards that as stated in Matthew 15:13, any thing planted within us that is not of God must be yanked up to wither and die!
God did not plant that trauma/abuse in any of us so; we therefore, must allow Him to do His mighty work within us to help us pull those roots out! Expose the lies! Reveal the secrets! Declaw the monsters!
An example from Lisa (not her real name): He called me horrible names and raped me for years until one day I looked in the bathroom mirror, believing his lies, and decided there was no point in my living any longer. My kids would be better off in a foster home. As the tub was filling with hot water, I went and took ever pill I could find. Didn’t matter to me what it was. Then I found the sharpest knife I had and stripped my clothes off and climbed into the hot water. I guess the hot water and pills knocked me out pretty quick so I didn’t get the chance to slit my wrists. My sister found me and called 911. With her help I escaped and moved into a shelter. Now I know better. Now I know I am worthy! Now I am helping others find their worth!
It takes time to rewire your brain from years of trauma. You can do it! Don’t give up! And don’t give in! You are so very worth the effort!
On Nov 8th Broken Pieces No More Inc will have a Family Fundraiser Chili Supper & Silent Auction at Rocky Hollow Athletic Club from 5:00-8:30. National Impressionist/Singer Kevin Adams will provide us with some incredible entertainment. Our board members will be on hand to share more about the vision and purpose of BPNM. There will be unique items to bid on while doing some early Christmas shopping. And great tasting food to enjoy!
You may contact us at email@example.com or follow us on face book for updates at Broken Pieces No More Inc. You can also catch us on the twitter at BPNM Inc. You can also drop us a line at PO Box 1373 Somerset, Ky 42502.
We’d so love to have you on our team. Together we can ‘Spark the Change’!
I woke this morning refreshed and energized, even excited! My body is tired but my mind renewed and for that, I am very thankful. You see, over the past four days my world has turned upside down so to speak. On Friday, the nursing home where my mother stays had to have her transported to the Emergency Room. There, after testing, they discovered two large blood clots, one on each lung. After consulting with the doctor he told us that she would probably be gone before morning. She’d refused medicine and even the oxygen that was vital for her living.
We all need our momma!
Wow! What a shock! I’d contacted our son who lives 700 miles away. The doctor told us he didn’t believe our son could get to the hospital in time before my mother passed. Goodness! So my husband and I prepare for the finality of her home-going as best we can. We stayed at the hospital until late in the night when she grew agitated so we left thinking maybe we were causing her to not rest.
The next morning I hadn’t received a call that she’d passed so we were kinda shocked and even more so when we got to the unit where she was only to see her standing at the nurses’ station talking with them. Oh, my goodness! This woman sure is tough!
After a consult with the doctor, who was as shocked as we were of her continuing to live given the conditions of her lungs, we decided the best route to take would be to have Hospice give her comfort care for her last days. So later in the day, they transported her back to the nursing home.
We and the doctor asked her repeatedly if she’d like the medicine that would prolong her life. Her response was, “No, I want to go home!” Well, I’m thinking to the home she grew up in. So I ask her, “Mom, what home?”
She responds, “I wanta go to Heaven to see Jesus and Tommy! (My stepdad.)
As my husband and I have daily visited her we have been very shocked at her mood. She laughs, she jokes and we enjoy being with her. At our last visit, she was tracking well and in a good mood. Some things were mentioned about the past where there’d been some deep heart woundings for both my husband and me. She looked at my husband and said, “I’m so sorry! Will you ever forgive me?” Wow…and yes he has and told her so.
Then the conversation shifted to some rough years I’d had to endure at her manipulating after my husband I were separated long years ago. (We are now remarried. He is my precious soulmate!) She looked at me and said, “And that was my fault and I’m so sorry you were hurt!” Again, wow!!!
And we’ve talked about the books I’m writing. She asked me to remind her of my first one. I told her it was about the child abuse I’d experienced. “And the second”, she asked.
“It’s about the domestic violence I experienced”, I replied.
She paused a few minutes then looked up at me and said, “Your books will help a lot of people!” Wow…just wow!
My point in all of this is never give up! Pray for God’s redemption and restoration. My mother is dying. It could be today or a few months from now but she is indeed dying. I know God has blessed us with a very special gift. I believe I am seeing what my mother woulda been like had she not gone through her own horrific abuse! She made bad choices, we all have; however, she did not gain the healing needed to overcome brokenness from the past.
We all need freedom and forgiveness!
I encourage you, forgive those who have hurt you! Please don’t waste precious time! None of us are guaranteed of tomorrow. You may not be able to have a healed relationship with them because they may still be too toxic but you can walk in the sweet benefits of forgiving! Forgiveness is for you so you may live your life in victory and freedom and sweet healing!
I would love to hear your story of how you have been able to forgive!
For me….I had to….
1. Ask God to give me the want to, to even begin to forgive!
It wasn’t easy and took lots of practice! I knew Jesus had forgiven me and it was necessary for me to do the same to others who’d hurt me.
2. I had to remember I am not ruled or lead by my emotions but His truth.
There were many days on top of many days when I did not ‘feel’ like forgiving her or anyone who’s abused me. That doesn’t make it so. I had to remember, sometimes even as I was screaming and kicking my way through the mess, that His truth would set me free!
3. I needed to accept I was worth forgiving!
So many times those of us who have been hurt through abuse often feel unworthy. We struggle with whether or not anyone could ever really love us because we feel so dirty. Those are lies from the devil! He wants us to stay in bondage so he can lead us down a very dark, destructive path. He is a lier!!
In accepting I am worth forgiving it is often easier to then forgive others as well as self!
Jesus paid a very high price for my freedom: With His very life!
I am learning that I am indeed worth loving and forgiving myself because my Jesus says so! And so are you!