Real. Raw. And nakked! I was decived!!!

This time in 2015, I made a huge life-changing decision. It was not made lightly but covered with much prayer, tears and questions. No one …I mean NO one…knew what I was dealing with behind closed doors in my marriage. I was so very scared! Terrified, in fact! I had no idea what I’d do or where I’d go. Actually, I was homeless for several months. Oh, I had a safe place to live, which I am forever grateful for, yet I did not have my own home!

I have tried to not go into a lot of details about my previous marriage for several reasons.

One of those is I don’t believe in bashing or trash-talking anyone else, even if it’s a former partner and if there were soul-searing issues! However, there comes a time when the truth must be told.

The second reason I dared not share my truth from those years was that, for the longest time, I felt this deep guilt, shame and condemnation! (I can hear my friend Kathy telling me firmly, ‘Now, where does that come from? You know it surely doesn’t come from the Lord!) She’s right! I mean, when I did make the choice to leave, I found who my real friends were and let me tell ya, they were few and far between!

Oh, I had many ‘friends’ coming out of the woodwork, so to speak, telling me what a godless decision I’d made and how I’d be punished. Yes, I was actually told that!!

Wisdom Nugget:

Please don’t spout scriptures or your belief of scripture if you do NOT have true knowledge of what happened! You are NOT a mind reader. You have NO idea what that person has lived through! When you pounce on someone acting ‘holier than thou,’ you’re only hurting yourself!

This morning I gained a major revelation. I was going through pictures from the summer of 2015. The before and after!

Me bout a week after I left. My sweet daughter-in-law took me to get my hair done completely differently. I had worn it long and dyed a funky blond color. I like this picture greatly!!
When I moved back home, which I swore I never would because there had been a lot of pain at home, I stayed with family members. They welcomed me with open arms. I gained a lot of healing with them in their safe place and I will be forever grateful!
This was taken up the road from the safe place I stayed for a short season. Much healing and love lived there!

Before I left, I lived my life in fear…. gut-wrenching fear! There was much abuse though not physical or sexual. There was a tremendous amount of financial and psychological abuse!

I should never have married this man, but I did. Mainly because I thought I was ‘helping’ God to direct my future instead of relying on Him to direct my path. What I was doing was being deceived! I believed a lie. I was reenacting a pattern in my life. I encourage you to examine repeated patterns. There’s great truth in them if you’ll just look!

Do I have regrets?

Yes, I do!

I hear various arguments about having regrets! Yet, I do. That’s my truth for right now. I regret that I did not listen to wise counsel telling me not to marry a man I’d met online! How foolish I was! You truly can not get to know someone long distance! It’s just not possible! You must develop a long-term trusting relationship face-to-face, and then not everything is always revealed! I was wrong!

I regret disobeying my Heavenly Father. Yet, I am oh, so grateful for His forgiveness, His love, and His mercy!!

There are regrets that still hurt my soul and my heart, yet I know my Abba is healing me deeply!

I’ve repented to Him for my flippant behavior! I pray often to be able to completely forgive those who hurt me. Healing is messy and can take time.

I also pray for God to forgive me for hurting anyone during that season! None of us are perfect and sometimes, I feel so far from that! We all can play a part in someone else’s pain.

As time moves forward, I pray for His leading and continued healing. And that as time allows, I will know when and where to share that part of my story. I also will NOT live in any more fear, guilt, or condemnation!! All that comes from the enemy of my soul!

I now ask Him to help me to forgive myself for being deceived, for making life-altering decisions that not only affected me but many more! And to restore that which was stolen from me during that season!

I will cling to Him to bring even more healing and freedom in my life!

I now choose on purpose to listen for His voice directing me this way or that! I can’t do this thing called life on my own, but with Him, all things are possible!

If you have experienced any season of deception, I am praying for you!

There is HOPE!!

There is healing available!

And there is freedom and peace!

Feel free to reach out at: pamelajwoodall@yahoo.com or leave a comment below!

I’d love to hear your story!

Fear is a liar!!

Have a beautiful day!

This is me today!!

Happy with my beloved and deeply in love!
And loving life!!

The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Egypt: In or Out?

Have you left Egypt?

Have you felt led out of your Egypt?

Did you leave willingly or were you forced out?

Much like the children of Israel, we all have our Egypt we’ll need to eventually leave. Well, that is, if we truly want and desire to become that which our Heavenly Father has destined us to become.

We can NOT stay in our Egypt and do what He’s called us to do!
Nor, can we expect to be completely victorious if we allow any bit of Egypt to remain within us!

What is an Egypt?

For the children of Israel, they were being held in captivity, in bondage, having to work for another. They were forced into slave labor. They had no choice. They had no control over their daily lives.

During the 400 years they were held captive they acquired the taste for the false gods, the delicious food, and sadly, the very fact that even though they were in bondage, they grew used to someone leading them around by the nose, so to speak. It’s amazing what we allow ourselves to become used to, to become familiar with, even when it isn’t good for us.

** Have you allowed that which is not healthy for you to become familiar?**

Many times when we find ourselves in Egypt, we probably should look at past patterns and circumstances surrounding our situations. We can be our own worst enemy! Our bad decisions can easily lock us into an Egypt experience that we surely do not wanta be in. Have a gander back over your life to see if there might be one or more Egypt experiences.

One of my own Egypt experiences was not learning from past mistakes, repenting, and then changing the trajectory of my course to reach my destiny sooner. No, I had to do my own thing! I had to have it my way! I believed I needed what was familiar. The unknown scared me silly! And that was a contributing factor to my downfall….even if temporary.

I’m now in a season of examining the patterns of my life, especially those that have caused pain, setbacks and failure. I do not wanta repeat them any longer. I desire to develop new and lasting patterns that will propel me forward!

I believe I have left my Egypt. Meaning the lifestyle I lived previously, the choices I used to make, and how I made decisions based on emotion instead of what He wanted of me are all now changing with a deeper desire to please my Abba.

However, I’m now growing aware of wondering just how much of Egypt is still in me!

Sometimes I wonder just how constipated we can become!

Maybe I need a good dose of spiritual detox, a good spring tonic to cleanse my soul!

Photo by WARREN BLAKE on Pexels.com

I need to become even more aware of those things that are familiar that would draw me back to Egypt.
I need to change my way of thinking to focus more on the positive, the blessings.
I need to learn to view my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit instead of just a vessel that could be, might be abused again.
I must be willing to learn how to trust Abba with my every step and get me outta the way.
And I must desire to experience the new and wonderful blessings He has for me instead of living in fear and distrust.

Yes! It is now time to get Egypt out of me and embrace the newness of life!

It is possible!

Do you struggle with still having some of Egypt within you?

How are you removing it?

I encourage you to take one step at a time! You can do it! Have faith in Him!

You are a beautiful and unique individual!

Early Morning Blessings

Early morning.
Sun hasn’t yet shone through the clouds.
Quiet.
Peaceful.
Flowers blooming.
Intimate time with Abba.
Soul cleansing.

Prayers for a wonderfully blessed day!

Prayers of Peace

My goodness, we’ve sure got a lot of upheaval within our world right now.

Wars and rumors of wars!

A worldwide sickness that’s created mass confusion and grief!

Pedophiles being called out!

And so much more!

Yet, if you’re a Follower of the Way, then you know we are not doomed!

There is hope!

Yes, it looks bleak!

It seems very scary!

And yes, it can cause widespread panic and unrest.

Then again, isn’t that a strategic tactic of the enemy!?

To cause fear, bloodshed, chaos and more?

If we, who are Followers, know in Whom we hope then all is NOT lost!

Photo by vi Media on Pexels.com

It is my prayer that you have peace in your heart. But if not, then my prayer is that you will soon discover this sweet peace that passes all understanding.

I’d love to hear from you!

Massive blessings!

December Already??

Oh my goodness…it’s December already!

Where did this year go to???

Seems to me it whizzed by and I didn’t get to experience as much as I’d liked.

It’s been another strange year and I’m not sure we’ll ever get back to what we once perceived as normal. We probably won’t go back to what was but we can look forward to what can be!
We can learn how to shine even when the situation seems darkest with Jesus on the inside of us!

This new year let’s…..

This new year let’s all focus on loving ourself just a bit more!
Let’s eat the chocolate!
Let’s take a nap!
Let’s turn the music up blastingly loud!
Let’s practice saying, “NO”!
Let’s layout in a field watching the clouds float overhead!
Let’s get naked and admire our body! (No…not together.)
Let’s learn how to stay in the moment!
Let’s learn how to color again…and this time…don’t worry bout staying in the lines!
Let’s just simply sit and be!

What one thing are you planning to be in 2022?

Tis the Season of Grumbling…err…I mean Thanksgiving

Here today as I work on a new blog idea, I look out my window. I have been creating a flower garden for several years now just outside my window to provide inspiration when I get stuck. Writer’s block is not a good thing.

I can look out and see squirrels scurrying about along with a few ground squirrels, Chip and Dale can really move even with those tiny legs!

Photo by Yash Gupta on Pexels.com

I also have a large butterfly bush that has a lovely purple bloom on it. It’s still green even though we’ve been having some damaging frosts lately. Wow…what determination!

I’ve greatly enjoyed my little flower garden. I hope to be able to add to it this next year. I’ve realized that when I first began developing it there was a lot more sun but as the nearby trees grew they are now blocking out a lot of direct sunlight. Flowers need that to shine.

Isn’t that just like us?

We need the Son’s direct light to shine on us so we know and understand what it is He’d have us to do. I know for me, without Him in my life I can easily get bogged down by the ugliness of this world.

I find myself wondering what would happen if I stepped into a detox type of season momentarily by disconnecting from most of my social media, turning off the television especially the news and focusing on only positive thankful things for a bit?

Lately, my mental health has taken a hard hit.

I can’t help but wonder if someway, somehow I’ve allowed the enemy to slither in when I give in to grumbling?

I believe when I give into grumbling I am engaging the negative forces which, if taken in large doses, will block the positive ones. It is my decision for I am the one who holds the remote to many issues I face.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but of late I’ve really been doing a lot of grumbling and complaining.

Philippians 2:14 ESV

Do all things without grumbling or questioning,

James 5:9 ESV

Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door.

Exodus 16:8 ESV

And Moses said, “When the Lord gives you in the evening meat to eat and in the morning bread to the full, because the Lord has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him—what are we? Your grumbling is not against us but against the Lord.”

Exodus 15:24 ESV

And the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?”

Exodus 16:7 ESV

And in the morning you shall see the glory of the Lord, because he has heard your grumbling against the Lord. For what are we, that you grumble against us?”

Exodus 16:2-3 ESV

And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”


What are some negative effects of grumbling and complaining?

A quick google search pops this up:

When you complain, you increase your levels of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. Chronically high levels of cortisol can lead to a variety of health problems, including increased risk of depression, digestive problems, sleep issues, higher blood pressure and even increased risk of heart disease.

Wow….that’s not very good now is it?

What are two ways you are practicing positivity during this season?
Drop your answers in the comments below.

I will…

  1. Limit my time on social media daily.
  2. Make sure to get outside for fresh air and Vit-D.

I believe that a lot of our battles in our mind can be overcome with a positive attitude and a grateful heart. For me, that doesn’t come easily due to a trauma-filled past. However, I am learning to adjust my thinking and focus on the positive. I am also learning how to change my patterns of thinking.

I have much to be thankful for instead of grumbling and complaining about.

What are you thankful for?

Prayers your holiday is stress-free, and if not, then that you will be able to distance yourself from the stress drainers…those who like to suck the life right outta ya!

Enjoy your day!

Make wonderful memories!

And be abundantly blessed!

You are worth it!!

Photo by Scott Webb on Pexels.com

Grief and the Holidays

This year for the first time in my life I have no desire whatsoever to move forward into the joyous season. I’d just rather skip right over all the silly season and wake up on December 26th, thank you very much!!

Grief hurts!

I’ve been visiting with a grief counselor who has helped somewhat. Although, honestly I believe one thing that will help is simply time.

Today I’m missing my sweet mother-in-law. We did not have the typical mother-daughter-in-law relationship. Ours was very special and unique!

It was more mother-daughter!

Right now where I live the leaves are falling from the trees. Actually, there’s a blanket of fallen leaves laying over our yard. Mom didn’t like to let leaves pile up. She was always concerned someone would come around and flip a cigarette out and start a fire. Even in her last days, she’d go outside and rake leaves all the while, needing her walker to help her walk. She’d worked hard all her life and did so as she was able to right up to the end. I admired her so very much!

I always called her ‘mom’. She passed away this past August!

I miss her fiercely! As I know my sweet beloved and his brother do as well!

I’ve realized the family dynamics change greatly when the previous generation is gone. Dad, my husband’s father, passed away in 2016.


This is mom and dad long before I came along. They were so much in love. And because of that love, presented a godly example of what it was like to be married. No, their life wasn’t easy for they both had to work hard all day every day for most of their lives. Yet, when the end of the day rolled around and they laid their heads on their pillow, there was contentment in sharing another day together!
What a lovely couple they made!

I don’t know how to do this grief stuff!

According to a quick search on the internet, grief is the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions.

I acknowledge that I’m in a deep season of grieving. I lost my mother in September 2019. I was with her when she exhaled her last breath. My dad passed in December 2020. I couldn’t be with him as the nursing home refused me to be with him! That still hurts deeply!

And now my precious mother-in-law!

Grief isn’t just about the passing of loved ones.

During the past few months, I’ve come to realize I’m not only grieving the loss of parents and sweet in-laws, but I’m also grieving the loss of my innocence. Having gone through horrific child abuse I learned early in life to pretend all was well and to stuff my true emotions way down deep on the inside of my soul. Well, that’s not healthy!

I believe I’ve been dealing with a lot of physical issues due to ignoring this pain within my soul!

How to deal with the grieving process (Grabbed this off the internet)

  1. Acknowledge your pain.
  2. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
  3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
  4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
  5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically

The pain isn’t as bad as it was in the beginning, right after mom passed. I watched her exhale her last breath. I rejoice for I know she’s in Heaven and no longer suffering. Yet I surely miss her. I miss what might have been!

Over the past few months, I’m gaining more knowledge and understanding of what it means to simply sit with my pain.

I’m learning to embrace it!

I’m learning to talk to it!

I’m learning to touch it!

I’m learning to feel it!

I. Do. Not. Want. To. Feel. This. Pain!

Yet, I also know if I refuse to do so then my healing will take a lot longer. I don’t wanta prolong the healing that’s watching me as I grapple my way along this morbid path. I want to embrace my healing! Grab my healing and dance!

I simply refuse to drag this giant bag of pain and various attached emotions along behind me for the rest of my life!

I have way too much to live for!

I am so stinkin’ blessed with this incredible husband I have!


I am writing more books and they are being published!

Writing helps me release those demons who’ve messed with my mind.

Writing is healing!

Writing is a cleansing process. I’ve written a lot of letters lately to those who’ve hurt me in one way or another. I’m choosing on purpose to release them, to forgive them and move forward.

Does that mean the pain stops?

Nope!

Well, not for me anyway!

And one positive thing with all this pain junk is that I’m now realizing I can actually feel. That means I’m not stuffing it! I’m not pretending I’m okay when inside I’m falling apart!

Here’s a list of the first four books I’ve written.

Each of them are available on Amazon.

My first book.
Second book I wrote.
This was the third book I wrote. A hard one to write.

My latest book I’ve written. This book details the abuse I lived through during my childhood. Another hard one to write but very needed!


I’m currently working on book 3 in the Secret series as well as the story of my beloved and I. Both will be released in 2022.

I’m also learning to be gentle with myself. I used to put me last. I guess many of us do that for whatever reason. I’m now learning that I’m worth the effort of self-care. It’s not easy cuz I’m having to unlearn years of negative self-care and replace those learned behaviors with care for me.

I know that’s how my Abba Father desires me to do. He tells me that in His Word.

I know grieving is an important part of living. It means I’ve loved deeply. And was loved deeply!

I know I’m gonna be alright.

I also know this part of my life path is messy and hard and sad.

So if you see me, don’t fret!

Don’t think you need to be upbeat and joking around me. Sometimes I’d just like someone to sit with me. Not saying anything or doing anything special. Just being real.

It’s okay. We all experience grief and we all deal with it differently.

I’m just choosing to be raw and naked with mine! Maybe what I experience will help someone else!

I don’t know how we’ll do holidays this year.

I know the three of us will have Thanksgiving together. My beloved and I have been talking bout getting away on Christmas. Making new memories.

Our family is small…though not of our choice. Our son and his sweet family live far away which makes getting together often very hard. The other family members…..well right now there’s stuff going on so we just simply let ’em be and go on. We know God’s got it and He has them in His capable hands. For that we are thankful.

I am blessed….I hurt deeply but that simply means I’m allowing myself to finally feel!

And lordy, those feelings sometimes suck!

But…..I will rejoice!
I will keep on keeping on this healing path!
I will discover great and amazing blessings along the way!
And I will always be grateful for being able to feel!

That simply means I’m not dead yet!

I pray your holiday is comforting.

Don’t force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. It’s really not worth that effort. You, my friend, are so worth learning how to deeply love and respect yourself!

This year I refuse to put myself in a situation that could cause drama or crap! Life’s way too short for that stuff!

Blessings to you!

I Wept for You Today


I wept for you today
In the kindest most gentlest way
I wept for you today

Do you see the child within
So broken and so scared
I wept for you today

When will you stop running
When will you surrender
I wept for you today

I see that wounded one within
I sense the brokenness and the pain
I wept for you today

Do you feel so all alone
Hopeless and despaired
I wept for you today

I long to hold you to take your pain
But I hear you boost I’m fine
I wept for you today

I ache for the wounded little you
The one so scared and all alone
I wept for you today

When will you let go
When will it be enough
I wept for you today

It’s your choice to let go or not
It’s up to you to receive His love
I wept for you today

Please before it’s too late surrender
Allow Him to comfort you so well
I weep for you today

Freedom in Him can be had
Forgiveness is your key
I weep for you

You’re not alone
You are not rejected
I weep for you today

I pray for you

I weep for you today

~Pamela Richards-Woodall

Power in a Pandemic: What is fear?

During this time in which we find ourselves living, I firmly believe we must be willing to step outside the box, even ourselves, in order to grab hold of new and innovative thought processes for surviving day to day with a healthy mindset. For me, that’s included a few things I’ll share here.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts from wherever you are.

I do wanta encourage you in that you are not alone! Especially if Jesus lives in your heart!

Isaiah 54:10

Even if the mountains were to crumble and the hills disappear,
my heart of steadfast, faithful love will never leave you, and
my covenant of peace with you will never be shaken,” says Yahweh,
whose love and compassion will never give up on you.

1. Keep your focus on His unfailing love

 His love endures forever” (Psalm 136:26).

It has taken me so many years to realize God’s unfailing love for me!

I grew up in an insanely dysfunctional home where love was never spoken of nor practiced. Not sure my guardians knew how or what love really was. Well, no, of course, they didn’t; otherwise, I wouldn’t have experienced such horrific child abuse! I was taught that I was worthless and no account. That was a lie!

I am very valuable! As we all are in God’s sight!

Being married to my wonderful beloved has taught me so much about unconditional love! We are neither perfect, but his love for me is a godly love and reflects Jesus in Him. I am highly blessed and healing deeply as a result!

2. Do not fear!

There are over 365 times written in His word to ‘fear not’!

I’ve had to engage my mind on this one so much, or rather, I have to retrain my brain to not focus on fear! I grew up with fear as a close friend, so close in fact that I could often feel the hot, clammy breath of fear breathing down my neck as a little girl.

#fearnot

For me, I have to focus on the blessings and promises of God, rather than what the media is throwing out on the airwaves of late. If I don’t keep my guard up, I can easily be freaked out by what folks are spewing forth of late. That’s not healthy!

I know in Whom I believe and it isn’t some news outlet or social media site. I occasionally listen to several news sources, for I do not believe any one of them solely anymore. It’s kinda like the ole saying, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Don’t get all your information from one source….unless that source is the Word of God!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sadly, I find many I meet along the way are so afraid!

And why not??

With all the fear being spewed forth daily on social media and through news outlets, it’s no wonder we’re not all running for those mountains for cover!

I have learned that fear is a perceived threat of some kind to ourselves or our family unit. When we are afraid, we react totally out of the ‘flight or fight’ mode. Adrenaline pumps through our system, causing us to make hasty decisions instead of mediating on a safe answer.

I’ve also read where some believe the opposite of fear is safety. Maybe so. I know for me when I’m afraid, I do not feel safe at all. I’m learning not to jump into the emotion of fear so quickly!

I’ll hear folks talking bout how we need to stock up on this or that because soon there won’t be any more of that item, and fear begins to quiver within my being. There is nothing wrong at all with using common sense and being prepared. I just can’t jump over into being afraid. Then I must remind myself on Whom I believe and trust.

Maybe for me the opposite of fear is trusting in the One who made the universe!

Fear is nasty and messy for me and I do not like it in my life. I appreciate the times I need that emotion for protection but I do not want to live there anymore! Life is way too short to live in fear!

I pray you are doing well and that you are able to get a handle on fear!

Have a most blessed day!

Photo by Yelena Odintsova on Pexels.com

Let us seek the Lord

May we seek our Abba when we are afraid and chose to be like King Jehoshaphat gathering all around us to seek the Lord and fast!

And may we draw deep within our being and never forget “the battle does NOT belong to us! The battle belongs to the Lord”!!!!

In all we are facing today or gonna be facing this week our Poppa God has not fallen off the throne nor has He forgotten us, His children!

Let us go forth this day and this week being an encouragement to those we meet!

Praying one for another and sharing a smile!

You are not alone!

Check out II Chronicles 20

Have a most blessed day!!

#nofearhere

#faithoverfear